I grow to dislike the concept. Notice how it focuses only on the one who wants to pursue a sexual/romantic relationship, as if platonic relationship is somehow lesser. Why don't we ever hear about the "sexual zone" or "romantic zone" about people who desire a deep platonic relationship with someone but who are placed in the "sexual/romantic zone" by that someone? It hurts to be previously friends with someone who gives you the cold shoulder once they find out you don't want to fuck them. Why should the sexual zoned person's feelings perspective and feelings be cast aside for the friend zoned person's feelings and perspective?

[–] christiansocialist@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

It hurts to be previously friends with someone who gives you the cold shoulder once they find out you don't want to fuck them.

I guess in that case there was never really a friendship to begin with.

[–] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

There was one parody Tumblr post about being put in the "girlfriend zone".

[–] Moss@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Why don't we ever hear about the "sexual zone" or "romantic zone" about people who desire a deep platonic relationship with someone but who are placed in the "sexual/romantic zone" by that someone?

I think the kids are calling this a "situationship" these days.

[–] StewartCopelandsDad@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

A "situationship" is an ambiguous dating relationship where one person maybe wants to get serious and the other doesn't want to talk about it. Risk factors include "short-term open to long" in tinder bio

[–] WithoutFurtherDelay@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I think the problem with this is that someone choosing to not be friends with another person because the feelings are too confusing isn’t an active prioritization of their emotions over the other person. It’s setting a boundary because they know they’re not in a place where crossing it would feel ok to them.

We shouldn’t prioritize romantic feelings over platonic ones, but we also shouldn’t force people who are uncomfortable with being friends with someone because it’s hard to quash their romantic feelings to continue to be friends with that person.

If neither person wants what the other person wants then parting ways might suck but it would suck a lot less than the alternative

I don’t think people should feel forced to pursue friendships (or relationships) that they don’t feel emotionally comfortable with. It sucks a LOT but people should have the right to cut off friendships and relationships for any reason. They have to be a willing participant for it to work, anyways

But to be honest, I’m torn. You’re completely right, but I don’t think that’s incompatible with what I’m saying, either. It just seems like a shit situation, honestly.

I’m tempted to say we just avoid judging anyone who doesn’t turn misogynist in these situations.

And, thinking about it, we SHOULD normalize being friends with exes or people who rejected you. I think there’s room for doing that and giving people space if they feel uncomfortable with pursuing a friendship anyways.