For the unawares, the original comic said "DANGER!"
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Me (a man):
Wakes up... "Hmmm. I really have to pee."
My brain: "Horny! HORNY NOW!"
Me: "What?! No! Why??? Ughhh!!"
New version with more pixels and not cropped
newer version with less pixels and cropped
So about two years ago, my libido switched to working not at all. Its previous stage was working-half-assed for most of my adult life. Psych-meds were (and probably still are) a factor.
I kinda hoped it's going to be wheeee! I'm ace! GARLIC BREAD!
Alas, no.
But I now have two noteworthy phenomena:
The first is I'll look at something erotic. Usually porn. There's lots of porn available, and my brain goes this is important. It means something to me and tries to decipher it like a 70s era acid rock album cover or a Salvador Dali painting. It's not titillating... not quite. It's like someone gave me a post-hypnotic suggestion years ago and I accidentally came across the triggering image, but that subconscious code is faint and sepia now and gives me strange impulses.
The other phenomenon is when my brain goes HORNY and I'll look at porn and it skips right over it. HORNY! It's like the zombies deciding Homer Simpson doesn't have enough brains to be interesting, there's no sexy in these curves. Nor these. Nor these. Everything is all wrong! This is super frustrating, and sometimes I'm compelled to keep looking for the stimulus that has the right pins in the right order to turn the lock.
I understand Leon now, Nothing is worse than having an itch you can never scratch!
Sadly this was a factor in my separation with my wife. We still see each other once a week for dinner. It's a zesty blend of complicated and tragic, the kind that happens while ~~society collapses~~ Titanic sinks.
that's rough but as a stranger I appreciate the insight, what about meds ie: viegra ?
Viagra and Cialis worked when I was younger and probably would work still. But they're not covered by Medicare-D and are very expensive to purchase.
Not wholly off the table, though, if we get lucky and find a source.
i feel this is usually a bigger problem when you have a dick.
I have a sample size of one trans friend who started taking male hormones and felt it completely overwhelming. He was absolutely astounded by how intense it was for months on end until he felt he built up some mental fortitude.
Clearly, itβs not an ideal comparison, and personal experiences are highly individual but I found their experience interesting.
as another trans guy i can confirm, T took my libido from "mid, horny sometimes" to "I GET HORNY EVERY DAY AND IF I DON'T FIX IT I LITERALLY CANNOT FOCUS", in the span of like, no time, literally started with the first or injection
welcome to the club my man. don't get me wrong it can be annoying but I'd rather have a never ending boner for the rest of days than have one period. I'm cis so I've never experienced it myself but i have enough women friends (and a wife) to know i wouldn't want it for a day.
lmao same, dysphoria was the strongest during periods i hated them with a burning passion. T just made them stop, which is amazing.
Welcome to the party dude, this starts at age 12ish and (so far) never ends.
oh ya dw, i've been on T for 7 years now, i have it mostly under control. apart from the times when it just doesn't seem to be going away, body parts already sore, brain still says horny, those days areβ something
Oh I know those days all too well lol!
Though ime there is no "control," just "I will face my horny, I will permit it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone past I will turn my inner eye to see it's path, where the horny has gone there will be nothing, only I will remain." So lucky you lmao!
I must not fap. Fapping is the little death that brings total ownage. And chafing.
I've recently had to start hormone replacement. Apparently my T levels were so low I was getting clinically depressed. So I went from half the minimum testosterone levels to slightly above the maximum. Now, I've always had a weirdly high libido, and I was afraid I'd have to turn into a recluse. In fact, the opposite happened. I had barely any libido left. I'd jerk off just to test if things even worked, and everything was fine, but it was like I was in constant post-nut clarity. I hated it. I didn't feel myself anymore, and having focus and clarity while all this shit is happening in the world... Like, the hormones did help with the depression a little bit, but it was offset by the otherness I am feeling.
Anyway, this rambling is my way to relate, in a way. You went through puberty of sorts, and I'm going through a reverse one. I am having to get to know myself again, unsure as to what is happening to my body, and dealing with the occasional zit.
BTW, Instead of injecting T, the doctor attempted (successfully!) to kickstart my internal production with a drug that stimulates FSH production, which, in XY equipped hardware, boosts testosterone production. AMAB bodies normally deal with excess T by converting it to estrogen. To avoid that, another drug that blocked it was added. I found it curious how the same messengers are used by both sexes, sometimes with the same outcome, sometimes with completely different outcomes.
I would be fascinated to talk to this person. As a straight cis male dude guy, this is just all day, every day. It'd be like hearing someone describe the sun who's never been outside before in their whole life.
thanks for sharing; it's wildly interesting! he's one of a small number of people who can speak for two different modes of physical/hormonal makeup.
