this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
118 points (97.6% liked)

chapotraphouse

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It started as a simple curiosity. I’d heard whispers about Hexbear.net—a leftist forum, a haven for the terminally online, a place where irony and sincerity blurred into something incomprehensible. "Just take a look," I told myself. "How bad could it be?"

The site loaded with a stark, minimalist design, a vaporwave aesthetic that felt oddly oppressive. The posts were a mix of memes, theory, and shitposts, all delivered with an intensity that made my skin prickle. Users spoke in a coded language, half-joking, half-deadly serious. I scrolled, laughing nervously at some of the weirder takes, but something felt… off.

Then I noticed it. The more I read, the harder it was to look away. The threads seemed to shift when I wasn’t paying attention, text rearranging itself just beyond comprehension. My vision blurred at the edges. The Stalin avatars started twitching in my peripheral vision. I tried to close the tab, but my fingers wouldn’t obey.

That’s when the whispers started. Not from my speakers, not from my headphones—from inside my skull. A chorus of distorted voices chanting slogans I couldn’t quite make out. My hands were sweating. My reflection in the monitor wasn’t mine anymore. Its eyes were hollow. Its mouth stretched too wide.

I tried to scream, but all that came out was a garbled, sloppy noise. My limbs felt stiff, my body compressing, folding in on itself. The screen’s glow enveloped me, pulling me closer. The last thing I saw before my vision failed was my own face—round, smooth, featureless, reddish brown—reflected back at me in the monitor.

I am bean now. The forum is my home. The posts are my thoughts. There is no escape. Join us. Become bean.

Become bean.

spoilerbeanis

top 23 comments
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[–] jack@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago

the benist uprising against the landgourds was the largest, most comprehensive poletarian revolution in history, leading to an almost totally equal redistribution of legumes amongst the benistry

[–] 666PeaceKeepaGirl@hexbear.net 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] LanyrdSkynrd@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

Beanis died for my sins

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 20 points 1 day ago

yeah sure ok

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 24 points 1 day ago

The Stalin avatars started twitching in my peripheral vision. I tried to close the tab, but my fingers wouldn’t obey.

stalin-heart

I Saw the Beanis Glow

A film by Jane Schoenbrun

[–] Losurdo_Enjoyer@hexbear.net 26 points 1 day ago (3 children)

c/~~bad~~beanisposting is around the corner and to the left

(on a side note why dont we have an emote of trump pointing from home alone lol)

I'm glad it's posted here because

  1. It's good
  2. I blocked badposting so I wouldn't have seen it if it were posted there
[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Yeah but since this is clearly a good post it doesn't belong there

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

It would be empty with moderation

[–] CarbonScored@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

And you're saying it isn't beanis?

[–] Parsani@hexbear.net 26 points 1 day ago
[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago

Well, someone’s been reading creepypastas again, it would seem. catgirl-smug

[–] Carl@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago

I'm disappointed that you didn't include peeing your pants into this excellent shitpost.

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 19 points 1 day ago

Awww yis it's esoteric beanis posting time!

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago
[–] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

.gif of Chihiro's parents turning to hogs in Spirited Away but the hogs are hastily pasted over with enlarged beanis emojis

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago

Beanimorphosis claims another one bean-think

[–] SweatySteven@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago

If you gaze long into an abeanis, the abeanis also gazes into you.

[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago

One of us, one of us

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

If you stare into the Beanis long enough

The Beanis Stares back beanis

[–] axont@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

what starts as bean must always become fart