man, when i was a kid i was bullied for reading at recess, or infodumping about inappropriate stuff, or being bad at running. kids these days are so materialist.
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Now you have to make fun of your kid for being a sheep.
Did you try to teach him to be proud of his independence and differences? Maybe you can work with him on nice come backs against the teasing.
As far as I remember (25 years ago), this doesn't work. Kids just don't appreciate witty comebacks
It works if they're not comebacks, but actually hurtful insults.
They go hard, you go harder.
If anything they lean in and double down.
Comebacks dont matter when you can just point at the shoes and call him broke (im not a teen anymore but come on guys lol, thats when you fit in to avoid issues or have issues, no magical way out)
There is a way out, but it involves not caring what classmates think. That's a high bar for a lot of kids, especially in middle school. Kids have to come to that conclusion on their own. No amount of adults telling them "you shouldn't care" will change things.
By high school I found social success after not caring what others thought. But I had been bullied my whole school experience up til that point, so by high school I had run out of fucks to give. In other words, I learned the hard way, but that's something every teen has to figure out for themselves.
Is it even possible to not care at this age though? At this point school and interacting with your peers is a vast majority of your life. I don't think I have ever seen a kid being bullied every day at school and not caring. How can you not care if you're scared?
I guess it is possible as you get older, more mature and closer to adulthood. But for a kid in a primary or middle school? Kinda hard to imagine for me.
Oh, it's absolutely possible, but only after experiencing such abuse and isolation that you come to prefer your own company.
The last straw for me came when I finally stood up to my so-called "best friend," who acted perfectly sweet when we were alone, but who threw me under the bus whenever my bullies were around. Our families were (and sadly, still are) friends, so I'd known her since she was born and there was a lot of social pressure for us to hang out together. She abused me constantly and loved to fuck with my head. I figured that if that was the "best" friend I could have, then I didn't need friends at all. One day on the bus home, shortly after she'd spread yet another rumor about me, I called her a traitor and a backstabber.
She immediately turned to the bullies sitting behind us (whose hobbies included talking about me, stealing my stuff, and putting gum in my hair) and said, "That's so funny! She just called me a traitor!" Yep, I was done.
That was in my last year of middle school. Going into high school, I was resolved to not give a fuck what anybody said about me. I decided to stop trying to change myself to fit in. I embraced my own interests without a care what anybody would say.
And that first year of high school was when I ended up making actual, real friends for the first time. People who actually get me. The payoff was huge and still benefits me today, but it came at a great cost during my most impressionable age.
Yes, if they have already figured out how to handle bullies in grade school/middle school. Early grade school there was a bully who picked on me and my older brother helped out. By grade five I was the one helping other kids who were being bullied.
A lot of credit goes to youth groups like 4-H for helping to build self confidence and how to care for others. May have been lucky getting a solid local group though.
I don't know about now, but back in the 90s the magical out was that you punched them in the face.
Back then the concept of a school shooting didn't exist, and parents didn't threaten to sue the school every 5 minutes.
So teachers would just let the fights go.
"Oh, Billy tried bullying Bobby, and now Bobby punched Billy in the face? Eh....call me when they break bones and spill blood. I'm going to go make popcorn."
These days? I'm sure both kids would get expelled.
Yep. I was poor and weird but I was also 6 foot tall and pretty big. Its amazing what one really good punch to the face of someone does to your rep for the rest of high school.
But it’s not “his independence” if it wasn’t his choice to buy those shoes. You cannot be proud of your own choices when they weren’t your own choices.
That's actually a really good point you've made here. It's easy to defend the shoes as a parent because you're the one who (1) understands the rationale behind buying them and (2) made the decision to buy them
I wonder if a good decision in this scenario is to just give the child a shoe allowance and let them pick. If they want Nike's they will have to find a pair that fits the budget
he could be but hes gonna get roasted for sketchers til college probably
When I was young (in the late 80's) it was Air Jordans.
But, on top of being teased for not having them, you would also get jumped by kids who wanted to steal them from you.
I tried, His Mom agreed and already bought him shoes.
One of mine is in high school, and as much as I hate the confirming culture, especially because it's led by morons and marketing, I choose the same path. I allowed my (now high school kid) to participate in all the awful crap that I would never do myself when she felt middle school pressure. She was in the popular kids group.
