this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2025
286 points (92.3% liked)

memes

15599 readers
3167 users here now

Community rules

1. Be civilNo trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour

2. No politicsThis is non-politics community. For political memes please go to !politicalmemes@lemmy.world

3. No recent repostsCheck for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month

4. No botsNo bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins

5. No Spam/AdsNo advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live.

A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment

Sister communities

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 32 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Pudutr0n@feddit.cl 44 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What good is the 200 million then

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

You only have to do it for 2 days. Just put yourself into a medically induced coma for 2 days. Its easy money.

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 28 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hard dilemma ... Do you guarantee that the table will not change dimensions in those 2 days?
Needs some planning, there might be ways to avoid measuring a table for a while.

[–] zloubida@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago

For a while, maybe, but two whole days?

[–] whatsisface@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 weeks ago

No. It's not worth the lasting damage it would cause. You'll need to live with it for the rest of your life.

All the people answering "yes" so confidently are severely underestimating the life-altering consequences this sort of trauma can cause. No amount of money would ever fix it.

[–] mhzawadi@lemmy.horwood.cloud 16 points 2 weeks ago

Wait, you guys measure tables?

I just eat off them

[–] JackLSauce@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

I can’t know how to hear more about tables!

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Ask someone else to measure it for me

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

"Uhh.... it's a little over the line, so that's a half? So is that twenty three, one slash four, and a half?"

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds close enough to me! I'll double-check in a few days if I need to, I appreciate your help! Here's $10, buy yourself a banana

[–] SippyCup 1 points 2 weeks ago

This physically hurts me

[–] LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Pay em a buck

[–] ohshit604@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Hate to break it to you, it’s out of tolerance, time for that non-conformance report.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 weeks ago

Nooo, my database is fucked!

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago

Look, if I can't slap my dick down on the table, life isn't worth living. And, by definition, that is a form of dick measuring. Since it measures the dick against the table, the table is therefore measured against the dick.

However! If someone would volunteer to be a flesh table for the period of the no-table-measuring, that would be acceptable. If I can measure my dick against someone's shoulders or hips, problem solved, and I'm 200 mil richer.

[–] listless@lemmy.cringecollective.io 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

maybe i'm a fool, but i think i might be able to do it...

[–] perishthethought@lemm.ee 4 points 2 weeks ago

Worth a shot, eh?

[–] CMDR_Horn@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Order 200m worth of tables demand 3 day delivery

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

36 hours in and I would think I'm in the clear then someone would need some real help, like loading their truck to move some stuff for their kids party and ask me, "think it will all fit?" In that moment reflexes would lose the money.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 2 weeks ago

I can still measure other things, tho, right?

[–] Engywuck@lemm.ee 8 points 2 weeks ago

I'll just pay someone else to measure it.

[–] Digestive_Biscuit@feddit.uk 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I was actually measuring my desk today as I want to fit a draw under it.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] lunarul@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Must be a small desk to only fit a draw. Larger ones can fit drawer. Industrial sized ones fit drawest.

[–] missandry351@lemmings.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Bring it on

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

For 200m I could just hide in bed for a few days.

[–] EtherWhack@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

So no bananas for a couple days...

Sounds killer, but I'm up for the challenge

[–] shoo@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Depends which table

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago

If the width and the hight of the table... Hold on... Oh crap i already lost the money.

[–] DeusUmbra@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Rogal Dorn, is that you?

[–] BuckRowdy@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

what if I don't use a tape measure?