this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 45 comments
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[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 2 points 11 hours ago

Me and my new gf

[–] Tiger666@lemmy.ca 1 points 11 hours ago
[–] canajac@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

No it is not. It's the most fucked up language to learn and write. French is la merde!

[–] Tiger666@lemmy.ca 6 points 11 hours ago

Do you know English? You wouldn't be saying these things about French if you knew English.

[–] Aganim@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I hear you, I dropped the Devil's language in highschool as soon as I was able to do so. I still get PTSD just thinking about the listening exercises on tape cassettes, where usually someone told her entire life story in about a single minute. Unbelievable how fast people can talk in French.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I always laugh to myself when people think French is hard. Try learning Polish and you'll hate yourself

[–] Aganim@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

I'll never hate a language which has a separate Wikipedia page about its profanity. Such a colourful language!

[–] wabafee@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't know french but I kinda get what that tweet said.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 6 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

I thought peach fucked him with the stiletto heel at first.

Context clues.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 46 points 1 day ago (3 children)

And it is better left inside France, where it can do the least damage.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Too late, Fr*nce alone spans 13 timezones.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

"spans" like in the conceitet "grandeur" of the French language. There are a handful of small places that are still colonies spread around the globe just because they had not had the drive to kick the French out. It is more "sprinkels" than "spans"...

[–] Fillicia@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Dommage?!? Quosser tu veux dire "dommage"? C'est beau le français en dehors de la France tabarnak.

[–] Tiger666@lemmy.ca 2 points 11 hours ago

Bien dit, calisse.

[–] Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Disons qu'après 600 ans de colonisation intensive, le mal est déjà fait.

[–] anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml 131 points 2 days ago (1 children)

For those confused it says "Me and the goth girl who gave me my first prostate orgasm"

[–] dis_honestfamiliar@lemmy.sdf.org 36 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Thank you kindly. Thought it said something related to premium or top most.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 30 points 2 days ago

You have to pay extra for that

[–] don@lemm.ee 62 points 2 days ago (3 children)

French is a fantastic language. Especially to curse with. Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère. It's like wiping your arse with silk. I love it.

[–] Akasazh 3 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Sacre mille de tonnerre !

Btw the French writer Rabelais, through his character Gargantua has established that the neck of a well endowned goose is the best for wiping the arse:

there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest of the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.

[–] ODGreen@slrpnk.net 7 points 1 day ago
[–] Skunk@jlai.lu 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Wow wow calm down mister Mérovingien.

Nous ne sommes pas si vulgaire que ça bordel de merde, putain ça me troue le cul cette réputation.

[–] Mechaguana@programming.dev 1 points 1 day ago

Ça faiche les insultes de maternelle, on peut faire mieux

[–] bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Hold up. Isn't every (male) orgasm technically a prostate orgasm? It squirts its juices at each one.

[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago

It's different.

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You sound like the kind of person who's never stuck their finger up their own butt before.

[–] bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

What does that have to do with anything? Whenever a man has an orgasm, the prostate adds its juice to the ejaculate - regardless of how the orgasm was achieved. Hence, there is no climax where the prostate isn't involved. That's why I was saying every orgasm is technically a prostate orgasm. Also, when OP takes about his goth queen giving him a "prostate orgasm", I very much doubt she stuck to exclusively stimulating the prostate. Very likely, she just added direct stimulation of the prostate to what most people do to make a guy cum. So, if true, it would have been rather a penis+prostate orgasm, if we name it after the body parts the that were stimulated.

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 11 hours ago

You've definitely never cum in your chastity cage without permission

[–] Fillicia@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

Seems more like he always does.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 points 1 day ago

I know how to brat, don't worry. I know how to get what I want.

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 25 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What does this mean for the economic situation in Bosnia?

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

It could be immediately improved with this one weird trick.

[–] countrypunk@slrpnk.net 16 points 2 days ago

How does this affect the trout population

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 19 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Something about gothic girls giving orgasms through the prostate?

Is "orgasme" actually orgasm? I've literally only known "le petite morte," but I have to assume it's a euphemism not the actual word for "orgasm."

[–] Forester@pawb.social 24 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Le petite morte is the little death

It's a euphemism

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 1 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

No, that would be la petite mort.

[–] Forester@pawb.social 1 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

If you're using the feminine version of the and little, why are we using the masculine version of death? Sincerely, an American who barely speaks French.

[–] Takapapatapaka@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

It is indeed (and apparently that's where the english word comes from)

[–] Grostleton@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago