this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
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That's crazy I don't think they would

all 45 comments
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[โ€“] josie@lemmy.ml 43 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Companies would, and have, killed people just to make an extra cent. Of course they'd do this.

[โ€“] arthur@lemmy.zip 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The capitalism system is design to maximize and prioritize profit above everything else, and will do it if there's no resistance.

If put ads inside peoples' ass increases profits, companies would try for sure.

[โ€“] Sgt_choke_n_stroke@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

This orgasam brought to you by Johnson and Johnson

[โ€“] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 10 months ago

I mean, branding is a thing too. You don't see J&J slapping their name on porn sites either, even though that's a cheap form of advertising with massive impression numbers.

[โ€“] kamenlady@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

The orgasams are gonna be wild

[โ€“] Ziggurat@sh.itjust.works 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There is ads in public toilet, so sure, they'll put ads anywhere.

[โ€“] federalreverse@feddit.de 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There is even toilet paper with ads on it. Does that count as "ads in our anuses"?

[โ€“] Admetus@sopuli.xyz 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Depends on how far you push it in.

[โ€“] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 months ago

I usually push mine a bit beyond the sigmoid boundary - would that count?

[โ€“] Emperor@feddit.uk 17 points 10 months ago

"Your poo will be back, after this word from our sponsors"

[โ€“] kubica@kbin.social 12 points 10 months ago

When the benefits outweigh the costs they'll do.

[โ€“] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I recently added some Taiwanese porn sites to my wank rotation. And while some of it is good, many studios have this annoying habit of putting temporary tattoos of adverts on the performers' bodies, usually on an asscheek and on the lower abdomen. I can't read the ads, but I'm pretty sure they are for gambling websites.

[โ€“] SuperSpecialNickname@lemmy.ml 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 1 points 10 months ago

Yeah, it's really gross. Totally ruins the mood for me. Fortunately they're not hard to avoid

[โ€“] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 10 months ago

Directal TV

[โ€“] Spendrill@lemm.ee 9 points 10 months ago

Probably not, but they'd definitely patent the method.

[โ€“] walter_wiggles@lemmy.nz 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If you look at your poop in the toilet, then yes they will put ads in your anus. The ads would of course come out with your turds.

[โ€“] kautau@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Embedded into cheap food that then becomes an ad in your toilet. But for a โ€œproโ€ subscription you can shit without ads

[โ€“] trolololol@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Would they be like a sticker on the turd with the message, or more like a 3d printed brown thing?

[โ€“] willya@lemmyf.uk 7 points 10 months ago

They would and it would be the first time you loved ads.

[โ€“] mdhughes@lemmy.ml 7 points 10 months ago

Bruce Bethke, the guy who actually invented cyberpunk and wrote the story Cyberpunk, wrote a book Head Crash. In which the VR hotsuit includes a "ProctoProdยฎ" for bass. Bruce's predictions have turned out more accurate than anyone else's.

[โ€“] BlackArtist@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You can bet your ass they would.

[โ€“] 0_0j@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Heck, they would shove them in your dreams if they can (and they will, using neuralink lol); and then find crevices on the laws to navigate through, like crabs side-walking to move forward.

[โ€“] bestusername@aussie.zone 5 points 10 months ago

That would be shit!

[โ€“] deadcatbounce@reddthat.com 5 points 10 months ago

In some places proctology isn't what it was.

[โ€“] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

no because you can't see up your ass

[โ€“] kamenlady@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

But other people can. It's all about the target audience. You would actually get paid, to show ads in your ass, when someone has a clear view into it. People with ads up their asses are just the medium to deliver the ads.

[โ€“] chahk@beehaw.org 5 points 10 months ago

They already shove ads down our throats, so it's not a big stretch of imagination to say that yes, they would totally stick ads up our arse is they could.

[โ€“] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 10 months ago

There's not much viewership, so it better be cheap. That's the only problem, though, if you're advertising the right product.

[โ€“] DancingBear@midwest.social 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

But if they did this where would we keep our spatulas?

[โ€“] TheKracken@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Introducing the Smart Pipe. Smart Pipe is a registered sex offender.

[โ€“] Grizzlywer@feddit.de 4 points 10 months ago

Eventually but it is already ass

[โ€“] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago

You've never seen dildos with the company name on them? They exist.

[โ€“] mp3@lemmy.ca 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

They need to siphon more data before they start the targeted advertising.

[โ€“] set_secret@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

they would but it would probably be exclusive to colonoscopy equipment ads for Drs.

[โ€“] j4k3@lemmy.ml 2 points 10 months ago

Fart jingles.

*ba da bu ba ba ^double arches^

New timeline plot for the bidet...

the fuck?! my Throne of Thor has HDMI?!

[โ€“] GlitterInfection@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Only if the ad was sexually transmitted.

[โ€“] spittingimage@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I think they'd plaster our loved ones' coffins with adverts if they could.

[โ€“] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

โ€œItโ€™s morse code!โ€

[โ€“] oo1@kbin.social 2 points 10 months ago

I read that with an extra "i"

In which case, yes if they can then sell you the drugs you'd need for the rest of your life.

It's like coca-cola + insulin, from a financial perspective , complementary investments.

[โ€“] kerrigan778@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

There are 100% branded butt plugs out there.