this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2024
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chapotraphouse

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Half-Life 3 announced. America collapses before its released in 2031

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[โ€“] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Russia attempts a large offensive, trying to end the war before spring. The army makes modest gains, then the offensive stalls again. The war continues by January 2025.

The war in Gaza continues being a meat-grinder with heavy Palestinian, mostly civilian losses and a slow pace of the Israeli offensive. Eventually, a ceasefire happens somewhere in late spring and the situation returns to the pre-October status quo.

A new round of unrest in Venezuela happens after the election.

Fascists win a bunch of European elections.

Some new climate-change related catastrophes happen in both the global north and south, causing unrest and migration in the most affected countries.

New temperature records and "hottest month in history" happen several times through the year.

Some old celebrity or person in position of power, say the pope, dies.

Trump gets blocked from the ballot in multiple states, causing him to drop out of the race and not endorse anyone. Kennedy gets over 10% of the vote. If Biden survives, he wins. Nevertheless, the turnout will drop.

The bourgeois economies remain afloat, stagnant and sickly, but no crisis yet.

Right wing terrorism continues to rear its ugly head.

The UK government doesn't survive until the 2025 election. The Tories go further right, but bootleg Tony Blair wins and changes nothing about the current policies of the United Kingdom... except give more money to cops.

China and Russia remain stable.

The left keeps shrinking.

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[โ€“] HornyOnMain@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

George Santos 2024 ๐Ÿ˜ค

[โ€“] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

Israeli false flag against a US warship.

Turkey finally makes a move, butries the hatchet with Syria in solidarity with Palestine, exits NATO in plan to unite the Arab world and recreate the Ottoman Empire to contain Israel.

Sanctions of choice will drive costs up double digits.

Economic conditions continue to get drastically worse as technical hyperinflation hits western countries, but the leaders keep insisting everything is fine this-is-fine

Citi bank major scandal.

Eurovision interrupted by pro Palestinian activists - repeatedly.

ancaptain begins banning opposition parties.

biden-fall breaks on live tv in a way that is unsalvageable.

lathe-of-heaven Assange is a free man.

In tradition with the ongoing collapse of the UK, Richi Sunak gets booted.

[โ€“] GaveUp@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Maybe in 1 year is too soon but building off the Chinese balloon story this year

Made in Mexico Chinese EVs start slowly getting sold in USA before the US can fully roll out new tariffs to stop them. Americans go batshit insane and start destroying any Chinese EV they see on the road. At least 1 person gets shot while inside one

[โ€“] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

I just want Nios and BYDs doomer

[โ€“] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Austria had a bit of a hilarious shitfit recently on the grounds of the EUs "lowest bidder every time means best use of tax money" regulation for public acquisition awarded a fleet contract for EVs to chinese company BYD because turns out they're the lowest bidder and suddenly every fan of big boy adult lean state economic obligation suddenly turned into a protectionist when their rules inevitably lead to pretty much exactly what they want to happen

[โ€“] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Neo nazis shoot down a passenger plane

I was going to say a terrorist attack in Europe funded by Ukrainian neo-nazis.

[โ€“] Parsani@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

Things continue to get worse

[โ€“] YourMom@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
  • Biden wins the electoral college while losing the popular vote. The media will call it a huge victory for democracy. Dems will be in the minority in both chambers
  • Javier Meili admits to relationship with sister, gains popularity
  • Liberal MSM outlets start acting like they never supported Ukraine in the first place
  • Trump will pick an insanely stupid/ unelectable predecessor
[โ€“] Wheaties@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

A Democrat winning the college without the popular vote would be the end of the constitutional government as we know it. The GOP's voting base could not digest it. Republican party leadership would be ready and willing to ride the resulting wave of discontent through and over the existing political structures.

[โ€“] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Fascists win elections and culture wars as usual, liberals become irrelevant, and we stay irrelevant only when someone to blame is being brought up.

Normies really REALLY love their fascism and will stick with it through thick and thin.

