this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2025
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[–] Sheepy@sh.itjust.works 74 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

This is so painfully close to being Loss. There's got to be a way to juggle those squares around just right.

[–] uuldika@lemmy.ml 31 points 2 weeks ago

is this Das?

[–] seralth@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Wait this isn't loss?!

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

Omg I thought that was the joke.

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[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 55 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Fuck gender and fuck german for letting "the" get THIS fucking out of control.

I studied this fucker for 5 years in secondary school, got a B , but fuck it.

I'm learning/speaking Spanish now, it's still got gender and el/la/al but it's not this bad.

My first language of Turkish doesn't even have "the" for fucks sake.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

there's a cheat code called "not giving a fuck" where you just say "die" or "das" for every word, and natives will just cringe slightly and then forget about it

[–] Distractor@lemm.ee 10 points 2 weeks ago (10 children)

Afrikaans (one of my mother tongues) uses "die" for everything. The first time my (German speaking) partner overheard me saying "die man" he was so freaked out 😂 He still can't deal with it, it's just too wrong for his brain.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

tbf i empathize, sweden has remnant gendering and hearing someone use the wrong suffix makes me barely able to parse it as the same word

hell in some cases it literally just ends up being a different word, "the table" is "bordet" but "the tables" is "borden", while "the chair" is "stolen"

it'll be interesting to see if this changes in the future, considering we have a significant diaspora of middle-eastern immigrants who just give up and use "-et" for everything.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

you're forgetting to mention the best part about swedish grammatical gender: since it's all vestigial there are no rules left for which word gets what. the words are not gendered, but the suffixes are.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

hm, isn't that just how all grammatical gender works?

[–] lime@feddit.nu 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

in languages with grammatical gender, the gender is affixed to the noun, and that affects how the word is used (think der/die/das, or the endings of words in french). in languages without, like english, there's usually just one way to modify a noun (the table). swedish has somehaw ended up with the worst of both words, where we have multiple ways to modify nouns but no gender affixed to them. or rather, we have two; "common", and "none". we used to have a system like in german, but it all sort of collapsed in on itself and nouns basically sorted themselves into the two current categories at random depending on dialects and stuff.

[–] barsoap@lemm.ee 4 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

but it all sort of collapsed in on itself and nouns basically sorted themselves into the two current categories at random depending on dialects and stuff.

That's how it started out in the first place! Indo-European noun classes don't really have anything to do with gender, there just happens to be three and the words for "man", "woman", and "thing" are in distinct classes, so that's what the classes get referred by. Otherwise it's semi-random, that is, by phonology. Unless people disagree (it's die Nutella btw).

Classes are useful because they allow for concord between nouns and other parts of speech. The German the sentence "He holds a pen (Stift) and a bag (Tüte) and puts him on the table" unambiguously tells you that it's the pen which is put on the table: Bag makes no sense because it's feminine. There are rules as to how words are distributed into classes but no native speaker will be able to explain them short of the dead obvious. Not part of native-level German lessons, that's literature and grammar analysis, not phonetics. Romanes ite domum.

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[–] Distractor@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

I suspect that's what happened with Afrikaans. The Dutch colonialists mixed with English and native speakers, leaving a language derived from Dutch but without gendered nouns, a different accent, and many foreign words integrated.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Das Mädchen und das Weib haben kein Mitleid für die man

[–] Distractor@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago
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[–] Laser@feddit.org 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Spanish is a rather easy language

German on the other hand not so much. On the other hand, it's usually very precise and information-dense, which is reflected in how fast it rather slow it's spoken, especially compared to Spanish.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Eh, there's lots of filler in German, too. I learned both Spanish and German and as far as I can tell, Spain-Spanish fast talking is more a feature of cultural extroversion than anything inherent to the language. Even many of the american Spanish speakers speak considerably slower than the Spaniards, and there's no obvious reason why Spanish should be spoken so much faster than Italian, Portuguese or even French.

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[–] exocortex@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe you know it but if not read Mark Twain's Essay "The Aweful German Language". It's a fantastic and bellyachingly funny thing to read. I am a native speaker and have to admit Mark makes so many brilliant points.

[–] azolus@slrpnk.net 30 points 2 weeks ago

Ist das Verlust?

[–] Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 21 points 2 weeks ago

Babe wake up. The German grammar political compass just dropped.

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

I’d like to start a petition to replace all these bad boys with “deez.” For example: Deez Frau ist mit deez Hut…uhhhh…getanzt.

[–] Muscle_Meteor@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

You think this is bad you should see a chart that explains the prepositions across the cases... Jfc

[–] kopasz7@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

This actually makes more sense than the arbitrary grammatical genders. (Sure, english has it simpler with, "from where", "where" and "where to")

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[–] subiprime@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

6 articles?

amateurs...

meanwhile the polish words for "this" and "that":

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 5 points 2 weeks ago

Same across other Slavic languages

[–] bownage@beehaw.org 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 7 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I wish it worked this way, but nooo, neutral gender is only 'for things' and 'dehumanizing'.

[–] Peter_Arbeitslos@feddit.org 7 points 2 weeks ago

Gendern nach Phettberg enters the room

[–] bownage@beehaw.org 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Don't worry I don't mind being dehumanised

[–] germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

It’s all fun and games until someone revokes your human rights 😔

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[–] flango@lemmy.eco.br 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Laser@feddit.org 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Though it'd be maybe even more helpful if you're and columns were named; from my understanding, the columns are "male | female | neuter | plural" and the rows "Nominativ | Akkusativ | Dativ | Genitiv"

[–] barsoap@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They are, it's just transparent thus you get black on lemmy background dark grey.

[–] Laser@feddit.org 2 points 2 weeks ago

Haha ok, thanks, I had no idea

[–] abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

English: We have one definitive article: "The".

Me: OK, that's nice and simple.

Scots Gaelic: Our's is a little more complicated. We have "An", which becomes "Am" for words beginning with B and P, for words starting with an h as the second letter (Th, Bh, Mh...) we use "A' ", and for plurals we "na", oh and if the first word in a word is a vowel, you slap "h-" onto it.

Me: OK, a we bit more complex but I can vibe with it, German what's your Definitive articles?

German:

[–] yetAnotherUser@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

and if the first word in a word is a vowel

Damn, that sounds a bit complex /j (Thanks for the insight on how Gaelic definitive articles work btw)

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

No one who speaks German could be an evil man!

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

in order of masculine, feminine, neuter, plural

  • nominative: der, die, das, die
  • accusative: den, die, das, die
  • dative: dem, der, dem, den
  • genititive: des, der, des, der

which becomes:

  • RESE
  • NESE
  • MRMN
  • SRSR

in high school I pronounced this mnemonic as:

  • resee
  • nesee
  • Mormon
  • sir sir

My teacher didn't like the "Mormon" bit, he wanted me to say "merman" but I found it easier to remember "Mormon" and his discomfort only made it stick better, lol.

[–] impeccablepenguin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is exactly how I learned it as well, except I did Mermen instead of Mormon.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

yes, I think "merman" is standard, lol - I was a silly teenager

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 5 points 2 weeks ago

$5 says I'll forget again in ten minutes.

[–] Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

akkusativ my beloved <3

[–] levzzz@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

lossですか?

[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

disrespect bullshit grammar rules, just say "dee" to everything.

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