How do you like those beans?
the grift never ends
this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
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chapotraphouse
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It takes a long time to gather enough for a glass of this.
His Grecian Formula runneth over.
This is my industry. What's happening here is they're selling through a past crop lot the importer couldn't move so they offloaded it below cost. This happens a lot with organic centrals since they tend to store very poorly. I guarantee you that this is extremely phenolic. The roastery is roasting on Ambex YM-120, the cheapest and shittiest large commercial batch roaster available.
Also there's no such thing as GMO coffee (yet)
What company would you recommend for a not-too-expensive cold brew?
Making it yourself really the only way to get good cold brew that's affordable. I haven't found any premade concentrates that are any good and the only RTD canned cold brew that I've liked that has any actual distribution is the Press cold brew. But it's literally my job to have unreasonable standards for stuff like that, and if you drink it with any milk or sugar concentrates can be a lot more palatable. I know some people who like the chameleon concentrate and the stumptown concentrate.
They can't make money off of selling good coffee, cologne, shoes, etc. Everything has to be cheap because their real commodity is political animus. It doesn't have the biggest markup, but there is value to capture if you're big enough. The coffee is actually the value add, not the main attraction. Therefore it has to be dirt cheap. They can't make money off selling decent coffee.
I assume Black Rifle Coffee is a similar deal
Black Rifle is an actual coffee roastery that does normal sourcing through importers with decent equipment. I'm sure it's changed but before COVID they used a San Franciscan SF-75 as their main roaster, which is an actual quality machine. It's just a company run by chuds that sources and blends bad coffee and pays like shit.
so glad the dumbest motherfuckers alive are gonna waste their money on this garbagewater
if you see rudy guliani (not gonna check how to properly spell this pig’s name) selling coffee in a tweet and you go buy it then you deserve to taste disappointment
The youtube nazi that peed in his basement has a white label coffee like this also called "Coffee Brand" that's pushed by people like grummz. I'm blanking on his name.
The Quartering? I thought Joey Saladino at first but then I remembered that he's the nazi who peed in his own mouth, not his basement.
Yeah, that guy.
rudy guillotini
Democrats should be embarrassed that their biggest rival is a lifestyle brand…
…and the lifestyle brand always beats them.
I just had a sudden flash of "wait, he's still alive?"
the weird part is I never thought he died
TIL...
Congratulations you've just mandelad another giuliani timeline
Leaving the cursed notion of a Rudy Giuliani branded coffee aside...
"LOW-ACID"? MOTHERFUCKER LOW ACIDITY IS A DEFECT IN COFFEE, GOOD COFFEE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ACIDIC OMG
"Low Acid" is an industry euphemism for bland, but you usually use it when there's also an off note otherwise it would be "balanced"
I just saw your post right after I had hit send on mine... I know just a tiny bit about coffee, so I feel reassured that you kinda know what's up.
Yeah, unfortunately I worked a couple years at place that did shit like this. The design of the showroom and the production floor even looks almost identical.
Best coffee I got was from Sey. Its expensive but after covid its the only beans that doesn't taste burned to me
no bitterness, eh
fighting for justice
For best justice remove every zig.
Also, who the fuck is that supposed to be next to him? I need glasses. Is that some untouchables Elliot Ness shit or what?
generic italian coded stand-ins for the Gottis
literally 
Oh god this is real
Lol it looks like they don't vet the reviews that show up on the site.
Of course not. That would take effort on their part. It's their most precious commodity.
oh i dont rly like cold brew tbh
No one does
I do.
When it's 90f and 90% relative humidity at 8am hot coffee is punishment. i can knock out three cold brews and get my caffeine buzz without overheating internally.
Also, my stomach is a big baby and traditionally brewed coffee is too acidic for my stomach to handle. Cold brew is less acidic. Even if I heat up a cup it's still lower acid because it was cold brewed.
Technically cold brew isn't any less acidic, it just feels way less acidic since more lipids and sugars are extracted.
Most cold brew is bad because people treat it like just an easy way to make cold coffee. I've been able to convert literal professional cold brew haters with actual good cold brew.
There are people whose job is hating cold brew?
Pays ok
I'm being a bit facetious, but I'm talking about career coffee professionals who would shit on cold brew including the person who had the idea for and helped design the Verve flash brew system that they use instead of cold brew. Also a few cafe owners who do iced coffee because they didn't like cold brew.
What kind of method do you use to make good cold brew?
I'm assuming my "replace some of my pour over water with equal mass in ice" is shitty lol
You can get good Iced coffee that way, but you also have to do something to boost extraction. I usually grind a little bit finer and stir the grounds a bit while they're brewing. It's a lot easier with something like a Chemex or a Kalita Wave since they already drain fairly slow.
As for the cold brew, it's hard to give an exact recommendation without knowing what coffee you're using, what your water is like, and what equipment you have on hand.
In general what I do on a smaller scale is:
- Using a paper cold brew bag inside of a nylon one (just in case the paper one breaks). You can use a cotton bag but they're hard to care for.
- Grinding the coffee aiming for like a 800-1000μm mean particle size, which is a medium/medium-coarse grind about what you would do for a large commercial batch brewer. This is significantly finer than almost every cold brew recipe online will tell you.
- Using roughly a 9:1 water to coffee ratio. This is significantly more water than any recipe will tell you.
- Doing a "hot bloom" where you start with about 1/4 of your water hot and you agitate the coffee and the hot water together for about 45 seconds to 1 minute before adding the rest of the water as either ice water or very cold water as quickly as you can.
- Brewing in a fridge for roughly 18-20 hours. You can start tasting at around 16 hours and it's usually fine to let it go up to 24 hours.
- Remove the bag and jury-rig some way for it to sit above the cold brew and drain for about half an hour.
- Dilute the cold brew to taste, usually by about 1/4.
- Optional step of letting the cold brew sit for an hour or so and then carefully decanting into a separate container, leaving any silt that has settled at the bottom of the original container. This will give you a clearer final drink and a bit longer of a shelf life.
The exact ratio and brew time will depend heavily on your coffee and your water. The biggest problem I see (taste) with the water people use is too high levels of anything acting as a pH buffer in the water, you can't really do anything about this without building your own water (starting with pure water and adding minerals), this always hides any of the delicate flavors of the coffee and gives the cold brew a very strong prune-y note.
This is fantastic, thanks so much for the pro tips! 
Any time. I've spent years figuring all of this out so other people don't have to.
GOOD post
A place near me tries to upsell me on cold brew when I ask for an iced long black. I'm like no i ordered what I ordered cos that's what I want
Rudy Giuliani kopi luwak, FML
They put Rudy in a cage and force fed him coffee berries
