this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2024
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chapotraphouse

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submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by Posadas@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
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[–] context@hexbear.net 101 points 11 months ago (1 children)

i refuse to believe that this is anything but the highest concept and most dedicated of bits

my kids know me as this ape

two weeks ago myself and around 15 high ranking ape members

we wrote and delivered a notarized [emphasis mine] letter begging pacman to stop this nonsense at once [emphasis mine]

every note is perfect by itself but also builds on every note before it.

[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I, as an author, desire to capture a sense of escalating tension while both increasing jargon and maintaining low stakes. Like if Toy Story were a slice of life. I have fallen flat on my face imagining something this person does so effortlessly

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[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 76 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Most of my early followers know me as this ape. My kids know me as this ape. I met my wife when I WAS this ape and had my first kid when I still proudly wore this ape.

New site tagline just dropped.

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[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 47 points 11 months ago

My kids know me as this ape. I met my wife when I WAS this ape and had my first kid when I was still proudly wore this ape.

LMAO michael-laugh

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 45 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This image has incredible sentimental value, as long as I can get money for it.

[–] Posadas@hexbear.net 52 points 11 months ago (7 children)
[–] lapis@hexbear.net 34 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

did... did this man just equate a piece of crypto "art" to a living, breathing woman? and then say he would dump his wife rather than watch her be stabbed, as opposed to, idk, stopping the stabbing?

a'ight kids, where do we keep the torches and pitchforks again?

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Tabitha@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago

violence against women

spousal abandonment

this is emotionally fungible with jaypeg loss.

[–] disposable_cracker@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Is no one else gonna comment on how his wife is being stabbed to death more than once? She'd be dead after the first time.

[–] Aradina@lemmy.ml 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He's just remarrying every time, so basically he's feeding wives to a serial killer

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[–] DirtyPair@hexbear.net 43 points 11 months ago (3 children)

scrolling all the way to the bottom of this nonsense only to be hit with a picture of the ape in question is so funny

these things are so ugly what is up with these people

[–] Sphere@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

My thoughts exactly, it was almost like running into a wall all of a sudden. Like, how the hell can anyone have positive emotions about this absolutely hideous image?

(I realize it's probably a bit but we all know there's real people out there who are really like this.)

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[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 40 points 11 months ago
[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 40 points 11 months ago (2 children)

That's not what the term "fetishism of commodities" refers to. It refers to the way that the simple presentation of commodities at sale obscures the complex social relations that went into their production.

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 37 points 11 months ago (2 children)

buddy they won't even let me fuck the commodities

[–] context@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

in my head these 4 sentences mean different things

buddy they won't even let me fuck the commodities

buddy they won't even let me fuck the commodities

buddy they won't even let me fuck the commodities

buddy they won't even let me fuck the commodities

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[–] Pili@hexbear.net 11 points 11 months ago

Tell me about it, the only action I get is when I masturbate to wikicommodities.com

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[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 39 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

"I am selling my ape because I am convinced the market is heading in the wrong direction and will keep going that way because of the way it is being run" is not a very good sales pitch. It does not inspire me with confidence that this ape will be worth my purchase.

[–] tripartitegraph@hexbear.net 38 points 11 months ago

Trying to explain this to my grandma, let alone a peasant from centuries ago, would probably do her in

[–] Parsani@hexbear.net 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm 99.99% sure this is a bit. Some of the comments give it away.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago

It's a good bit, i was convinced.

[–] NewAcctWhoDis@hexbear.net 34 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 37 points 11 months ago

If it is, it's a very funny one

[–] Posadas@hexbear.net 25 points 11 months ago

That's why I didn't put it in the dunk tank

[–] LeZero@hexbear.net 32 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Juche gang stay winning

Also

spoilerBumbledoor lmao

[–] BrezhnevsEyebrows@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago

A lot of good apes went down in that hack ussr-cry

[–] NuraShiny@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago

"I gotta sell this ape before it's price is zero" this man says, without any introspectuon as to him trying to sell this ape for money while admitting it's worthless. These people are the dumbest humans and should be studied.

[–] aaro@hexbear.net 30 points 11 months ago (2 children)

12e is $42,000 and 85e is $300,000 btdubs

[–] SSJ2Marx@hexbear.net 28 points 11 months ago

people are spending what would be for you life changing money on ugly mass produced jpegs

agony-shivering agony-acid agony-consuming agony-deep

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago

Lol that they're still selling for that much is a travesty.

[–] 4zi@hexbear.net 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Two weeks ago myself and 15 other high ranking ape members gathered

The cuck committee assembled

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[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago

Give me slurp juice or give me death

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago (7 children)

What is blur i refuse to look it up

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago

90s britpop band

[–] Posadas@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Your can still use the ape, gratis. Right click, save👍


Yes John, I know..I sold it to my dear friend @dtrain22k who has provided me with written approval to use Salazar still.

Regardless, it is still a soul crushing hit.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Kinda afraid to ask, but was he fucking serious?

[–] NewAcctWhoDis@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

It looks like it's a token that will be given to top users of the trading platform, meaning the people who buy and sell apes the most. Assuming this has "value" (lol) this means you can buy and sell an ape at a loss but make up for it by selling the token later.

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[–] hauntologist@hexbear.net 21 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I never did understand NFTs. What happened to them? I know everyone here clocked them immediately for the obvious scams they are, but of course there were celebrities swearing by them and talk of them was everywhere and unavoidable. Now I don't hear a peep about them. My hope is that this is because every rich fuck or cryptobro who swore by them has been driven into the kind of financial despair they always mocked. Is that true? Are all the mid-to-low level NFT connoisseurs now destitute or at least dispossessed of much of their ill-begotten wealth that they had accumulated before going all in on NFTs? Are NFTs 100% dead now (thank Allah), or is there a chance these dipshits will push hard enough that there will be some kind of a resurgence?

[–] axont@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Celebrities were swearing by them because all celebrities hire management/consultants to handle their money. There was a boom in NFTs among rich circles in California. They became both fashionable and a way to quickly scam some money together.

Since celebrity financial managers are all inbred with tech bro California money dorks, celebrities ended up endorsing whatever their management told them to endorse. Most celebrities probably didn't see it any different from doing a toothpaste commercial. They were told to buy NFTs to seem hip and to make money.

I don't think anyone has actually been driven into financial ruin from NFTs. The kind of people buying the things already had a ton of money to throw around for other useless commodities.

All crypto has been slowly dying since the whole FTX scandal.

[–] Galli@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The "value" of the NFTs was tied to the value of the coins (almost always etherium) on the chain on which they were minted. The hammer came down on FTX which was the primary company propping up the bezzle bringing down the hanger-on scams with it.

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[–] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Named the ape Salazar which I am sure is not a reference to anyone.

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[–] Jenniferrr@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

Is this real

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