this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] Frank@hexbear.net 52 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I always wonder "what do these people think their quack bullshit does?" And have to remind myself that the whole the world consistents of physical processes and phenomena interacting with each other in predictable, observable ways" thing isn't actually a universal belief.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago

What if that same thing, but instead of having to read a textbook about chemistry I could pretend it's the magical systems from my favourite cartoons? Then I could just watch cartoons and feel as smart as a doctor.

[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 40 points 1 year ago

She died on that Florida parking lot but she smelled great!

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Also yes, she is using this to sell a pyramid scheme. You too can be a holistic paramedic if you join DoTerra: https://www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/comments/1acmp5u/doterra_hun_thinks_shes_a_hero/

[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

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[–] booty@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

help i fell down and now some strange man is oiling me

[–] VapeNoir@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

This is basically the new testament

[–] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Of course this is at Disney World. I love that she's prepared with oils like a fucking Witcher, though I'm guessing there's more nuance to what a witcher uses in different occasions. Also concerned that smelly oils are getting in those cuts. Great work all around

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

She's prepared with oils and the situation is so desperate that she throws bruise oil to her husband before saving her own child from the horror of a minor fall. Mickey Mouse and the police stood there clapping and demanding their own DoTerra business where they can be their own boss.

[–] booty@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

though I'm guessing there's more nuance to what a witcher uses in different occasions.

In the books they don't even use oils (and barely ever use potions or signs, for that matter) most of their gimmick is just being good at the witchcraft known as stabbing a mfer with a sword.

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

bro this is our street medic we are not gonna make it

[–] abc@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

the minimum wage disney parking lot attendant watching this happen while presumably directing traffic around them: monke-ruserious

[–] Grandpa_garbagio@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Always bums me out because I like essential oils, just because they smell good. I feel weird having them though, multiple occasions of friends letting me know "you know those don't really work right?" And me being confused momentarily trying to figure out what they could possibly mean (it's like saying a candle doesn't work in my brain) until remembering a fuck load of people think it's medicine.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I like essential oils, just because they smell good.

Funnily enough that's their main purpose throughout history, and while people always gave some medicinal properties attached to it (probably because before industrialization it would take even more work to extract the stuff), it's always been used for perfumes.

[–] WaterBowlSlime@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 1 year ago

I can forgive a medieval peasant who believes in miasma theory for thinking that the smelly grease is healing. Idk what excuse these weirdos will come up with tho

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

People add some mystical nonsense to them. At the end of the day, all they really do is produce smells that can produce psychosomatic effects. That doesn't mean they're not useful, I just wouldn't oil myself up for cancer and shit.

[–] Ceres@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

also why I frequent healing crystal stores because the good ones have some cool looking or geologically interesting rocks, then it's 50/50 if it's a reasonable price or a $200 spray painted quartz crystal lol. although the real shame is when all the rocks are rounded and polished because that gets rid of half the mineralogy

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

i too love to smell farts

[–] axont@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Y'all might laugh but some of us have an MP deficiency and need regular oiling, sometimes mid battle

[–] determinism2@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

"He did attempt to give one of the injured some water, but otherwise he was just placing crystals around the bodies."

[–] robinn_IV@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why is God blocked out twice?

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

Because god didn't save that woman. Essential oils did.

HELP! HELP! THIS ELDERLY LADY HAS FALLEN OVER! DOES ANYBODY HAVE SOME GINSENG?? SHE'S SPIRITUALLY FLATLINING! OH GOD! WE NEED THE FRANKINCENSE NOW OR SHE'S NOT GOING! TO MAKE IT! SOMEBODY PREP THE PADDLES. YES, I MEAN THE AMETHYST PADDLES!

[–] rootsbreadandmakka@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I need 50 cc's of frankincense oil STAT

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

I tossed my husband a coffee enema out of my medkit and screamed, "fill her up good, baby." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said "thank you sir for saving my life" as the coffee did its job.

[–] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

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[–] WaterBowlSlime@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For the longest time, I thought frankincense was a Halloween-themed product made by like, Bath & Bodyworks or something. It was very confusing hearing Serious people get religious about it.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I only know it from Catholic Christmas mass when the clergy put it in a little brazier and swing it around the aisles. It smells really nice alongside the myrrh, like a campfire in a conifer forest.

[–] WaterBowlSlime@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 1 year ago

In Spanish it's just called "incienso" aka "incense". I figured it'd be the same in English but it isn't. I liked when the guy swung around the censer too. One of the only times I paid attention in church.