dandelion

Honestly I have the same fears and situation. One way I approach this is to have intentional plateaus or even weeks where I intentionally let loose and gain a little weight back. This allows me to cycle my fat, having periods of losing and gaining weight, compared to always losing weight.

That said, I would prioritize your health and make sure you get enough nutrition and hydration, avoid starvation diets and extremes, aim to just reduce calories by 100 kcal on a daily basis so you have slow and steady weight loss.

Americans don't know any better, tbh

omg, it's a remake of the video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVQplt7Chos

I remember when he took down the original Sex and Sensibility video, but I didn't know he was working on a new one!! 🙌

Yes, transition has been a lot - it's hard to describe accurately.

I also don't know how to think about my shifting sexuality - part of me is adamant that my underlying sexual orientation didn't change at all, that I'm just as "bi" now as I was before transition. However, it's undeniable that my actual feelings and experiences of attraction changed. Still, it doesn't feel like I became more "bi" even while it feels surprising to experience attraction to men more strongly.

Part of my resistance to thinking my sexual orientation changed has to do with the lack of evidence for this in the scientific literature, and also the dubiousness that changing sexual orientation is possible in contexts like conversion therapy. That's where this attitude of openness seems threatening to me, I don't feel comfortable implying that orientation can change based on mood, for example - it seems dangerous to me. I know it's not meant that way, but I worry that a perspective like that could accidentally be used to justify conversion therapy in a courtroom, for example.

No worries, I understand you are just trying to help OP understand why they might get some hate for pretending to be trans, and I think you have a good point - it's more sensitive to pretend to be an oppressed minority than for example to misrepresent yourself as a dominant group, e.g. straight (lots of people are closeted and we don't think it's appalling to pretend to be straight, it's just pragmatic / survival for a lot of people - there is immense pressure to be straight and cis).

I didn't mean so much to disagree with what you were saying as much as address what you anticipated as getting you hate - I just wanted to show how we might approach a situation like this without gatekeeping, but while being clear-headed about the wrongs here.

We don't have to gatekeep OP's identity to acknowledge that OP pretending to be trans is wrong and upsetting.

i'm so dumb, at first I thought the headline was a resource for trans women to learn to drive trucks

depends on the girl :-)

That's a good point - why think the feelings are non-platonic? I hope OP responds to your question, I wonder what she would say.

Hopefully it's OK to share my experience - feel free to ignore this if it's off-topic.

Before I transitioned I was a lot more like OP, but about men - I could tell I was bi, but it was rather theoretical. There had never been a man or boy that I was actually interested in romantically or sexually, and it wasn't easy to feel stimulated by gay porn for example. At the time there was a real question of why I thought I was bi, and ultimately it came down to some deeper sense of openness and that I found I could be sexually aroused by men in some situations even if it wasn't that common. In some sense I was "incidentally" bi in this sense. Unlike OP, though, I didn't want to be gay or bisexual. (Though I was part of gay rights student activist organizations, I identified as a straight ally.) So I basically hid this aspect of myself and only shared it with one other person growing up. Even now that I'm out I still consider my sexuality something private, and I don't particularly need or want to be seen as gay or bi (though it's unavoidable now).

However, when I transitioned, estrogen really changed my sexual feelings. Though I am aware the same underlying theoretical capability for attraction to men was still present, I found the incidents of attraction towards men increased significantly. There are times I am in public and I am suddenly struck by how attractive a certain man is, and that never happened before estrogen. Overall, though, even if I were single I still wouldn't want to date a man, but for reasons that don't have anything to do with my sexuality, which is not the issue. 😅

I can't afford a lawyer and all these facial creams 😭

no worries - I figured you might have missed part of the post or something 😅 I swear as I get older my reading comprehension is slipping (and I make so many typos now too) 😭

Hopefully you agree, but I just want to suggest we should keep an open gate, so to speak. One doesn't have to suffer or struggle to be gay/bi or trans - that's just not how that works. OP might still be some kind of trans (or not), that's not really the issue here.

OP happens to have another post talking about how they identify as bi even though they are hardly attracted to women, so your comments about faux-bi women might come across differently to her, FYI.

In the end, the community respects self-identification - and this is just how that works. It's not really appropriate to gatekeep identity on a basis like questioning how sincere someone's capacity for same-sex romance is. There are some biromantic-heterosexual women for example who might find it possible to have a romantic relationship with a woman, but generally wouldn't want to have sex with a woman. This is part of why it's pragmatic to respect self-identity, because it's complicated and we don't want a gatekeeping culture that victimizes people with less understandable sexualities or identities.

However, that's not really what's going on in this post - she said she likes to pretend to be a gay trans man to explore non-straight attraction to men, in this case she isn't actually identifying as a trans man and she is admitting to pretending. That's what makes it dishonest and thus problematic.

had my third electrolysis session this week, despite all my efforts, it's often quite painful still and difficult to get through.

I have a special compounded 26% lidocaine cream that I apply many hours in advance, I take acetaminophen and other drugs to help me relax, etc. and I listen to an audiobook - but this time I found myself desperate for the session to be over, hoping it would end soon (even early on in the session). I also try to hydrate extensively and stay relaxed in general. I also like to try to eat a big meal before my session.

Just not sure what more I can do.

I'm thinking about asking the doctor to try xanax for the sessions - I have read online that people found that helpful.

Anyway, open to any suggestions. It's amazing to me that society considers this kind of pain acceptable to undergo, and it seems so unnecessary considering that lidocaine injections exist.

EDIT: I should say, the first electrolysis session I sweated through my clothes and through the sheet they put down, etc. - so I would say I'm doing a better job than the first time at managing the pain and stress, I just wonder what more I can do.

I usually use hemp tinctures like CBD (~ 60 mg) and a low dose of D8, and 1 tsp ashwagandha root powder to help me relax. I've tried kratom as well, but I can't tell if it's relaxing enough - I might need higher doses.

The acetaminophen I take is 500 mg, and I take it 30 minutes prior.