Cus its funni
this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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He killed him by being near him
Remind some of this
the vatican couch was plush
The pope didn’t thank him
Rearrange the letters in J.D. Vance and you get VADJECAN
Obviously Vance wanted to fuck the Papal seat. The pope tried to explain that he couldn't just let Vance fuck the chair of St Peter. Vance did not like this answer.
He slew two white whales in the same building!
He probably didn't even do it on purpose. But I'm sure he did it.
Obviously he was hoping to take his powers.
One thing I've learned is never try to beat a couch fucker at his own game
JD Vance was the thing that made the Pope finally give up on humanity.
The Pope had this really hot couch and JD fell in love with it at first sight. JD asked the couches father (the Pope) for the couches hand in marriage. The Pope, thinking this was a strange joke, laughed at JD's request. This filled JD with rage so he slit the popes thoat and began fucking the hot sofa.
As he bled out the pope was forced to watch the repeated violent defloration of his favorite piece of furniture.
*loveseat
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Vance is pure evil. Pure evil needs to feed to sustain. In the face of pure evil the pope lost all hope and then Vance fed upon his soul.
There's photo evidence thanks to AI
He killed the pope then a couple days later started up a Muslim terror attack on Hindus so all the worlds major religions are at war
- Just
- Die
- Vatican
- Asshole
- Now
- Cum
- Expeditiously
CUM.
NOW.
Homie has a problem with decency and people following the word of Jesus, despite publicly saying he is a Christian.
not just christian. catholic.
in any other age, any other pope, he'd have been excommunicated and maybe put to the auto de fe.
I asked ChatGPT to explain why JD Vance would kill the pope and it cited articles at me to tell me that JD Vance did not, in fact, kill the pope. I even tried to get it to doubt itself and it doubled down. If I have to live in slop world, I should at least be able to have fun with it :(
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Probably sitting on a couch he found really attractive and got jealous.
I mean I don't think I know Vance killed him. See Trump can make stuff up why can't we.
If he had anything to do with it he probably heated the discussion and yelled at him like a spoiled brat.
If JD Vance was actually the antichrist/satan it's super funny we greeted his arrival by calling him a couch fucker.
I wonder what couch fucker is in Latin... might make a great shirt
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