this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2025
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 67 points 4 days ago (6 children)

I don't sext because I can't jerk off and write a cohesive sentence at the same time.

[–] Forester@pawb.social 99 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I could type with one hand before I switched to dvorak.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's not the typing that's the issue. It's the lack of blood going to the brain.

[–] Kalcifer@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

How to say you've got a big schlong without saying you've got a giant schlong /j

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

This used to be me. Eventually I figured out one handed with the unlabeled keys but it took years. Congrats on the happy tendons.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 11 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Yeah, I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Harakiri Rock.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

The one day I work from the office, and you all are going to make me literally LOL.

Seriously 🤣

[–] CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

I NEED SCISSORS! 61!

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

I have no fucking idea what this means, so I will take offense and assume it's a movie quote. GOOD DAY!!

[–] Beardsley@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

More of a bloodflow-to-the-brain issue

[–] MeThisGuy 3 points 4 days ago

I just txt to speech directly from my little head. But it never surprises me because I already know what he's thinking.

[–] danekrae@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"I'm going to puck door mushy so hard where did the tissue go"

[–] Beardsley@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Fuck yes, that's so hot..

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 3 points 4 days ago

Git gud, scrub.

[–] Empricorn 3 points 4 days ago

Yum last Newport at of.

[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Your sentences don't stick together?