this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
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Since according to Bill Ackman the presence of a place you can buy eggs without a 100% markup is going to plunge NYC instantly into a Mad Max / Escape from New York style hellscape, what gangs are we all joining?

Personally I'm thinking the one of slightly sexy cultists who worship bodega cats.

How about you comrades?

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Man I hope NYC turns into Necromunda

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 9 points 13 hours ago

Imma join the gang that worships gasoline and bullets... wait...

[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 38 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

I was going to say the Trans one, but it's New York, so there's probably a dozen Trans gangs like the Dolls, the Boy-moders and other less pleasant named ones.

So I guess maybe the Auto-Gynephiles who are lesbian street racers

[–] Quai@hexbear.net 16 points 15 hours ago

In my head, Boy-Moders and Boy-Modders are rival gamgs

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 31 points 18 hours ago

So I guess maybe the Auto-Gynephiles who are lesbian street racers

That goes extremely hard.

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 22 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (2 children)

I want to be one of those generic goons from Double Dragon, or perhaps Final Fight or Streets of Rage

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 10 points 15 hours ago

I'm the guy who has to watch the mayor's daughter while the other goons go off to fight Guy and Cody.

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 10 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Whip type, flying kick type, punchy type, or big barrel through a crowd type?

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 11 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Livin' that Abobo life for sure

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 9 points 16 hours ago

Smoooooth.

And he is a canon New Yorker.

[–] abc@hexbear.net 22 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Whichever gang snaps their fingers menacingly as they do shit; I think they'd probably be fun to hang out with and gentlemen all around

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 12 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

"When you're a MiG you're a MiG all the way"

The MiGs could be made up of Mumdani InstaGram followers.

[–] abc@hexbear.net 18 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

actually i changed my mind i wanna be part of Butch's Tunnel Snakes

lenin-rage TUNNEL SNAKES RULE

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 11 points 16 hours ago

They do have cool jackets.

[–] GrafZahl@hexbear.net 18 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

I was typing out why each single of those points is wrong* but what's the point. This persons brain should be scientifically studied. Preferably in a jar.

*Edit: Ableisms

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 14 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 10 points 16 hours ago

With no street performance permitting the Hi Hats could run the city!

[–] roux@hexbear.net 12 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I'm already shitposting fodder as it is so I'll probably join the Buzzards.

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 9 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Whilst not being a Russian scavenger obsessed with echidnas, I am British and therefore allergic to the sun so I see the appeal of wrapping up and living underground mostly.

[–] roux@hexbear.net 8 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not gonna pull up the wiki but I believe the canon is that they all live in a sunken city or airport and that's why they have access to all the car parts which provides trade and barter networks. I'm just not quite ready to eat dog food and bugs.

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 7 points 16 hours ago

Yeah, they definitely live in a sunken city (airport too I think) and scavenge the parts from there. I can't remember why they're Russian or Russian-coded but I'm pretty sure that's right.

The echidna thing is just because of their spiky cars and that there's a fact on one of the commentaries that one of the cars has the exact number of spikes on it that an echidna has spines because someone in the fabrication team is a huge nerd.

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 22 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

The Warriors, of course. Mostly because I'm bad at rollerblading and applying clown makeup.

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 4 points 13 hours ago

you can join the baseball one

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 15 points 19 hours ago

Too much running. chomsky-yes-honey blob-sleep

I can dig it though.

[–] context@hexbear.net 17 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

my gang would be largely orthogonal to sexiness while making a big show of being irritated by bodega cats, yet discreetly giving out treats and scritches

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 12 points 18 hours ago

Former New York is a blighted land of contrasts and I'm here for it.

[–] sexywheat@hexbear.net 18 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

who worship bodega cats

I can get behind this.

Are bodega cats an actual thing in NYC?

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 20 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah. Sometimes they're owned by the owners, sometimes they're just happy to let them chill there each day because they keep pests and rodents away.

To be fair, lots of places have shop cats like that, especially in hot places where the cats use the shops and stall awnings to chill in the shade. I've been to towns in Turkey and Spain for example that have statues to infamous or long standing shop cats.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 14 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

The more social but slightly less menacing cousin of the infamous Barn Cat.

Barn cats are country cats. Shop cats are city cats.

City cats will fearlessly navigate crowded floors or even car traffic. Barn cats will bully animals 50x it's size. It's the same energy.

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