chapotraphouse

In amerikkkan terms, I suppose this is either a catholic's 9/11 or july fourth

Turns out the veggie dog I’ve been calling street wheat is made of soy protein

Give me seitan based hot dogs! Give me street wheat!!

Having an existential crisis rn because I may have to choose not to pursue my masters in protest of my universities position on global politics... I would really like to talk this through with someone if they have the capacity

She quint on my essence until I electroweak

It's the day of the big "trans women in fencing" Senate subcommittee show. I will not be subjecting myself to that shit but I hope everyone involved other than the USA Fencing guy dies.

White smoke - new pope

Black smoke - pope hazy, please try again (popen't)

Blue smoke - brisket

Which would you rather have as a side with vegan chicken tikka masala

Rajma masala (curried red kidney beans) with rice

Or

Rajma pulao (red kidney bean rice pilaf)

Having to speak in coded language about basically every topic is starting to get really mentally burdensome. Marxism is great for becoming a moral agent and being conscious of yourself and the world, but it's extremely lonely when you can see what the problem someone has and can't guide them to the truth because they'll either ignore you, misunderstand the point or superficially pretend to understand it, or attack you in some form.

Burger pope

Life is hell I don't like it.

Makin' spaghetti!

Many years ago I learned to check if spaghetti is done by flinging a noodle at the window and seeing if it sticks. Now as an adult I still repeat this ritual, but I always wonder why I bother when it cooks in the same amount of time every time.

I got a spam text that said

Do you have any vacation plans? It’s a great way to relax!

Which sounds like Pokémon NPC dialogue.

My manager and head of my dept like and trust me, which means I get all of the important work. Unfortunately all of the important work sucks.

I saw a cool bird today. It surprisingly wasn't scared of me at all so I could take a few pictures, and it only left after I had finally taken a good one (seen below).

The great thing about forgetting much of your high school education is you can relearn using Soviet textbooks this time.

Wait, you're telling me there was only 1 war in 1812?

The change from having a work I can walk to to not has affected my fitness level but not my walking pace. I’m not getting winded but it’s still kinda funny to walk at what is a leisurely pace to me and get sweaty and have my heart rate get pretty high.

I have figured out why doctors go insane. Here is a translation of a real conversation:

1: Oh yeah I'm gonna do like 8 hours of dry then take a nap

2: Oh yeah I did like 12 hours of dry yesterday and two hours of wet

1: You benefit from wet?

2: Kind of. But mostly it's more fun to spot wet. Cozier, you know?

1: Wet is just a waste of time IMO (Each litter pronounced and emphasised). Plus there's way more people in dry

2: Yeah you don't have to fight to see anything in wet

Boomers in my life are asking I e-mail everything to them: music, ebooks, manuals, etc. because they refuse to learn how to physically transfer a file. It's so annoying.

young squirrels are too brave. one just took a few steps in through my window but freaked out when i gasped and ran right back outside. the older squirrels know not to come inside so I was really surprised

I may have finally gotten a job, but it’s a seasonal position so I’m making an effort to still apply and take the odd interview.

Does anyone else hate when rejection emails always have the “we received soooo many applications” bullshit? Like is it a demoralization technique, how is this necessary?

To me it reads “We’re spoiled for choice. Fuck you.” and people wonder why there’s a youth unemployment problem? Because you need to meet 100% of the qualifications and beat out hundreds if not thousands for any given job.