Droggelbecher

Something about there being a record of what I said that can be checked and rechecked as many times as wanted gives me mad anxiety. Like they can analyse just how weird I talk. With a phonecall, all that remains is memory, and that makes people way more inclined to give me the benefit of the doubt.

Sometimes I take half a day considering just how to address and sign an email. There's such intricate expectations there and no cues from them that would allow me to adjust as needed. It's just guessing with zero clues. At least when I get an immediate response to anything I say I can adjust as I go and kind of match their tone.

Don't get me wrong, I find calls stressful too, but at least the stressing is over when it's done. It's more of a ripping the band-aid off kind of stress. The barrier of actually doing it is higher, but at least i can't really spend all day putting my energy into it as I do with an email.

Hello skincare friends! Do any of you swim regularly?

I'm wondering how to synchronize my twice-weekly swimming sessions with my skincare routine. Chlorine is quite drying and can cause breakouts.

I usually do: am: Wash with water-sunscreen pm: wash with cleanser, retinol, moisturise (5 times a week) wash with cleanser, bha, rinse, moisturise (other 2 days)

How would you coordinate this with swimming? No bha on the swim days to avoid drying out too much? No retinol either to avoid breakouts?

I have noticed that my skin has been feeling more tight pretty much every day since I've started swimming.

If anyone has additional advice on preventing ear infections in eczema filled ears (ie the skin in the outer ear canal has eczema) when swimming, let me know!

TIA!

When my infant aged up to toddler, she immediately after aged up to child, etc, up to elder. I was worried she'd die, but she stopped there. Cas.fulleditmode let me age her back down to toddler, but still, wtf? Has anyone else got this bug?

Sorry it's a photo of a screen!

I see her every 2-3 weeks at the moment. I only mentioned the symptoms* that I know can be related to the disease I'm seeing her for. They apparently shouldn't be near as bad, according to the results of my blood test (she usually calls me a few hours to a day after the appointment to tell me the results). So now I have yet another health issue to figure out, yay!

Anyone willing to bet whether I'll be diagnosed as 'stressed' or 'skinny young woman' this time? Those were my diagnoses plenty of times when I described those symptoms. I'm not even a woman, so it comes with a little side dish of dysphoria.

*Light headedness and fainting to the point I don't feel safe standing too long (though walking is fine), extreme night sweats, very high heart rate and very low blood pressure

Training routine: 8k/50min once a week, 1-2 (usually 1) slower runs of 3k-ish.

Always at least 1 day rest, where I sometimes do light upper body workouts, sometimes nothing.

Longer run sometimes replaced by an alpine hike of a few hours. Walking of at least 3k, often more, almost daily. I've been doing the latter for years, been running somewhat consistently for ~8months.

Participating in a 10k in May.

I'm noticing some pain behind the upper edge of my patellae that tends to start around the middle or end of my longer runs and after a little while of hiking uphill. Since I'm pretty sure it's not muscle pain, I don't want to just push through it. Do I need to take a complete break from running? Do I even need to take a break from walking? If so, for how long? Or is it going to be enough to reduce mileage a bit? Do I need to start cross training more at this level already?

Thank you in advance!

Edit: just remembered, first time I felt it was during a 30k flat hike a few weeks back. It usually goes away overnight at the latest.

Please remove or tell me to delete if this isn't allowed!

I've been dual booting Ubuntu and Windows for a good few years now. I keep the windows around for gaming, because, ahem, I don't like giving EA, among others, money. I know it's not a problem to play most of the games I've paid for on Linux, but does anyone have experience with playing games on Linux that you've, somehow, obtained for free? And keeping them updated, too?

I'm still going to dual boot because keeping my games separate from my work is a decent adhd strategy for me, so I'm open to gaming friendly OS suggestions as well!

It's been pretty much exactly 20 years since a psychologist first suspected I have adhd. I finally got a Ritalin. The mixture of grief and elation I'm feeling is indescribable. I was robbed of so, so much in my teens and early-mid twenties, but I can finally begin to live my life.