I'm a woman and I disagree
it's not exactly the same as a full understanding but my transmasc friends labido in the first year of T was much worse than my first year of E (so far atleast).
The labido of a teenage boy is fucking INTENSE, all they do is think with their dick (well not in my friends case lol). However my emotion regulation is WAYYYY worse than his was, I am a blob of emotionally distraught tears.
neither of us would get off HRT for the world though.
yeah but now i have two people with reference points to both feminine and masculine hormonal makeup that agree with my assumption so I'm gonna believe them more...
... not because they have unique perspectives but because they reaffirm my previously held beliefs
Thats perfect. I accept
that's a common belief, but it varies a lot by individual, with many women having higher sex drives than men
i actually wasn't talking about men vs women; i was talking about having a dick vs not, specifically because of having to deal with a boner during the day... but apparently some trans people who start taking T can get overwhelmed with how much it horns them up so i don't know; maybe it's anecdotally true even.
other than that I've always believed it's (at least mostly) social conditioning though.
edit: i got too excited to clarify that i forgot to check your link before i responded. i gotta say it's not really challenging the idea (that I wasn't trying to suggest originally).
first of all it says
On average, men have higher sex drives, but about a third of women have a higher sex drive than the average male.
so it's already suggesting that it's not a myth.
second of all the way it phrases things seems to target people who don't understand what averages are: it gives as an example on average men are taller but there are women who are taller than men. well duh... that's how averages vs exceptions work. that doesn't mean "neither is taller, it's totally random" it still means men are taller on average.
of course if the rates it gives are true, the exception being a third of women is quite significant.
i was talking about having a dick vs not, specifically because of having to deal with a boner during the day...
Actually this is really good place to share the knowledge I'm too embarrassed to share irl!!
I'm trans (MTF) and it doesn't really happen randomly the same way it did before hormones. The only time I get an erection is when I try to, and even then sometimes it's difficult π₯².
You are essentially required* to masturbate 1 or 2 times a week or else the tissue will disintegrate due to not being used, 'morning wood' is what the body does naturally to stop this but on Estrogen it doesn't happen. Some choose to apply testosterone gel to help in this, but it hasn't been an issue for me.
Also with decreased labido it's really easy to forget about it and apparently hurts when you do it again which I'm kinda scared of tbh.
*'required' is subjective, but it's not really reversible and also a working penis is ideal for getting bottom surgery and most people want to have good chances for bottom surgery ...also sex too lol
There are a few clarifications I would like to make:
Having an erection does not require the person to have sex, and is not the same as being horny or desiring sex.
Having a penis does not guarantee you have erections (let alone involuntary erections, which is what you seem to be talking about). People with penises who are testosterone dominant do have involuntary erections, but even so, see my first point for why that's not relevant.
Your claim was about being horny being a bigger problem for people with penises, which is a fair assumption but has more to do with testosterone than the penis (like you've pointed out, trans men can be very horny without a "penis" - though it should be noted here that male and female genitalia are more similar than dissimilar and have the same structures of a phallus and glans, just in different configurations).
so itβs already suggesting that itβs not a myth.
The myth is the belief that men are horny while women are not, the reality is that it varies significantly by person. with significant overlap between the sexes. There is a difference on average, but it's not as large or total as people commonly believe.
And finally, as you have pointed out the social context will skew the data significantly with fewer women being comfortable with sex than men, fewer women having learned to masturbate than men, and fewer women willing to discuss or disclose their sexual feelings or behavior than men. These differences in how sex is treated socially means whatever biological differences there are is muddled, especially when what was measured was self-reporting on frequency of masturbation. It's possible that men and women are far more similar than dissimilar than even the current evidence we have points to.
The researchers propose to measure affect in terms of how easily you get aroused when faced with a sexual stimulus or situation. Likewise, behavior involves the frequency of sexual acts. And finally, cognition has to do with how often you think about sex.
that's actually really interesting that there's different categories of sex drives
True. A good, safe environment will kickstart your baby making hormones into overdrive.
I thought it was the opposite: dangerous situations kicked the hormones into overdrive?
You're not going to believe this, but it can be both. For different reasons.
So, basically: always horny. That scans.
It's always horny time
Well then, it's a beautiful day to be horny I guess π€·ββοΈ
Coincidentally it's my birthday, so it's a beautiful horny day
happy birthday, ya horndog
In before the no-fap weirdos show up
you are no-fap because you have an unhealthy relationship to sex
i am no-fap because i plant to die like a male bee: nutting so hard my balls explode
we are not the same
But hornieness just improves any day!
Eh, depends on the person. I'm ace and don't really feel it mentally but my body will respond to things so I generally just find it to be an inconvenience. Though sometimes my partner and I get a good laugh about it because I'll not realize it sometimes and she'll notice before me.
Closer to my experience:
Real