this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025
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If we MUST eat a entire bag of Oreos.

Which scenario is better?

  • Eat the entire bag in 30 minutes
  • Eat the bag slowly, and evenly throughout a day?

(page 2) 50 comments
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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Ehhh, I'd say that, on average and for most purposes, spread out is better.

Less of a hit to your system. No big blood sugar spikes, which reduces the worst aspects if swallowing an entire package to the minimum it gets.

That being said, expect digestive issues to linger. You've got a lot of fats, the coloring, and the sugars playing havoc with your guts.

Expect to need a lot of tooth brushing unless you just enjoy having plaque and acid build-up messing with your teeth.

But I'd say that the risks of big spikes in blood sugar are higher than those risks. It could, in the right circumstances, kill you. And the way some of the more recent information regarding the role of sugar in atherosclerosis, and maybe other cardiovascular illness, is looking, every big spike is whittling time off of your heart more than a bunch of little ones will.

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

One of the first things I did when I first moved out from my parents is eat a whole bag of Oreos for breakfast because I could.

It turns your poop black.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yup :)

I've had to clean up oreo poop lol.

A lot of older patients tend to get a "sweet tooth", and they'll go nuts on cookies and cakes.

Oreo poops aren't the worst poops, but they look bad and are super sticky.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 1 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Oreo poops aren't the worst poops, but they look bad and are super sticky.

What are the worst poops? Curry night?

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Wtf kind of cafeteria is serving these old people?

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[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I was thinking the opposite. The first one s a huge sugar hit, and every following one.

  • If you spread it out, your body efficiently digests them to maximize the sugar spikes, to maximize the calories absorbed to turn into fat
  • if you do them all in one sitting, you only get one sugar spike and much of the fat and sugar won’t even be digested
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[–] NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

for most purposes, spread out is better. Less of a hit to your system

The digestive system is not built for boredom.

It works best with lots of changes and irregularities. Single events of such stress are no problem at all (only many repeated events of the same stress are bad). The same goes for a day or two of staying hungry.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

Yeah, but it's also not meant to process a giant package of processed fats, levels of sugar we haven't had time to adapt to, or the colorant used that is known to irritate the bowel.

Which is why folks that go on a cookie spree like that end up constipated or loose and crampy. Which, yeah there's some folks that would be able to take a giant hit of junk like that without noticing it, but I've had to clean up the mess left by Oreos when patients would go crazy on them for one reason or another (often dementia, sadly).

No, it isn't going to kill you, or send you to the hospital purely by the digestive side of things, but it can fuck up your day lol.

Also, you're misrepresenting not only what I said, but what the digestive tract is "built" for. It doesn't actually benefit from irregularity of diet. It can handle it, but eating a fairly stable, non irritating diet keeps both the gut flora and the associated hormonal products produced in the intestines at a reliable operation. The more you disturb the system, the less stable the system. When it comes to gut flora and serotonin production in the gut, high sugar intake disrupts in a way that can have lingering effects; anything from a day to a week.

Don't mistake the difference between a varied healthy diet and shoving irritants down the pipes. They aren't the same thing.

[–] Solocore@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

Probably across the course of the day parts maybe faster than others

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You're eating those as a treat, not for your health. You probably know the negative impact that sugar and trans fats have, so if you're going to treat yourself, I'd say make sure to make it count.

Do you get more overall pleasure from a little bit of enjoyment throughout the day or from a lot of enjoyment for a short amount of time? Maybe half now and half later or tomorrow? That's how I decide how to eat/do stuff that I enjoy but know can negatively impact my health if I over do it.

If you do want to make it less unhealthy though, try to make sure they're not the only thing in your stomach and rinse your mouth after you're done eating them.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Eat them right before a big, protein heavy meal. The sugar will stimulate insulin production which will help to process more of the protein. And then have a couple for dessert.

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Huh, is that why I can't seem to find a non sweet protein powder?

[–] khannie@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

You can buy unflavoured whey concentrate or isolate in bulk for very cheap. I used to use it to make protein pancakes for breakfast all the time.

Nom nom nom.

Edit: I see you're vegan. Not sure I've seen unflavoured vegan ones.

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[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

U bastard. U just reminded me I have a KitKat to eat. Do I eat the entire thing or spread it over the day?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Is it already in the freezer and ready?

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[–] jet@hackertalks.com 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes! Both. And Second Kitkat

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Its one of those large blocks tho

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[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (3 children)

In a large bowl, combine 750ml of your closest booze and the Oreos. Use a potato masher to create a smooth yet chunky consistency. Best enjoyed naked while binge watching Bojack Horseman.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 3 points 21 hours ago

Around here, we just call that "Sunday".

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[–] sun_is_ra@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Its better not to eat entire bag of Oreo in one day but if you must then its better to spread it over the day to avoid creating large sugar spike in your body.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

You also won't upset your stomach as much if you spread it out.

[–] null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago

I don't think this is true unless you're diabetic.

For non-diabetics insulin will store all the glucose just fine. Even if you have an elevated level for several hours I don't think that's particularly problematic to your health. It's problematic to diabetics because their levels are elevated perpetually.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Smash them up and dump the crumbs into a glass. Now it's a drink and no longer subject to the tyrannical nutritional guidelines of the medical establishment, leaving you free to consume it as you please.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Or grind it into fine dust and sprinkle it into your tobacco, stupid!

[–] gac11@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I put about 5 (or sometimes 10) into a glass of milk then mash it up with a spoon. Makes a great smoothie. Hell that might be a good breakfast idea

[–] BigMikeInAustin@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No good story has ever started with, "I ate a bag of oreos over the course of a whole day. "

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that's how MLK started his speech

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago

Probably why he had all those dreams.

[–] BertramDitore@lemm.ee 17 points 1 day ago

Oh, we must.

If I had to choose between those options, I’d eat them slowly throughout the day.

But in reality, it’s two sittings: one row in the afternoon, and the rest at the unhealthiest of times, around 9pm.

[–] fum@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is my eternal struggle, with any type of biscuit.

I try to not eat the whole pack in one day, so eat some then close the pack. But inevitability I go back later and finish the rest!

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 4 points 1 day ago

The struggle is real! Sugar is its own reward, and its own punishment.

[–] moitoi@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 day ago

All at once so you can repeat it during the entire day.

[–] NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Better to eat it at once. Your system can work away the high blood sugar level and then go back to normal.

If you create high blood sugar again and again, it is stressful for your pancreas all day long. Do that often and you will get overweight, and then diabetes.

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Just commenting to say I love this question and the genuine attempts at answers. I'm going to ask a dietitian next chance I get

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Better to not buy dry stale cookies.

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The answer is to stagger it, rather than risk a sugar crash. Little and often and whenever you like

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

If you keep dosing, maybe you can keep that high going indefinitely and never have to come down.

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 3 points 21 hours ago

I like your thinking

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Buy smaller bags.

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