Stop Drinking

This was a big struggle for me at first. It used to be that I'd wake up on Saturday, knock out any chores, then go sit at the bar all day. I've found that my weekends are so much more interesting and full now, and feel so much longer.

For example, I'm off today and took a nice walk with my dog. We saw several cute cats then chatted with neighbors. Then I went shopping and got a new book, and they gave me a coupon for a coffee so I sat in their café and read for a while. Grabbed some food then charged my car. Got home and beat an absolutely amazing videogame (Spiritfarer) and it's only 2:30pm - I still have half a day to do whatever I want! I'll probably hang out with a buddy for a while, take another walk with the pup, maybe cook a nice dinner, and videochat with a crush (we have a date tomorrow).

It does take time and effort to get your mind out of the cycle of just doing things to get them done so you can go drink, but trust that life is so much more fulfilling once you get there.

I smoke copious amounts of cannabis and play with my cats

Boardgame night is a good one. If you do it at a place without booze - a game store, library, it just a friend's house it should be an easy to option.

What constitutes as "fun" for you? How did alcohol play into it before?

If your idea of fun was going out to a club or bar with friends, was it the alcohol that you had fun with, or was it the social engagement? You can still have social nights out, you just need to try to change to venues (and/or friend groups) that don't expect alcohol to be a part of the activities. If you enjoy board games, maybe find a board game group. If you enjoy dancing, see if there are dance classes or studios nearby that are alcohol free.

If you usually stay at home and drink to alter your senses while watching TV/movies/videos, or play video games, or such, try doing the same things but without the drinks. Maybe change it up a little bit, to make it more novel and less likely to feel like you're missing something from your usual routine, but see how you enjoy the same hobbies sober.

If you would just sit around drinking, either at home or at a bar, was that actually fun, or was it just something you did to occupy the time? It might have just been a convenient escape. There are other escapes you can find, whether a new hobby, or exercise and fitness, or meditation.

Just be mindful to try to find something sustainable and healthy. Right now, drinking is a habit, and you don't really get rid of habits, you replace them with different ones. There are a good handful of people suggesting weed, and there is nothing wrong with that, but you'll have the same habits of "needing" something to enjoy the activities you do now, just it's weed instead of alcohol.

You don't need to have fun. I do things I like that aren't destructive to me. I don't binge eat, I don't stay up super late. Responsibility to yourself and your health should come first. Drink water, get that skin healthier. Brush your teeth, exercise, eat right, get better sleep. That's the real good shit. If you can get THAT down, you'll be doing pretty good. Then start really working on your nutrition, finding sustainable, tolerable, healthy food that you like eating. Find pleasure in overcoming these challenges.

Once you do that, start going places during the day. See the amazing sights, get a tan. Be fully present in the weirdness that is life. It's uncomfortable, bizarre, fascinating, and fun.

But like somebody else said, if all fails, gay sex is pretty great. Or if it goes right, the perspective is really up to you.

If you do one thing though, it's to try to drink more water. That shit's good for everything.

gay sex helps a lot

• Puzzles
• Reading
• Board games
• Video games
• Cycling
• Hiking
• Baking (especially croissants)
• Borking my Linux install
• Raspberry Pi tinkering

Video games!

Lots of reading.

Lots of binging competition cooking shows.

Lots of walking.

YMMV, adjust hobbies to suit.

Think like a poor person.

Dinner at friends' places with activities. Evening hikes with friends, swimming if you have access to that. I had a YMCA near me with a sauna open till 11pm and it was five bucks to get in. Bike rides to go look at stars. 24 hr cafes with tables big enough to bring a board game. Learn how to make sober drinks and have a party around that. IF you're the sober person out with drinking folks, pick bars that do mixed virgin drinks, some of them are awesome. Get really into making kombucha.

Board games

Mostly what I did before, but without a drink in my hand. Society conditions is to believe that alcohol adds “instant fun” to any situation, but the reality is that we enjoy things because we find them enjoyable, and by and large the alcohol doesn’t actually add anything.

There was an experiment in This Naked Mind where she just sits and drinks and does nothing, and turns out it’s boring and awful and no fun is added by being drunk. I’m not doing it justice, but recommend reading it.

Anything works as long as you keep reminding yourself you're not going to drink. It really helps if you have other people in your friend group or partner that also don't drink. Less likely to feel pressured to drink that way.

And a rule of thumb is to never drink when alone, that can spiral out very easily.

As for what to do on weekends, bing watch movie, series, anime, play games. Read books. Maybe something artistic, making things (anything that's available). When you create something it gives you dopamine when you complete it. Happiness that comes from that is great. Maybe learn programming, or other skills. Cooking is another thing that becomes fun as you get better, and you get to enjoy good food.

Drugs, of course.

Cannabis and sex

Like, whatever you want to do!

I play role - playing games and cook food. Next month I join a BJJ gym with all the money I'm saving.

I took up candle making as a hobby last year and I play music most days.

I just try to get better at something than I was yesterday and have fun doing it.

Billiard

Weed + movies/tv/youtube

DANCING

Watching sport games

Weed

Self care. Cooking a healthy meal or making a hearty soup, stew, or salad. Sufficient sleep. Hot bath. Walking meditation. Pray. Volunteer. Loving kindness meditation. Make friends with stays and wildlife (a stray begger who wouldn't come near, then slapped food out of my hand, then hooked me with a claw is now letting me pet her).

Paint models! DnD, Warhammer, period models, whatever. Kept me busy by myself for ages.

Plus, you can put your booze budget into your hobby, and have something to show for it!

Learning an instrument!

Vidya games with my friends

Hang out with horses

Hang out with my pets

Crafts

Wikipedia rabbit holes

Movies

Idle hands are the devil's workshop. Find a new hobby you enjoy.

I realized the drinking wasn't even always fun. It was often habit, perhaps even ritual, and sometimes just to pass time. It let me speed time up and get out of my social anxiety (though in reality it just delayed embarrassment and wrecked my health). Most of the time, I'm playing games, learning (pick up a new language!), reading, etc.

https://www.icypaa.org/

International Conference of Young People in AA.

There's a sober group in my area called "Never Had A Legal Drink." It was created by and for people who got sober before they turned 21 years old.

Vidya and or acid

Movies, tv shows, browsing the internet, reading a book, playing an instrument. Honestly, making a complicated dinner is how I fill a lot of weekend afternoon / weekends, and when I feel like having a drink while doing it, I usually just get a non-alcoholic wine or beer, it fills that fun vibe without making me feel like shit later.

Have you tried Marijuana? I kid, but seriously though... It depends on what you like to do, but there is lots you could do without alcohol. Video games, board games, movies, music and snacks, cat burglary. Lots of stuff!

Mushrooms, weed, and outdoor adventures. There's endless amounts of cool shit to explore out there. Video games, exploring art, literature for the days inside.