this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2025
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What’s the vegan equivalent in your opinion? Deep frying a small batch nut cheese? Boiling a premium king oyster mushroom? Making a seasoned to hell tomato sauce with high-grade heirlooms?
The thing about vegan cooking is it tends to be low waste, so I’m drawing a blank on anything 1:1 in terms of total ingredient abuse.
Buying 30 year old Macallan to mix with generic brand cola in a red solo cup.
The same part of my brain that idly notes that I could jump into a busy street if I wanted to is wondering what that would taste like.
About the same as a jack and coke at that point
Throw tomatoes at anyone who does this wtf. You win.
I remember going to the party of a friend of a friend who came from money. He was in his early 20s. He busted out a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue and poured everyone shots. Then he cracked open a Red Bull and poured out little chasers for everyone. I was planning to sip mine since thats like a $150-200 bottle, so I was pretty whatever about it. Then before I could even process what was happening, he poured the shots into the Red Bulls and handed them to us. I looked at the drink in my hand with great dismay.
Johnny Walker Blue in and of itself is a tell. There are many better whiskys and whiskeys at that price point, but JW has the better name recognition.
As someone who was raised vegan my answer is just the sad way the majority of vegans make tofu
Seriously just watch a few Chinese cooking videos at least, Chinese people have been cooking with tofu as an ingredient for like 1000 years and they know what they're doing
Stop following the failed recipes of white hippies from the 70's because the entire foundation of information that westerners are using to cook tofu is wrong
Tofu wants to be cubed, tofu wants to be fried, tofu wants to be used in soups, tofu does not want to be scrambled or blended into a sauce
Im gonna scramble tofu and put it in breakfast burritos and im gonna love it.
Is it the best way to enjoy tofu? No. Is it the best way to make a breakfast burrito? Yes.
pressing it between stacks of books (just buy pressed tofu if that's what you want)
coating it in cornstarch and spices
in europe you can even buy tofu marinated with basil and tomato (???)
i love all kinds of tofu though, even the occasional scramble and cream cheese, but i think to get your tofu drivers license you should have regular tofu dishes (卤豆腐, 家常豆腐, 铁板豆腐, even the in the west so often misunderstood 麻婆豆腐) before you start doing some western shenanigans
the first tofu I liked was used as a replacement for scrambled eggs. No idea how they did it, but shit was good.
using a premium miso and some virgin coconut oil to make a cultured butter, and then using that butter to fry a supermarker sliced bread sandwich
getting the first fresh tender spring bamboo shoots and cutting them up for hot and sour soup
taking a high-grade craft soy sauce and mixing it up with sweaty onion powder, smoked paprika and le epic nutritional yeast to make a marinade for tvp steaks
idk i enjoy making weird stuff when cooking but i can see epic vegan youtube cooks doing all of these
Using Kashmiri saffron as kindling to roast a marshmallow
Thanks for my next meal prep ideas /jk
Those were horrific. Esp. The bamboo shoots since I can’t fresh here.