this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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Its the 14th century and you've had no time to prepare, after you're done reading this post you are snapped. What do you do?

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[–] frozen@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz 11 points 2 days ago

Die a slow death from hyperglycemia once my pump runs out of insulin.

Infect the indigenous population with some god awful pathogen they have no defense against.

Die to a pathogen I have no defense against.

Die to the indigenous population due to being a white dude in pre-contact North America.

It uh... wouldn't be pretty.

[–] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Nobody would be able to understand me because English has diverged so far from 12th century English that it's a different language. Also I'd be in north America where nobody had even seen a white person. Additionally, I'm 20 ft above the ground right now in a building that didn't exist back then. Finally, I'd be rightfully blamed for bringing plague to the native tribes of the area and likely killed.

Assuming those hurdles were all cleared: I'm a mechanical engineer. So, I'd tell the natives where iron ore, coal, and oil was buried and how to extract and refine it. Tell them how to make gunpowder. Speed run making steam engines and lathes. Get north american natives armed, industrialized, and organized against the external European threat.

[–] PurpleSkull@lemm.ee 3 points 2 days ago

Tell them how to make gunpowder.

That right here is all you need. If you can actually forge a gun and show them how to make gunpowder, you don't need anything else. Although even then you would probably be executed shortly after for being a threat to the nobility.

[–] Milk@lemm.ee 12 points 2 days ago (6 children)

I’d be dead in the vacuum of space. You never mentioned that I’d just go back in time, you forgot the coordinates. Now I’m floating, dead. Thanks man.

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[–] Bieren@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Nothing. I’d sit under an tree and enjoy the peace and quiet. No trump. No DC. No MAGA. No reporters. No non stop ads. No social media. No Google. No Elon. No bezos. The list goes on. Sure I’d probably die of some random disease or bandits. But I’d be okay with it at that point.

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Well you can do that today. Find a tree out in the middle of nowhere and sit under it without any electronic devices. Then you are oblivious to all that stuff. You may be bothered by the fact that the things are still happening, but there are also plenty of horrific things happening in that time period you went to, you just won't be keeping track of them.

[–] Zink@programming.dev 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well you can do that today. Find a tree out in the middle of nowhere and sit under it without any electronic devices. Then you are oblivious to all that stuff.

There is much wisdom buried in what seems like a simple comment here.

Even if you aren’t in the middle of nowhere, you can find or create your oasis.

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[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 days ago

I don't think I know a single language from the time, so I'm probably getting murdered because I'm a strange foreigner who can't defend themselves with words.

[–] seeigel@feddit.org 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

First I would seek the attention of the local ruler by cooking interesting dishes with modern knowledge.

Then I would ask him to create an akademy. I don't know the details but I know what can be known. Intelligent people will reinvent the knowledge.

Some side businesses should make enough money that the akademy and thus further development doesn't entirely rely on the king.

Build cities with public transport and no cars, because there is no car.

Success.

[–] PurpleSkull@lemm.ee 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Let me cook you something AMAZING!

First I need some curry...uh...okay, do you have salt? WHAT?

Alright, where is the oven? Time to prepare you some amazing lasagna! Where do you keep your noodles? No noodles? I guess I can hack it with potatoes.

...PO-TA-TOES! YOU...WHAT???

Okay nevermind, let me show you why you need to stop spending all your money on survival in warfare and instead fund my school! I can teach you to...uh...tell you about things we have in the future. No, I don't know how to create any of that. But trust me bro, just give me money. No need to tie me to your trebuchet like that, I'm sure I can remember how to build an airplane somehowAHHHHHHHHHH

You tried.

Edit: But don't worry, your myriads of novel diseases in your body will pretty much wipe out the continent you spawned on. Revenge!

[–] seeigel@feddit.org 1 points 1 day ago

All your points are opportunities. Some should just not be taken immediately. When in Europe, it's not good to start with traveling earth, think Gallileo. When in America, it's better to build weapons first before contacting Europe.

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[–] dotson@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I'd be dead since the Earth wasn't in the same position 650 years ago. Even taking that out of the equation, I'd die since I can't communicate with anyone and don't have the survival skills.

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[–] xylogx@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You would die. There are many, many examples of explorers from “advanced” civilizations getting shipwrecked or stranded in an area where primitive hunter-gatherers live. Unless they are saved by the hunter gatherers, they are doomed, despite their knowledge of science and technology. Joseph Henrich talks extensively about these examples in his book, “The Secret of Our Success”

Check out this video to get an idea -> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jaoQh6BoH3c

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[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 6 points 2 days ago

find the nearest sword and belly flop on its pointy side

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

Try to find the nearest shaman, apothecary or herbalist and trade my future clothes/pocket contents for some hallucinogens and painless poison. I ain't living through a time before electricity.

[–] softcat@lemmy.ca 146 points 4 days ago (2 children)
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[–] null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 40 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Double entry accounting system.

I'm an accountant by trade. The double entry system wasn't invented until the 15th century.

I could account for any lords various assets, goods, and livestock in an efficient, reliable and accurate manner

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[–] redwattlebird@lemmings.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well, I'm in Australia so I would try and communicate with the indigenous population and teach them how to defend themselves against the upcoming colonist invasion and take advantage of what they have to offer, starting with forcing a signed treaty.

[–] Soggy@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

American here: governments have never cared about signed treaties with natives. But your heart's in the right place.

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[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 37 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I would kill everyone I meet with the plagues I carry which I'm immune to.

[–] ChairmanMeow@programming.dev 27 points 3 days ago

You might have a bad time with all the plagues that have gone extinct since then.

