this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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[–] madjo 141 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Well when men keep hearing “don’t approach us”, we shouldn’t be shocked when men don’t approach people.

[–] Steve@startrek.website 57 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] SomGye@dormi.zone 49 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Step 2 - don't be unattractive.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

I'm at 0/2 so far are there any more steps?

[–] mitchty@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 2 weeks ago

Get a dog or cat or both.

[–] SomGye@dormi.zone 7 points 2 weeks ago

Step 3 - Repeat Step 1.

[–] ExtantHuman@lemm.ee 4 points 2 weeks ago
[–] surph_ninja@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Just be funny and not a piece of shit. My wife is so gorgeous, people immediately know I have a good sense of humor and I’m supportive. I’m certainly not rich.

Granted, this is not a good approach for the apps. You need to be able to sell yourself in person. Best dating strategy in this case is making many friends, and some of them will be charmed into attraction. If I were dating, speed dating would probably be workable for this approach.

[–] MisterFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
  • Step 1. Be courteous
  • Step 2. Interact with people in general
  • Step 3. Ask our the people you're genuinely interested in, and feel you have some kind of connection with, respectfully, knowing rejection is okay

Repeat until you get a date.

Being attractive helps a lot. Obviously. But you can put effort into your appearance. More than anything your personality is the thing that will get you a date.

Having tried Tinder 12 years ago, once, around the time I became an adult, why you'd choose it over asking people out in real life is beyond me. Especially if you're not very attractive.

The meta is all off haha

[–] FatTony@lemmy.world -4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

If there is one thing the internet has overwhelmingly seceded at it's convincing people that looks are absolutely everything. A lot of people I know tend to take their dating app experience as solid evidence of their romantic inaptitude. Even when it's all too well known they are scams designed to keep you on their platform for as long as possible.

I know that preaching about stepping up to women may feel like the same way as saying: "Just be attractive, bro." And if it does, to that I say: Do it and practise it for the sake of it. "That looks like a nice person, let's find out what they're about, for no damn reason at all."

Anyway, my two cents. And if it helps whenever you're scared of striking up a conversation just keep in mind: "The alternative is dating apps."

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

At the same time, lots of men are really shitty when they "approach" women.

"Don't approach us" is a response to men's behaviour, not the other way around.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So yeah don't approach women, got it.

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee -5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Very incel-y, but sure.

Or, you could take it as a statement with the subtext that it clearly has, which is "dont approach us if youre going to be an asshole."

If you would rather stew in bitterness than adjust to the above, the first option is likely better for everyone.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I think if women meant that they would say it instead of "never approach women"

Blaming men for listening to women is some new level of crazy

[–] ExtantHuman@lemm.ee 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Your inability to understand nuance might be part of the problem. Having to explain every single exception spelled out literally takes too long to get the guy acting creepy away from them.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You haven't explained anything, you just keep shitting out the same response hoping you'll shame me into going away.

[–] 0xD@infosec.pub -2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Yeah, because you're drowning in self-pity instead of understanding that men are the problem in the vast majority of cases. You're bitching around instead, that's typical incel behavior.

You can go up to a woman and flirt with her - just don't be an asshole and accept a "no" without crying or further harassing her ;) It's really not hard. Most appreciate it.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee -3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

So option 1 I guess.

Way to be mad at 4 billion people because you dont want to be a decent human being.