This is why we can't have nice things
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
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I would have just gone with the obvious answer: telepathic will
Honestly, based genie. Instead of fucking you over by twisting your wish into something negative, he fucks you over by spending time on small details. At least the latter will likely result in something you actually want, whereas the former will probably suck.
These aren't small details, they are crucial details.
After all that I still get brittle bone disease!?!
What? You said you wanted your Bones less dense, do you know how much bone I had to remove to let you fly with hummingbird wings?
Can't be worse than boneitis.
Ah boneitis, my only regret
Probably an autistic genie. It's important to get the details right!
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He's a smart one. Upselling body-shrinking or reduced bone density and increased metabolism.
That's 3 wishes.
The original terms of the wish requested the ability to fly, not just wings. These are part and parcel to being able to fly with wings. Ergo, only one wish.
Well now, mortal. I understand your point but rules are rules.
He could have claimed so, but he's not a jackass genie.
Not picking telepathic will is the dumbest shit I've ever seen.
other peoples thoughts and goals bleed into your own without filter
given this genie's thoroughness your brain would have to be 100x as heavy
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Different folks, different strokes.
Welcome to 2025. Now that you've exited the rock and had a mild warm up, let's get you up to speed
Fair point.
I would have just taken telepathic will so that it just ends there.
Yeah why would you take wings over telekinetics that’s wild
Aesthetics? 🤷🏻♂️
Have fun putting on any sort of shirt.
You don't need a genie to get prop wings on your back.
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Sure, but what if telepathic powers somehow affect your brain chemistry or morphology? Aside, Would flying be like manipulating gravity or lifting yourself up with an "invisible hand"?
The gravity manipulation is much better if they are handing out options.
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In order to use telepathy, we'll need to add a new section to your brain. Would you like to shrink the other sections of your brain to make room, or would you like a bigger brain? Oh, you want a bigger brain? Well, now we need to expand your head. Would you prefer an egghead or do you want the whole thing to grow? It will also come at the cost of requiring more energy.
So.. You're saying I can eat more? Say no more!!
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Is that a deliberate conscience telepathic effort, or automatic unconscious reflex? (eg. Perhaps you don't want to accidentally hover or float in public.)
How much energy does telepathy use though?
ok well moving an object still requires energy, so you're gonna need the increased metabolism perk. We'll have to increase blood flow to the brain, oh and it'll need to be increased in mass a lot...how do you feel about a tall head?
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That's my kind of genie. I wonder if he'd be cool discussing the pros and cons of some of those choices.
Guys I got it.
I want a Green Lantern ring.
ring flys away looking for a worthy holder
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Wings? Nah, if I can't fly like Goku I don't want to fly at all.
dunno. inflating like a pufferfish and becoming a dirigible is cool too. i could go for that.
Thank you for that visual. I never realized the world needed Zeppelin Man.
As long as you don't become Hindenburg Man
So like, did you know if you jar farts you can still make blue darts with em
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I'm sure you mean grown up DBZ Goku, but I would 100% take a flying nimbus and putter around the skies on my little cloud buddy. Just remember to pack a parachute!
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As an engineer of sorts, this is every conversation that I have with clients, but comic lady answers waaaaaaaaaay better than most people lol.
Genie: What kind of bird?
Clients: I saw a very pretty bird once, I think it was in Europe. It had feathers and part of it was black.
Genie:.... Right.
Would it be possible to have telekinesis, and use the telekinesis to fly, like Mewtwo?
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The laws of physics are a bitch.
To steal an idea I had on something similar once, perhaps on an entirely different site, there's also where the wings come from in the first place, literally and figuratively.
The equivalent structure to a bird's wing in humans is the arm and hand. Does this new wing take the place of the forelimb as it does in birds or does the wisher necessarily become a six-limbed creature?
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