If you pay 12 bucks for 4 strips of bacon, you deserve to be scammed by the world's one of the cringiest man to exist.
this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2025
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It's actually 12 bucks for 12 strips of bacon but the other 8 are coming in an update (currently estimated for Q2 2026).
it's worth it if it's fried in beef tallow
Isn't all bacon fried in its own pork tallow? 
yeah but beef tallow is the most unwoke and redpilled kind, so they have to use it
Imagine never growing as a person. Just totally stuck in silly cultural shit from almost 20 years ago.
Me when le narwhal bacons at midnight...FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
updooting this epic post
Thanks for the epic gold kind stranger! This rulz!
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Doge. Epic bacon. Kek. Let that sink in.
This man is trying to drag you back to a time where he was popular. By force.
COME OUT, WE GOT YOU SURROUNDED, WAIT 11 HOURS AT THE BAZINGA DINER!
I HATE THE WEST I HATE THE WEST I HATE THE WEST I HATE THE WEST 
The only vegan option on the menu is the salad, if we assume they serve the only listed dressing on the side.
The club sandwich appears to have two strips of bacon and you get a whole club sandwich on top of that for $15. So Tesla diner logic is that a club sandwich costs the same as the $9 grilled cheese (using the same bread so that’s removed as cost differential) if you subtract the cost of the bacon.
These things are all absurd, but the funniest part is they offer wagyu chili. They took a type of beef that is considered premium for its unaltered flavor and texture….and made chili. They seasoned the out of the flavor and cooked out the texture.
The general pricing thing with the bacon is an extreme version of what all restaurants do to a point, but they went too far and made it obvious. Drinks are always a huge huge margin, especially if its not booze, fries and bread are like maybe a bit over a quarter in food cost per portion. You use the high value stuff to bring em in so they buy the low value stuff for a lot while you got em. But you gotta balance it right so you don't give the game away so blatantly.
Im trying to go meat eater brain regarding that chilli, if I recall waygu beef has a really high fat content. That is gonna split so hard in tomato sauce that it may even float to the top and harden overnight in the fridge. There is a reason even top tier places don't grind up prime cuts to make s burger, its fucking pointless or detrimental to the final product.
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Reminds me of Jordan Peterson's recipe for A5 Kobe beef:
Take fresh steak, throw it in the freezer, pull it out, put into an air fryer at and bake at 450°F/230°C until medium in the inside, drain the rendered fat, make an """au jus""" with water and salt.
For a man who subsists almost entirely on beef, he's horrendously bad at cooking it.
(Sorry for the Reddit tier shit but it’s real) I initially misread that as Jordan Peele because I’m hammered, and was like “A-tier bit, how did I miss that episode”. On second glance, Benz is are the devil and JP is the Antichrist. Not only for this, but damn it’s a strong argument.
These things are all absurd, but the funniest part is they offer wagyu chili. They took a type of beef that is considered premium for its unaltered flavor and texture….and made chili. They seasoned the out of the flavor and cooked out the texture.
hell yeah that is epic. everyone know wagyu is the best beef. i don't eat meat and I still know that. so, of course it would make the best chili. i hope they have an otoro tuna melt as well
What’s the vegan equivalent in your opinion? Deep frying a small batch nut cheese? Boiling a premium king oyster mushroom? Making a seasoned to hell tomato sauce with high-grade heirlooms?
The thing about vegan cooking is it tends to be low waste, so I’m drawing a blank on anything 1:1 in terms of total ingredient abuse.
Buying 30 year old Macallan to mix with generic brand cola in a red solo cup.
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As someone who was raised vegan my answer is just the sad way the majority of vegans make tofu
Seriously just watch a few Chinese cooking videos at least, Chinese people have been cooking with tofu as an ingredient for like 1000 years and they know what they're doing
Stop following the failed recipes of white hippies from the 70's because the entire foundation of information that westerners are using to cook tofu is wrong
Tofu wants to be cubed, tofu wants to be fried, tofu wants to be used in soups, tofu does not want to be scrambled or blended into a sauce
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The cybertruck bacons at midnight (baconing is slang for spontaneously combusting).
get out of here with your facts and logic, it's almost as if elon is freakin epic amazeballs! 😂🤣
your comment has personally insulted me and we must now engage in fisticuffs
it’s an honor to duel a distinguished gentlethem and scholar such as yourself tips hat 🕵️
It's amazing anyone would hold onto this form of early internet speak. By 2014 it was already considered cringe. On a post in /r/outoftheloop someone explains the "narwhal bacons at midnight" thing and someone replies "This is like looking back at our childhood and cringing at the stupid stuff we did. " And. that was ELEVEN years ago!
https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/296nrm/deleted_by_user/
What's even more embarrassing is that Elon wasn't a teenager back then, he was like 40.
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This may be the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen, jesus christ
I'm sorry but if your bacon is hard enough to stand up straight in a carton of fries like that then it's horrifically overcooked.
I can burn 4 strips of bacon at home without paying $12
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2011 wants its memes back.
tesla diner.....
taking your grok-powered AI GF to the tesla diner where you can share a ketamalt milkshake and some epic bacon dipped in awesomesauce
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the more clever move, from a business and marketing standpoint, would be to cross-promote & partner with an existing chain of diner-type fast casual places like sonic or whatever and have fast chargers installed there to connect the brands in Tesla drivers' minds that they can get "recharge" at that place. especially a place that has a big national footprint, but maybe isn't "premium" to cast a wide net across demographics.
because a car manufacturer having a one-off diner is fucking stupid as shit. let me get a Chevy Hamburger with a Corvette Chocolate Shake.
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The only thing I can think about is that you could get a large package of bacon for that price.
Also, Tesla diner?
$4.99 a pound at my store so you can get more than one.
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Is that picture A.I.-generated?
The thought of eating that shit is vile and it also costing 12 dollars is fucking insane lmao
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Wow, $2 worth of bacon grilled by an un showered 17 year old that gets paid in meme coins with 500% market and I need to buy a fuck ass car to have this experience
tfw no narwhal on the package 
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