this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment

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[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 176 points 5 days ago (3 children)

We bought this run-down house, my boyfriend and I. While he started working on converting the kitchen into the main bedroom, I insisted on removing the old wallpaper. The previous owner papered every wall and ceiling in the house! It’s a lot of work to remove, but it feels so good to get rid of it. The best feeling is getting a long peel, like when your skin peels after a bad sunburn. I turned it into a game, on the hunt to rip the longest piece possible.

I noticed there was a person’s name and date under a corner section of paper in every room. I couldn’t help but investigate and Googled those names. What I discovered left me speechless. The names all belonged to missing people, and the dates matched the day of their disappearance! We notified the police, who sent the crime scene team. I overheard one of them say, “Yeah, it’s human.” Wait, what’s human? “Ma’am, where is all the material you removed? This isn’t wallpaper.”

[–] RadicalEagle@lemmy.world 115 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Oops, already ate it. Sorry, didn’t know it was evidence.

[–] Kertyna 74 points 5 days ago
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[–] ogeist@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

If you have not read it, I recommend you this short comic: https://emcarroll.com/comics/faceallred/01.html

Same dread feeling...

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[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 5 days ago (3 children)

debunk: would be too expensive, plant fiber is orders of magnitude cheaper.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 33 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Another debunk: human skin wallpaper would be irregularly shaped, so it wouldn't have "corners" to write names and dates under. Also, it would be a lot more than one victim per wall. Also also, I'm pretty sure it would look profoundly weird and not like normal wallpaper at all.

Nice foreshadowing with the bit about peeling a sunburn, though.

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[–] idegenszavak@sh.itjust.works 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

If you already have some spare skin you can at least use it for somethimg. You wouldn't eat that anyway, and mom will be happy for you remodeled the kitchen!

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[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 150 points 5 days ago (15 children)

Two courses of action.

  1. You detain and tie up the Ramirez already inside, just in case. Then you let the Ramirez outside in and do the same. You proceed trying to figure out what's going on. Who is the real one? Problem with this scenario is now you 100% have the fake one inside with you.

  2. You detain and tie up the Ramirez already inside, just in case. You leave the one outside to die. Unethical, but now there's only a 50/50 chance the one inside with you is the fake one.

Alternate option if you're feeling really unethical is you just instantly kill the one already inside and also leave the one outside to die. Technically the safest option.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 106 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Alternate option if you’re feeling really unethical is you just instantly kill the one already inside and also leave the one outside to die. Technically the safest option.

Kick out the inside Ramirez and let them fight to the death. The winner is the fake one.

[–] BossDj@lemm.ee 23 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Won't someone please consider a time travel option??

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[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

And if he floats, he's also a witch.

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[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 53 points 5 days ago (2 children)

You look yourself at the mirror: You are Ramirez

[–] Rhoeri@lemmy.world 20 points 5 days ago
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[–] ChillPenguin@lemmy.world 44 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Oh I've seen this one.

You tie them both up. Set them down on a couch next to each other. Get each of their blood into a dish. Then you take a flame thrower, heat up some metal and apply it to each dish of blood. Easy.

[–] SereneSadie@lemmy.myserv.one 21 points 5 days ago

And then your buddy with the working flamethrower stands there like a total moron and gets killed for it.

[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 47 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Everyone knows the correct answer is the alternate option, but the first one makes the initial drama and sets up the opportunity for a movie to happen in the first place.

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 36 points 5 days ago (9 children)

Coming soon to theaters: Among Us

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 26 points 5 days ago (4 children)

I hate how fucking plausible this joke is, if this actually happens I'm holding you personally accountable

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[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 21 points 5 days ago (1 children)

If the non-ramirez entity has any sort of offensive powers, trying to kill or restrain it might yield a worse outcome. Like, you try to tie up the one inside and it decides the cat is out of the bag, so it bursts out of its skin suit and strangles you.

