No Stupid Questions

If your heartburn lasts more than 24 hours, please, please, PLEASE go see a doctor.

I did not. I fought unrelenting heartburn for 5 days. In fairness, it did start 3 days after Thanksgiving, and I DID have the extra plate of sweet potatoes. Antacids did nothing, Pepto did nothing.

On the 5th day, the burning pain moved into my upper arms, which I did not know was a thing, and in the center of my chest it felt like I had a chunk of rock, pulling down on all my innards.

Advice nurse sent me to the ER, ER used a simple blood test to confirm the heart attack, but by day 5 the damage was done and the only fix was full blown open heart surgery.

Doc explained the heavy feeling was my heart only pumping out 30% of what it should be, and that's right on the line of walking around, talking to people and no longer walking around, talking to people.

While technically feasible with pure soap in small amounts (which is lye fully reacted with food grade oil/fats), the stuff you find in stores will have stuff like:

• Conditioner
• Perfume
• Coloring

All of which are likely to cause irritation on your intestines and worsen the overall acid flux experience.

If you need to do this experiment for some reason, make sure you know exactly what is in it. Most likely any "safe-ish" soap is more expensive than antacids or food-grade chalk.

Fun fact: Old timey cheap industry soap (plain tallow and lye) used to be popular with rats and mice.

The better replacement is baking soda. Mix a tablespoon in a glass of water, chug. It's gross at first, but it will annihilate heartburn.

Be warned! The reaction's byproducts are H2O and CO2, and the reaction doesn't end in your stomach. Be prepared to expel gas out one end and water out the other.

Don't eat soap.

Just keep extra anti acid on hand. I have bottles in almost every room and in my car.

You may want to look into getting some preventative OTC pills like Omeprazole or Famotadine. If it's constant reflux, you may want to schedule a visit with a doc, ulcers are a thing and don't get better without meds.

My dude omeprozol exists and is cheap. One tiny pill a day...

I wouldn't eat soap simply because it's amphiphilic, which is why, well, it makes good soap. The molecules have a hydrophilic and a lipophilic side and this will much rather soap off and severely damage the lining of your digestive route, potentially and probably also resulting in dangerous foaming.

If you take the most simple soap that's just like potassium ions and negatively charged fatty acid residues, I'm not 100% sure but I doubt that the fatty acids want to accept a proton because they are rather stable when negatively charged, hence they won't work well to buffer the stomach acid. And again, by the time that the fatty acid thinks about accepting a proton or not it will most likely be soaping up your cells' membranes.

Maybe. If you want to trade heartburn for intense diarrhea.

Well, no, not really.

Reflux is a definite no because that's not "just" heartburn. Treating chronic reflux with something like tums or rolaids isn't a great idea to begin with, and soap would cause even more problems.

But, even "just" heartburn is a no.

For one, the Ph is too high. You want to bring the acid to neutral, or close, in the esophagus; and the Ph of most soap is going to take it way past neutral and into alkaline.

Most soaps? They're bad for skin because the Ph is too high. It fucks up all kinds of stuff, and the more delicate the skin, the worse the effect. Like, your average soap is going to run around 9-10. Skin is around 5-6. The esophagus is going to hover around 7 normally, with it going to around 4 or below during chronic reflux (with occasional bouts staying a tad closer to 5 or 6). Most antacids would end up being around 8ish, at least the brand names.

I'd have to run the math to figure out what exactly the results would be with a pure alkaline being swallowed in terms of end Ph, but it doesn't really matter. Soap isn't a pure alkaline. It's a mix of things. Mind you, that's all sketched out since I'm at the very limit of my chemistry here, but the general idea holds. Don't try and use my numbers on a test or anything.

And that mix, even though it won't kill you or even put you in a hospital barring weird shit going on, ain't going to settle your stomach. For one, the most common effect of swallowing soap is vomiting. Kids get into soap occasionally, and they puke it back up more often than not. Idiot adults sometimes get drunk and take bets, or dares, or whatever other stupidity is going on. They vomit it back up in any but the smallest amounts.

What they don't vomit up is going to come out the other end with some force. Some people used to use small amounts of soapy water as a laxative. And it works

I don't see a lot of vomiting followed by hours (potentially) of nausea being a good result to treat reflux.

Future topic of a chubby emu video in the making.

Uhh, we're not exactly doctors here, but I don't recommend eating soap. But hey, you do you.

Maybe try some Pepto Bismol or something..

Tums are like little soap cookies try them

Acid reflux? I can confirm being fed soap doesn't even fucking cure potty mouth.

Just take a tums dude

I am not a doctor, but if you drink lots of caffeine, it can cause your throat sphincter to loosen and give acid reflux. Maybe put soup in your coffee to even it out /s

I think drinking water would be more effective

Research the acid reflux diet. It’s helped me. No onions. Limit tomatoes. No mint. Minimal citrus. No multivitamin (this seems unique to me) . No vitamin D (me again).

On the good list for me Gum, specifically bubblegum with no mint Vanilla ice cream. Milk

Bette Middler swears by this to preserve her voice

According to my allergist, acid reflux is one of the most common allergy symptoms. Might want to get checked.

As a quick remedy for acid reflux, I recommend Marie Biscuits or Rich Tea Biscuits. They kind of seem to absorb the acid reflux.... I don't know how it works, but I always used to have a pack of those Biscuits in my bag when I used to have regular acid reflux. They worked very well for me. Of course, changing my diet and lifestyle worked much better and now I haven't had acid reflux in years.

I never had acid reflux. I don't know what's like. I feel somehow special lol.