The caveat has been it all comes with extreme education from my end. Not demeaning or condescending. I over-preach about marketing/ads/influencers and constantly question why people make the choices they do. I question everything though. "How do you know that?" often leads back to tick tock.
In my experience, the OTHER kids are now getting smarter as they age. Mine is now able to live her life how she wants and is still with that same group , and the kids (I shit you not) look to her for purchasing advice. The vanity kinda goes away as their brains leave that dumb social hierarchy age.
Note: My kids are/were decked out in Nike. We live by the world headquarters and a good chunk of the kids' parents work there. If that isn't peer pressure, I dunno what is!
It's the Apple way.
Nike doesn't sell proprietary shoe laces that only work with nike shoes. Or sell gloves that pair with the shoes, so if you wanted to switch shoes you'd also have to get new gloves. Apple is awful for very different reasons
I always had Chucks, not because I didn't wanna get teased mind you I just thought they were cool. Kids teased me for different things anyway.
But man, they never really lasted that long. One to one and a half years of daily use, and they doubled in price in the last ~15 years (which maybe isn't that much but I feel the quality went down a bit).
I remember being 4 or 5 back in the 70s, my mom tried to put me in Converse, I refused to wear them calling them "clown shoes". LOL.
I feel vindicated.
Yeah, ever since Nike bought the lot they've been a bit mad with the designs...
I've always liked the style of chucks, but yeah. They fall apart faster than wet tissue paper.
I remember when high tops were in vogue. Granted, I hung out with kids in the "alternative music" scene, and Vans sponsored Warped Tour so much that "Vans Warped Tour" was just a normal term for us.
Good for you. Whenever I get this kind of situation with ny kid I think "Will this matter in five years? Will this purchase break the bank?" If not, I buy/allow/rent whatever and move on. It usually does the trick and I don't mind if in my mind it sounds ridiculous or exaggerated, It is not about me but whatever they are going through and as long as they get the tools they need, so be it. Kid is very down to earth and doesn't usually overconsume. The only place where we overspend is the bookstore.
Kid could toughen up a bit. Having your shoes made fun of is such a small insignificant thing. It's probably one of the best options out there, given it's not actually even about you. I can guarantee if the kid did not react to the teasing, they would find someone else to pick on. Who seriously cares about shoes?
I love Skechers.
I’ll tease my kids if they don’t wear Asics
You should go out of your way to ensure you always have replacement sneakers for them, and not a single pair should be Asics.
Why not?
At my school back when I was still in education it was all adidas :3
Get him Hokas, tell him that’s what the rich actually wear.
Nike marketing aside, sketchers are child abuse.
dont blame nike, blame the over-consumption introduced by unchecked capitalism. Comparing yourself to your surround has become the norm, leading to an increase in depression and, like you wrote, consuming too much. Americans on average buy 68 new clothing items PER YEAR, PER PERSON!! Maybe dont blame the kids, they are a product of their surrounding. Blame politics, and blame yourself if you have done too little politics in the last decades
Do blame Nike, and all the other corps, they are the ones who force capitalism on us, they are the cause of this behaviour, they control the politics.
I get your point, but capitalism wasn't always the norm. If you say corps control everything, it's partially due to a faulty political system and a lack of interest in politics. And for that apathy, the citizens can absolutely be blamed. And again, if there wasn't a superficial culture in the US where you HAVE to wear brands and drive european cars to not be ousted, there wouldnt be as much consumption. If you treat school like a cat walk, prepare to pay for designer clothes. The parent in the original post blames Nike for marketing. Yes, but if the kids around their kid weren't pointing and laughing, this kid would feel very confortable to continue to wear sketchers. Kids are a product of their environment, bring them up in a ultra-capitalist environment and all they care about growing up is money and status. And it starts in school already. Group thinking is hugely problematic and not even thematized yet. This ousting because your parents can't afford G-Star Raw is the only reason I would advocate for school uniforms. Something has to change but just pointing and assigning blame isn't helping anyone and especially not the kid crying.
Nike is one of the worst offenders when it comes to unchecked capitalism.
Nice