this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2025
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
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Be me.
Go to school
Everyone else in my class counting on fingers
Pull out Abacus
Crowd immediately forms
"Hey guys! He's doing multi-variable calculus over here!!!"
Smile smugly. Don't these kids know the abacus has been around for 3000 years?
Teacher tells me to stop cheating. Accuses me of black magic
Just laugh. Calculate pi to 100 places. People running out of the room screaming and crying.
Sent to principle's office. Principle amazed by my technological expertise. Nominates me for Head Boy.
Ministry of Magic sends down delegation to investigate my new kind of wizardry
Correctly estimate the future national gross domestic product for the next two quarters
Voldemort appears and tries to steal my device
Perfectly calculate the circumference of his head. Voldemort banished to the shadow realm for 10,000 years.
Everyone cheers
Open the door, get on the floor. Everybody walk the dinosaur
True story
I chuckled. Thank you.