Sell consulting services. Doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, what matters is that you're paid. : microblogmemes

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 5 points 1 hour ago

And if you are wondering why the German military is being made fun of so much: it's McKinsey again. But no worries, we took care if it. The minister of defense in charge back then is long gone. Cause she is the president of the European Commission now. Multiple of her children have worked for McKinsey in the past. What a coincidence!

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 20 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

All consulting is like this. It’s a way to offload blame for your decisions by not making any in-house.

[–] VetOfTheSeas@discuss.online 1 points 1 hour ago

Sounds like they still get paid then!

[–] merdaverse@lemmy.world 24 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

From my (fortunately) brief experience in software consulting, I can confirm that is an important unwritten rule of the job. It doesn't matter what exactly you sell to customers, as long as they are willing to buy it and come back. It explains why a lot of software is dogshit.

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 3 points 2 hours ago

"I can't produce anything, so I'll take money away from other people doing business" ~consultants

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 60 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (3 children)

TLC used to be The Learning Channel. Before it was “here’s a bunch of children who are being sexually abused behind the camera,” it was educational outreach. Vocational training. Satellite college courses for people in Alaska and Appalachia.

Then Discovery bought it. Fuck Discovery.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago

Yep. I thought for ages that it was a spinoff of discovery but no, it was a whole thing that went back to the 80s. After Discovery acquired it blam.

[–] brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 13 hours ago

One of my favorite channels. I liked learning new stuff. Factual stuff. Not conspiracy theories disguised as history.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 8 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Why do I associate TLC with, like, Trading Spaces and other domestic not-quite-a-game shows like that? Am I conflating it with something else? Also I haven't had "television" in decades now.

[–] VetOfTheSeas@discuss.online 4 points 1 hour ago

It used to be PBS for adults. I remember turning it on and there would be a documentary about like piano players and the connection to the brain.

Went down hill thanks to reality TV.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 22 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

Because that’s the slop it turned into. It was a place for documentaries and educational content, just like MTV used to have music. But watching Kate torment her brood of children or Honey BooBoo eat sketti makes the kind of money airing a college lecture doesn’t.

[–] fishy@lemmy.today 2 points 2 hours ago

This kind of content taking off and the popularity of the Kardashians were the proverbial canary in the coal mine for the intellectual apocalypse we're dealing with now. We are what we eat, and what you watch absolutely influences how you think and act.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 17 points 12 hours ago

Legends.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 49 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

In, fire 30 percent of the workforce, new logo, boom, out.

You are now a fully trained management consultant.

[–] Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 10 points 7 hours ago

Lean leader certified

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 64 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (4 children)

"What's your advice?"

"My advice is to not take my advice. That'll be 63 million dollars, please."

[–] MyNameIsIgglePiggle@sh.itjust.works 19 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

"Certainly Sir! Money well spent!"

You have to understand why they are employed though - somebody stands to gain from doing some thing, so the way they get to justify doing that thing is to hire these people, so they come in, deliver a report that says the thing is the best thing to do with graphs that go up, and it happens, McKinsey gets paid, the beneficiary gets what they want and life goes on.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 10 points 8 hours ago

That plus there's a massive incentive for overpaid executives to farm out any actual decision-making to consultants. They could lose their cushy jobs if they did something unpopular that made the news and hurt stock prices. But if the decision was promoted by an expensive consulting firm, that launders the blame. It hurts the business in a fundamental way, obviously, but publicly traded companies have not been very focused on fundamentals up until lately. Tighter monetary policy should have changed this, but the paradigm has been slow to shift for many.

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[+] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 1 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

[deleted]

[–] Kazel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

McKinsey is a company not a single guy

[–] burgerpocalyse@lemmy.world 7 points 6 hours ago

thats what they want you to think

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 hours ago

Please ignore what i said.

[–] JustJack23@slrpnk.net 142 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Consulting services are vital because they improving corporate synergy by utilizing market solutions and relocating potential where it is needed most.

[–] fullsquare@awful.systems 42 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

[–] Rookwood@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 hours ago

I know it's a joke, but executive and analyst are oxymorons in the corporate world.

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 86 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

Don’t forget that they also leverage institutional assets to extract value using best practices!

[–] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 45 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

We'll circle back to that.

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 23 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Can I talk to you offline?

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[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 163 points 20 hours ago (5 children)

Well, consulting is often used because they need an answer to a question. That may be open-ended like:

"What moves should we make to expand our business?"

But other times they just want confirmation:

"Should we merge with Discovery?" (Sure, I guess. Here are some reasons you could. cha-ching)

"Should we split with Discovery?" (Sure, I guess. Here are some reasons you could. cha-ching)

Other times they just need to pay people to give them excuses to lay off people. McKinsey's always available for that.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 110 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (2 children)

When Chipotle got a new CEO (Brian Niccol, who has since become the Starbucks CEO) a few years back, they were headquartered in Denver. But the CEO lived in Newport Beach. So they brought in a consulting management firm to examine where the best place in the country was for them to have their corporate headquarters.

After weeks of analysis - surprise, surprise - they determined that the best place they could possibly have a corporate headquarters was in Newport Beach, where the CEO lived.

So they fired most of their corporate workers and moved the office to be closer to the CEOs house.

[–] BossDj@lemm.ee 20 points 15 hours ago

I have experienced this where I work. There is a consulting company that gets rolled out to make packets full of "data", graphs, summaries, and surveys that always manages to support the unpopular thing the boss wants.

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 56 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

“Sorry we don’t do remote work and you’ll have to come into the office.”

“Counterpoint: …”

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 20 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

Starbucks has a mandatory 3 day a week RTO policy, but this same CEO did not relocate from Newport beach to Seattle.

Instead, he has the corporate private jet fly him 2000 miles round trip every week.

[–] neomachino@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 10 hours ago

Seems like a solid solution. Why doesn't everyone just do that?

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 49 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

McKinsey:

For when you have no fucking clue how to do your job, and want authoritative, plausible deniability about that.

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[–] Thunderbird4@lemmy.world 24 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Sounds like a job that would be easy to replace with ChatGPT.

[–] gabelstapler@feddit.org 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Guess what the guys an McKinsey are doing...

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 56 points 20 hours ago (4 children)

Other times they just need to pay people to give them excuses to lay off people. McKinsey’s always available for that.

What would you say... you do here?

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[–] sepi@piefed.social 28 points 15 hours ago (6 children)

Isn't the google ceo a McKinsey stooge?

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

So is Buttigieg, but sharing that information seems to be unpopular.

[–] aramova@infosec.pub 22 points 15 hours ago

Yes, he is. It explains a lot.

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[–] KarlHungus42@lemmy.world 53 points 18 hours ago

They've developed a perpetual consulting loop. Genius.

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 14 points 14 hours ago

Fuck McKinsey.

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