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[โ€“] AlicePraxis@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

George RR Martin finishes writing The Winds of Winter but the sole manuscript is stolen. the thief anonymously sells the book to the highest bidder, who turns out to be Martin Shkreli, buying it for 69 bitcoins. he burns the manuscript live on Twitch

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[โ€“] ProfessorAdonisCnut@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Polish right wing starts to vocally call for 'stabilization interventions' in western Ukraine in thin pretext for a repeat of 1919-21, paramilitary factions like Lwรณw Battalion and Kresy Battalion begin to form

China acts as mediator for a ceasefire in Gaza, it looks to be successful until a USS Liberty-alike incident escalates the Hezbollah front

Trump has a major health scare but is miraculously fine within a month

Milei requests direct US military assistance against 'communist rebels' that don't exist

Trump confirms the existence of Israel's nukes by mocking their capability in his 'we have the best nukes' speech

Hillary divorces Bill over the Epstein revelations, and successfully primaries Biden before losing the federal election to Trump as the RODHAM/BLINKEN ticket because some of her faithless electors in states that Trump was barred from running in flip votes to him for the sake of the people's right to choose their fascist dictator

An F-35 experiences a mechanical failure and crashes over Yemen, US media goes crazy about the threat of China, Russian and Iran getting access to the wreckage

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[โ€“] Ocommie63@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 1 year ago

Iโ€™ll probably further my transition, come out to more people, start dressing more femme, and maybe even get my hands on some of the good stuff

Israel sees massive inflation from war time spending. The US will stabilize their currency by discretely buying and selling their currency. They will incentivize the private sector to do direct foreign investment. The US will see another inflation event towards the end of the year.

[โ€“] DayOfDoom@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Every single moment of 2024 is going to be worse than 2023. So imagine 2023 again but worse and normie dipshits getting increasingly belligerent and unhinged when any of this is pointed out.

Cottage cheese-filled pineapples ala Marguerite Patten become a minor trend on Tiktok for a week.

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[โ€“] NewAcctWhoDis@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Biden pardons Trump for something.

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[โ€“] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Someone turn the most probably ones into a bingo board.

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[โ€“] Aquilae@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Russia and Ukraine begin negotiations.

Leaked sex tape of Biden and Trump together.

China begins reunification process with Taiwan.

Another European country elects a fascist.

I begin process of getting a gf

Argentinians start to realize shit's fucked

[โ€“] Biggay@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I begin process of getting a gf

Hell Yeah brother, good luck

[โ€“] thirstywizard@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

Lots of bad weather in general. Also solar flares and floods, how bad? Fuck if I know you asked for predictions. Meili's probably going to step back into a position in his own cabinet once he's felt someone dare insult him for being a murderer fuckup. US politics will be a trainwreck per usual, election bullshit won't stop even into next year again.

[โ€“] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Transnistrian international recognition

New Zealander Civil War breaks out. Peter Jackson is proclaimed dictator for life.

RFK Jr. wins 80% of the popular vote

Everyone gets more insane

Q true identity revealed

I'll still be alone k-pain

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[โ€“] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

(Attempted) Chinese and/or Korean reunification: 7

Biden wins popular vote, loses electoral vote: 2

Liberals blame leftists for not voting hard enough: 1

Biden narrowly wins, little material difference from a Trump victory: 2

George Santos runs for office as a Democrat: 10

Human Pet Guy arrested for being a sex pest of some sort: 3

Red Scare Pod hosts become Posadists: 12

Colleges required to ban trans students from sports or lose federal funding under new supreme court title ix interpretation: 4

COVID surges in summer, pandemic will be ignored: 3

January 6 pt. II: 4

Biden attempts to talk to protesters and is shot: 20 Lauren Bobert joins mob, injured due to tazer misuse

Silksong doesn't come out: 1

Tom Scott ends hiatus after 3 months: 4

Natalie Wynn or Abigail Thorne get major role in Hollywod film: 5

Sam Altman forms tech-priests: 7

Elon Musk's daughter becomes a leftist podcast host: 8

Florida outlaws EVs (under 100,000): 6

USS Gerald R. Ford reruns to Israel, gets damaged due to technical error with Israeli artillery: 9

The situation in Palestine worsens as Israel takes more desperate measures to suppress decolonization, yet has marginal effect on militants: 1

ChatGPT gets progressively worse as model collapse kicks in: 3

Vegas Sphere gets hacked: 5

US Airlines grind to total halt due to bug, COBOL bergentruckung awakened from hibernation in New Jersey home: 2

I stop being paralyzed by anxiety and start transitioning: 1

[โ€“] CrimsonSage@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

"I stop being paralyzed by anxiety and start transitioning: 1"

cat-trans

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