[–] untakenusername@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I reread the Bitcoin paper yesterday, so with my newly refreshed knowledge id find the nearest mathimation, explain it to them, implement the protocol with paper records, handwritten hashes, and messages on horseback or something. After a few years when every major economic power realizes how valuable a deflationary currency that Mansa Musa doesn't control (14th century african gold-salt bazzilionare, ~400 bill USD today), the price of my currency would increase vastly, making me super rich.

[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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That’s 1375.

Not good, not bad. Depends on where you ended up on the globe. There absolutely is civilization, but it’s all kings and Tsars and the like. The English and French Hundred Years War is winding down but the plague really did a number on Europe. Lots of war in India. It wasn’t a great time in the Middle East what with the Crusades and all. The Egyptians are conquering Armenia. The Songhai Emprire is growing in Eastern Africa. Southeast Asia had a lot of conquest and a large kingdom growing, might not have been so bad as long as you landed on the winning side. The Ming Dynasty just started in China.

So it’s not like you ended up in pre-civilization or among dinosaurs or something. There are plenty of people around, but it’s still an age of war and conquest. Your best bet to have a great life would be to ally yourself with a strong leader and give them advancements to help that leader “win”. Of course, if he were defeated, you’d be slowly tortured and killed by the opposing side.

[–] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Well, I'm in America, so...

I guess I'd prep the natives to help put up a proper fight. Find a way to teach them that white people (like myself) carry diseases and to stay away and keep them away. If they land on your shores, drive them back. Never let them get a foothold. I'd try to convince them that I was a demon that got away from the other demons to warn of our coming.

I'd do my best to make it so nobody remembered the name Christopher Columbus except as the idiot that died because he thought the world was much smaller than it is and never returned from his voyage.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago

white people (like myself) carry diseases

Congratulations, you already killed them all

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Most likely, you'd just start their mass depopulation pandemic a bit earlier.

[–] The_Caretaker@lemm.ee 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I would use the superstitions of the people of the area to scare them away from me and my space. I would build a Catalan forge and a smelter that is powered by falling water. I would make gunpowder but not share the recipe. I would also distill alcohol for sale and for hygiene. I would use Leedskalnins PMH to create permanent magnets and use them to make electricity. Electric fences also help keep the superstitious barbarians away. I would also be a beekeeper.

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Wow you know how to do all that stuff right now off the top of your head without books or instructions? I am impressed. I feel like the best I would be able to do alcohol wise is distilled prison hooch. Like I know the basic priceable but not the recipe.

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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 42 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I'm on the Gregorian calendar, 650 years ago is the year 1375. I'm in North Carolina, so if I were to snap back in time at my present location I would be a blue eyed white guy in pre-contact North America. And while I think I'm an above average candidate for the Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court scenario I'm not realistically able to start "from scratch." I'd probably make it the summer on forage and my own body fat. I don't picture encountering the natives going particularly well, for me or them. I'm not sick and I'm vaccinated against a lot of shit but watch I'll give them 6 centuries worth of influenza updates.

I don't think it would help that much being plunked down in 14th century England; we're talking Geoffrey Chaucer's lifetime here, to them I'd sound insane. Modern English is a few hundred years off. If they didn't trepan me to let the demons out of my skull and I didn't die of smallpox, I'd try to invent the electric motor 500 years early and be burned for heresy or some shit.

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[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Start a cult.

Everything I've seen for the last decade indicates it's pretty easy and highly profitable.

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

and you have all the knowledge of what cults already took off like wildfire. Mormonism for example, that shit is gold.

[–] turmacar@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

You don't even have to show the gold. Just say you saw it and it's now in that tent over there. No you can't go in. This is what was written on it though. Oh it's in a language only I can read. Don't worry, I'll translate. Give me your wife.

[–] MisanthropiCynic@lemm.ee 30 points 3 days ago

Die because my medications haven’t been invented yet.

Or be murdered because I’m not christian

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 82 points 4 days ago (8 children)

If I snapped you back in time 650 years

2025 - 650 =1375

Its the 12th century

1375 is the 14th century. Which do you mean?

Answering the actual question, nothing good would come of it if my location on earth didn't change. Being the only white person in rural northern Japan well before Europeans came in the 1500s would probably not be a good situation for me. The language, at least the written one, was very different. Being the Nanboku-chō era, things would probably be not great since it was in the midst of 60ish years of war with two different people claiming to be in charge. I can't find, at least before my coffee kicks in, exactly what kinda state Mutsu Province, as it was then called, was in at the time.

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[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 71 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (10 children)

I'd use my knowledge of the future to do two chicks at the same time

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[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 34 points 4 days ago (12 children)
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[–] PahdyGnome@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago (2 children)

As an Australian I would struggle significantly unless you were to also transport me geographically.

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[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 59 points 4 days ago (4 children)

I'll probably die of dysentery. Just because I know modern hygiene rules doesn't mean I'll survive interacting with all the other people who don't but are used to local bacteria and viruses.

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 42 points 4 days ago

Well, I would give you the answer, but since I snapped back as soon as I read the post, I'm now responding what has been 650 years later for me, and I'm too fucking old for this shit a second time. I bypassed getting snapped back this time by just not reading the post and coming straight in to comment.

Now, what will happen if I read the

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

What place do I get teleported to? If I'm teleported to the same place on Earth, then I just fell down several meters into a swamp and am probably going to die here.

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[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 21 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I know thousands of songs. Also, musical instruments like the saxaphone haven't been invented yet.

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