Story if you want it: my mum took me to a child psychologist when I was 7 to get an opinion of whether it'd be a good idea that a skip a grade. I only know this because I overheard her telling it to friends as a funny story, and going like hahaha as if MY child is disabled/r-slur (where I live, people use disabled as a derogative, both for the disabled and as a generic one. Similar to how some people say gay as an insult. So, idk an accurate translation, it's inbetween). This was when I was maybe 12? I googled (at school, didn't have my own PC) and more or less concluded I have adhd, and that it wouldn't be safe or worthwhile to bring it up with mum.

As soon as I moved out (at about 19), I went to my GP about troubles focusing that I'd had my entire life. I think that's how I put it. She referred me to a neurologist and did bloodwork, but I never went, because the GP office gave the diagnostics and referral to my mum when she went to the office (it was her doc too; I've switched since). Mum gave me shit. My health insurance ran through her because I was a full time student, so, while it wasn't legal to show her my diagnoses, she would've seen what doctors billed my appointment through her insurance.

I struggled a bunch both with physical health and depression in my early twenties. So an adhd diagnosis wasn't the first of my worried. I did go to a psychologist who did a mini adhd test and concluded I had it. I must've been like 23? So I took her diagnosis to my psychiatrist who was treating my depression. Psychiatrist basically said that that's ridiculous, because I've graduated high school and even have a bachelors in a difficult area. I went back to the psychologist to get a recommendation for a new psychiatrist. Took about 3 years to get an appointment (not really their fault; they're suuuper booked out and kept telling me to call back in two weeks, and I kept forgetting because, well, adhd. I kinda just tried again every few months when i remembered.)

New psych is great. But I couldn't immediately get meds because they're a little hard on the heart, and so is my autoimmune disease. Had to get some ultrasounds, ECG, bloodwork. Would've taken probably a week or two as doctors usually aren't as booked out here (unless they're the only non private psych who treats adult adhd) but i suck at making appointments, so that was another few months.

I finally got the ok from all of them, and I got my prescription. I cried. At first from relief and joy. And then I actually tried them. And I cried again. This could've been how I felt my entire life? So much hardship and pain that could've been avoided. So much disappointment and 'but you're so smart!'. I mightn't even be depressed if I hadn't suffered this much every single day of my entire life.

If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading all that! What's your adhd story?

I apologize for how negative that sounds! It's been 3 months. I unfortunately can't be as consistent as I'd like because of chronic utis. I currently go about 8-10 km/h for 20 mins at a time, 2-3 times a week when I'm healthy. I keep at it because I've noticed a boost in my general energy and mood, but I hate pretty much every second of actually running. I read that that's normal as you start out, especially if you start from zero like I did. But I've also read you eventually start to tolerate and then later enjoy it. How long did it take for you to get to that point?

Edit: 5 month update on case someone stumbles across this. My progress is slow, due to frequent breaks due to my frequent colds and UTIs. I'm at 30min 5k. Running still sucks, in part, but it also feels...powerful? I've learned to pace myself and run slower, so I'm not all spent after 10 mins. It's difficult, but I think running too fast really was the biggest problem. Now what I feel during a run is a mix of 'ughgh I hate cardio' and 'this is amazing, I'm powerful, I can do anything I want'. That's enough to keep motivated. The reason I keep it up is that the former feeling ends soon after the end of the run, but the latter one persists. I try to run twice a week. If I have the time, I go on a hike instead (I live in the mountains). I enjoy those a lot more, but they take up several hours as opposed to 30mins for a run. It's helped me tremendously with my depression, so it's so worth it.

Tldr: I still don't enjoy every second of running, but pacing myself made it more enjoyable than before. And it's SO worth the mood boost and extra energy (even on rest days). I have depression and I've never felt this good in my entire 10 years of being an adult.