[–] LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Was gonna happen eventually anyway tho, no?

[–] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Maybe it just wants a snuggle buddy, and is only violent when threatened. Ramirez isn't bad looking....

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[–] thefluffiest 21 points 5 days ago

Or you’re in the Trump regime and deport both Ramirez’

[–] jrs100000@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago

If theres one thing I know about aliens, its that the whole ship needs to burn in orbit. Its the only way to be sure.

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 14 points 5 days ago

You obviously remove the Ramirez with the goatee.

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[–] Tweet@feddit.uk 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Red Dwarf - Psirens (1993)

As KRYTEN and LISTER head for the cockpit, the airlock monitor fizzes on again and a SECOND LISTER appears on the screen.

LISTER 2: What the hell are you doing taking off when I'm still outside? Let me in.

KRYTEN double-takes between the LISTER inside and the LISTER on the monitor.

KRYTEN: I'm afraid, sir, you're already here.

RIMMER steps down from the cockpit.

LISTER 1: He's a Psiren -- don't let him in. LISTER 2: For god's sake -- I can't hang on any longer. He's the Psiren. Let me in! RIMMER: What do we do? KRYTEN: there's no way to tell which is which. We have to let him in. RIMMER: That means we'll definitely have one Psiren on board. A brain- sucking psychotic temporal lobe slurper. KRYTEN: There's a fifty per cent chance we have one on board already. We can't risk killing the real Lister. I'm letting him in.

[–] WraithGear@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Are you telling me that if you remove the laugh track from red dwarf… you lose a comedy and gain a sci-fi/horror/drama?

[–] Sidhean@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Lock one in the airlock, and confine the already-in one to quarters. If Outside Ramirez is bad but can't defeat the module's external shielding, this isn't a good plan. This has the downside of bringing Bad Ramirez to Earth but the upside of not forcing Either Ramirezs, good or bad, to fight for their life. Anyway, fucking love this. Thanks for reminding me of the horror of a Second Ramirez.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I vote to space them both.

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

One of them is already spaced, the work is already half done

[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 53 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Not far off from the plot of the 2009 film Moon

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 55 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Quite far off from the plot of the 2007 film Shrek The Third though.

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 8 points 4 days ago

🌈✨⭐

These are the insightful observations I keep coming back to Lemmy for.

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[–] PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 42 points 5 days ago (5 children)
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[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Twist: You've been in space for a couple years and there's only one Ramirez, you have an aggressive brain tumor.

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (3 children)
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[–] M137@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

This is referenced in Warframe in a couple of ways at different points in the game. For example: You have a kinda schizophrenic ship AI, and while you're floating in space he says this sometimes:

"KNOCK KNOCK! ...Now who would be knocking all the way out here?! Operator, I don't think you should answer that." (Here's a clip: https://youtu.be/ilHi4LeKZmM)

I'll not mention the others since I'd say they're spoilers.

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[–] Rhoeri@lemmy.world 22 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 30 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Ste41th@lemmy.ml 23 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I’d get the rest of the crew near or in the module and discuss the next course of action.

[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 34 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"Ramirez. Suit up. You're gonna go out there and you're not coming back in until there is only one of you left."

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[–] AoxoMoxoA@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago

Bad day to be one of the Ramirez's

[–] alekwithak@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Not sure who wrote this specifically but a bunch of Clickhole 'celebrity quotes' were written by Joe Kwaczala who is hilarious.

[–] criitz@reddthat.com 21 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

What is a clickhole?

Edit: looks like it's a Cracked style website.

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 31 points 5 days ago

It was a website from The Onion that parodied crappy content sites like BuzzFeed, Bored Panda, etc. It was sold to Cards Against Humanity in 2020.

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[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Speaking of US space program, Clickhole also revealed the greatest presidential speech ever that was never delivered. ...oops, this isn't quite like I remember reading it - maybe this is a different draft?

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