this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 44 points 3 days ago (1 children)
  • Be me.

  • Go to school

  • Everyone else in my class counting on fingers

  • Pull out Abacus

  • Crowd immediately forms

  • "Hey guys! He's doing multi-variable calculus over here!!!"

  • Smile smugly. Don't these kids know the abacus has been around for 3000 years?

  • Teacher tells me to stop cheating. Accuses me of black magic

  • Just laugh. Calculate pi to 100 places. People running out of the room screaming and crying.

  • Sent to principle's office. Principle amazed by my technological expertise. Nominates me for Head Boy.

  • Ministry of Magic sends down delegation to investigate my new kind of wizardry

  • Correctly estimate the future national gross domestic product for the next two quarters

  • Voldemort appears and tries to steal my device

  • Perfectly calculate the circumference of his head. Voldemort banished to the shadow realm for 10,000 years.

  • Everyone cheers

  • Open the door, get on the floor. Everybody walk the dinosaur

True story

[–] socrates@slrpnk.net 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I chuckled. Thank you.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 269 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (6 children)

Fake: anon used bigfuckinmistake.exe instead of bigfuckinmistake.sh

Ace: No mention of sex because sex is for sheeple

[–] python@lemmy.world 93 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Sex probably isn't even FOSS

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 48 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

I wonder why people want 'privacy' when having sex, and how it's always 'censored' on TV

Absolutely Proprietary!

Probably filled with keyloggers too

[–] KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz 30 points 4 days ago (3 children)

don't even start on the possibility of getting viruses

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[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 57 points 4 days ago (1 children)

wine bigfuckingmistake.exe

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[–] misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com 182 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

This more or less happened to my friend circa ~2000s. They were technically amazing for our age. When the school "database" was deleted they and a friend were suspended for an entire month, almost expelled.

Turns out they had warned their teacher that the files were in a public shared folder and anyone could just literally delete them. No backups, these were grades, assignments, etc for dozens of teachers over many years. They were severely punished for trying to disclose a vulnerability essentially and blamed for the whole thing.

[–] LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz 97 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Never report vulnerabilities yourself to an organization, always use a neutral, trusted third party to report it.

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 29 points 4 days ago (5 children)

which organization would you use in this situation?

[–] Wolf314159@startrek.website 27 points 3 days ago (6 children)

If you were in highschool at the time, really the only ethical thing to do for someone in your position is to delete all the files and shine a light on their bad security practices, but don't say anything about it to anyone. It's that last bit that always gets you in trouble. Absolute candor is something adults almost never want to hear from children.

[–] michaelmrose@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Couldn't you just rename it to something obvious so as to make people think it was gone whilst leaving all the valuable data intact. mv valuableData.whatever valuableData.thiswholethingisvulnerablefixit

[–] Hawke@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

No then they just start using it with that new name and act like nothing happened.

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[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

A pair of scissors, various magazines, and the postal service.

[–] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I suppose having a lawyer notify the school would be ideal. Most likely too expensive, though. So, yeah, ransom letter it is.

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Anonymity here is the key.

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago

None. Just cheat. It will prepare you for the real world better than pretending to respect the authority of morons.

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 124 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Linux is a gateway drug. Habitual use can lead to harder OSes, which are also Linux.

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 37 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (7 children)

Linux is just a gateway drug to TempleOS

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago (2 children)

And eventually, after that, Nyarch

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Similar though far less extreme thing happened to me in highschool ~99

Some kid decided to rename the other kids home directory folders because they were their student IDs, not an easily identifiable name.

Sure enough, when said students went to log back in, their data was gone.

They took away MY access because they wanted me to come to the staff room to get it restored so that I can fix it for them.

Why we had access to all students home directories and data is beyond me FFS. But yeah.

I did plenty of shit I shouldn't have done, for sure, but that wasn't me, and it was the one time I got my access revoked.

Anyway, it was a good lesson to install a keylogger on a few machines which logged to the local c: and then I got some other accounts for free internet and print credit so there was no more logging me out after that.

[–] biotin7@sopuli.xyz 21 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] zebidiah@lemmy.ca 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)
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[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)
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[–] MoonMelon@lemmy.ml 39 points 3 days ago (2 children)

This happened to a friend of mine in the 90s. He was checking his email with pine. The lady who ran the school computer lab called the terminal "the black program with the blinking thing."

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[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 35 points 3 days ago

Fake: Anon used https://hackertyper.net/

Gay: Anon impressed dudes at school 😏

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 80 points 4 days ago (21 children)

Oh please Christ tell me that kids these days aren't that dumb when it comes to computers.

[–] rambling_lunatic@sh.itjust.works 2 points 18 hours ago

I'm sorry to inform you that when I was in high school I had classmates ask me if I was hacking when opening up the command line. We don't have snitches though and the people here have the ability to listen to explanations.

[–] KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 116 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Computer literacy is definitely down in gen z and alpha.

[–] stingpie@lemmy.world 63 points 4 days ago (3 children)

IMO around 2006 is when you see the decline. It's the delineation between kids who started with computers, and kids that started with phones or tablets.

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 38 points 4 days ago (16 children)

Kids? I regularly interact with PhD students that don't know how to open a fucking ZIP archive. I've had one that thought that "SSD" was a kind of RAM, and insisted on installing Windows on a hard drive. I've had one that couldn't grasp the idea of 2FA. I've had one that only had a single copy of his dissertation and lost all of it when Bitlocker ate the disk.

Organic intelligence is going extinct, I swear.

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[–] RicoBerto@piefed.blahaj.zone 31 points 4 days ago

I had a computer class that was fairly self guided, do projects and tell the facilitator how it's good for community or whatever. All I would do when she walked by is go to hackertyper and tell her I was coding.

So yes.

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[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Starts modded Minecraft modpack. full screen starting logs. H4ck3rm4n

[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 54 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I doubt the parents called the police on OP for hacking. Parents just get angry or ground their kids for "hacking".

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 35 points 4 days ago (3 children)

"Breaking the new computer", to paraphrase my parents.

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[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 24 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wait, you're saying this is fake?

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[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 30 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Omg same experience. Bruh I just wanted to watch some youtube on my break but I had to update firefox or smtn and my coworkers thought I was hacking the wifi lolol

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[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 49 points 4 days ago (2 children)

There’s a program at my job that has a black background and a lot of the commands are written in lines similar to cmd.

It’s a lot more streamlined now but I use to have to do a lot in there and people would often gather behind me to see what I was doing. I guess it looked like I was hacking because I would type for about a bit and hit enter then start typing again. Literal csi hacking type shit

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 40 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I mean yeah, half of CSI hacking is

Tree

I'm in!

Sudo dnf update

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[–] voodooattack@lemmy.world 29 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] ArsonButCute@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Always keep a GUI tool for the job in case of normies.

I just don't go outside so I can use the terminal all I want

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[–] TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 29 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Can't decide. Is this green text fake and gay or real because it sounds like it could happen to me?

[–] Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 34 points 4 days ago (5 children)

While I doubt it went as far as the parents calling the police, way back when I was in high school, my friend got banned from the computers for "hacking" because he used the command prompt to control the computer instead of just the GUI.

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[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 21 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

This shit is how people turn into supervillains.

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