this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[โ€“] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 47 points 1 week ago (1 children)

oh good i wasn't the only one incredibly concerned

maybe it's bc i've been on the receiving end of an unrequited crush from someone i barely knew but man that shit just reads as scary to me

[โ€“] Zoift@hexbear.net 40 points 1 week ago

"Socialist"

Incapable of healthy socializing

pathetic

[โ€“] DoiDoi@hexbear.net 39 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

Back in the early days of this site the general megathread contained some of the most off-putting terminally online shit I have ever seen in my life. Fuckin weird ass cuddle threads and all kinds of baby speak. This place has grown for the better but I dont know that we'll ever be able to fully break away from our creepy ass roots. Sometimes that mega can still hit ya with some full force shit that just makes you close the tab and walk away.

[โ€“] Abracadaniel@hexbear.net 41 points 1 week ago

It's okay you can join the cuddle puddle when you're ready meow-hug

[โ€“] grazing7264@hexbear.net 29 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

When this gets brought up it reads as being irony poisoned to the point of cringing at neurodivergent users

Edit: I also don't see how that's related to people posting about crushing on their coworkers or friends/acquaintances

[โ€“] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

baby speak lol i desperately need to see examples of this

[โ€“] buh@hexbear.net 34 points 1 week ago (4 children)

just imagine a deep-nesting where people just reply headpat and soviet-bottom over and over and over

[โ€“] Des@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

pretty sure during that era some (not) here legit got together IRL.

[โ€“] buh@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I can think of one couple who met on here who are de facto exiled, and another who are still active posters. and those are just the ones I know of lol

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[โ€“] grazing7264@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

I prefer that old site culture

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[โ€“] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago

How tf did I miss all that?

[โ€“] ChestRockwell@hexbear.net 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

DONT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT.

To elaborate for those who are going to "but ackshwally," yes there's some nuance.

If you're in a very large org with different departments, that's different as long as there's not power dynamics. So if you're sales and they're part of quality assurance, ok, fine. Be normal ask them out and move on. Don't carry a torch, that's the one way to really make what could otherwise be a very normal interaction weird.

Don't date your boss, don't date your subordinate, don't date your peers in your part of the office. If you absolutely have to, then BE NORMAL and just ask them out to get over it quickly and remember that the longer and weirder you make it the more likely you could lose your job in a worst case.

You're not Jim and Pam in some slow burn romance. Crushes are for people under the age of 18 (in which case, all the not having sex with coworkers goes out the window if it's not a real job. The amount of kids who hooked up at the pizza place I worked at... It was high).

To spell it out: you're going to have to maintain a professional relationship with this person if they're not interested OR if you break up. Is it worth it? There are probably many people out there you're compatible with. Work crushes are inappropriate, especially since they can't just leave (like, say, some person you hit on in a bar or something). They aren't there for romance either, they're there to work.

P.S. I speak from the fact that I'm at least somewhat socially awkward and the very thought of having to see someone who rejected me or dumped me daily was so crushing I fully embraced don't shit where you eat mindset. There have been a few coworkers I found attractive, but I never carried a torch or crushed on them since I would never be able to act on it.

[โ€“] CptKrkIsClmbngThMntn@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Crushes are for people under the age of 18

sadness

Workplaces aside, sometimes you feel a bit of a something for someone and it's not the right call to make a move. If it's destroying you, you obviously have to get some space, but if not sometimes it just makes sense to ride it out. If you accept it, it can be kind of a sweet thing, and sometimes it can settle into a nice sort of platonic attraction.

[โ€“] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

To me, a crush requires a certain element of self-destruction that other kinds of attraction don't. A crush is also very selfish, it kind of objectifies the other person, and doesn't make them an active part of the relationship building process. I have friends to whom i'm attracted to/admire greatly, but at the same time wouldn't want to actually be in a relationship with, and I just try not to make my attraction everything about interacting with this person, there's the shaky ground imo. I've had some pretty bad crushes, and it ends up pretty badly for both of us, often with the relationship being poisoned by me allowing it to go unchecked.

Then, if you're using crush in a much more lighthearted way like some of my queer friends do, all power to you. Be histrionic and express your love/adoration as loud as you want and to the degree others consent to.

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[โ€“] Drewfro66@lemmygrad.ml 28 points 1 week ago

sad and creepy hexbear posters rise up

vagueposting is cowardice and leads to a more toxic atmosphere on the site than just confronting ppl directly

i do agree with your overall point tho

[โ€“] OgdenTO@hexbear.net 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What about those of us that have unrequited feelings but don't post about it, huh

[โ€“] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

me, thinking about someone i haven't seen in over 15 years because that was the last time i was in a position to have feelings for someone

[โ€“] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 20 points 1 week ago (4 children)

True but also Yoshikage Kira OF ALL PEOPLE would not fucking tell someone that

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[โ€“] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ok what thread are we vagueposting about

[โ€“] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago

I once posted about my coworkers unrequited feelings for Beans from Rango. I apologize.

[โ€“] peppersky@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh no those socially stunted weirdos get weird about social stuff in our completely asocial society why can't they just be normal like me

[โ€“] peppersky@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago

POLICE YOUR OWN FEELINGS

[โ€“] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago

Why does something happen every time I'm not on Hexbear all day?

[โ€“] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Glad I missed whatever this is about shrug-outta-hecks

[โ€“] isame@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago

I haven't posted at all!

I actually haven't, but I did feel particularly attacked by this for... reasons.

[โ€“] Boynomoder@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago

Stop dating your coworkers and log into muggy among-drip

[โ€“] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I thought this was a pride flag until I expanded the image.

[โ€“] Aquilae@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago

Handsexual pride flag

Ok completely unrelated to the actual post, but the colour palette of this screenshot is the enby flag and that's neat.

[โ€“] blame@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

i need a dang hair cut

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