this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
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[–] LSNLDN@slrpnk.net 11 points 6 hours ago

This is why the stormtroopers all miss

[–] The_Caretaker@lemm.ee 34 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

When I was in the Army, deployed to Afghanistan, a bunch of junior soldiers (E-4 and below) came in from the field and wanted to get paid. They needed to wait in line at my little office inside of a hardened building. They were talking amongst themselves in the hall while they waited their turn. There were probably 50 of them. A master sergeant (E-7) came in and started yelling at the soldiers telling them to behave like soldiers and get next to the wall and wait quietly without talking. All the soldiers snapped to attention and went silent in a tight single file line against the wall. This dickhead master sergeant then walked past all of the soldiers who had been waiting in line, walked up to the front counter of my office and submitted some paperwork to have his housing allowance changed back in the states because his dependents had moved. I didn't have the rank to argue with him so I smiled and gave him the most polite customer service you could expect from a military finance office. As soon as he left, I put his paperwork directly into the paper shredder (a crime). My fellow finance soldiers saw me do it and laughed. Fuck him for using his rank to cut in line. A non-commissioned officer should put the junior soldiers first and never use their rank to get special privileges. His paperwork got lost. It happens.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 40 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (2 children)

Bikeshed the shit out of everything.

Nazi Germany might have killed less Jews if they spent an excessive amount of time in meetings about which tile to use in the gas chambers.

Edit: "As per mine previous telegram, zee Führer does not vant to spend zee time and money to create a swastika mosaic in zee gas chambers vhen vee are already EIGHT MONTHS BEHIND SCHEDULE!! Please review zee color options vee discussed at our last meeting and let me know how you could like to proceed as soon as possible.

Most sincerely,

Colonel Wilhelm Klink"

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 15 hours ago

Here's the thing: my dad does tiling on a regular basis and he says it's ceramic or it's nothing. Especially when you're working with a caustic gas.

The problem is the grout. You want a grout that isn't going to fall apart after several uses. The color plays an important role on the binding so we really need to commission a study on how much of a mixture we need.

[–] darvocet@infosec.pub 4 points 16 hours ago

Ugh, Adolph asked me to get the whole cabinet together in the warroom at 5. It seems he is not happy with the alpine white. Sounds like we are going to be here all night.

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 203 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

The CIA wrote a manual on how to do this. It's a bit old and parts of it are outdate for some times of work, but a lot of it is still useful.

  • Misunderstand orders. Ask endless questions or engage in long correspondence about such orders
  • Insist on perfect work in relatively unimportant products
  • Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done (some might say normal businesses do this as a matter of course...)
  • Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible
[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 hours ago

This is also the perfect manual for how to cosplay as energy vampire Colin Robinson.

[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 78 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Shit, 80% of the people I work with must have read that manual then. That’s a near daily occurrence.

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 7 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Every web project manager I’ve ever had apparently lived by this manual.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 6 points 14 hours ago

Good for them

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 33 points 18 hours ago

I'm pretty sure this is our company policy

[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 22 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

"What about the droid attack on the wookies?"

[–] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 hours ago

What about the flamethrower attack on the Geonosians?

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 43 points 18 hours ago

I know a federal government employee who spent over half a day writing their "5 things you did last week" email. It seemed like a very important task coming from high up in the administration, so they wanted to take the time to make sure it was done right.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 48 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

can't wait to be accused of being a collaborator just because i've been peter principled into a position i don't understand

[–] throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 hours ago

They can't fire you, because it would mean they have to fire hegseth with his "flawless opsec"

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 24 points 17 hours ago

That’s the neat thing about dictatorships, your behavior is completely irrelevant to how you are treated. If they want to end you, they don’t need a justification.

[–] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 8 points 18 hours ago (3 children)
[–] mzesumzira@leminal.space 26 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

The Peter principle is a concept in management developed by Laurence J. Peter which observes that people in a hierarchy tend to rise to "a level of respective incompetence": employees are promoted based on their success in previous jobs until they reach a level at which they are no longer competent, as skills in one job do not necessarily translate to another.

[–] ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

Thank you for telling me that the Peter principle wasn't named after Peter Griffin

[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 11 points 17 hours ago

The Peter Principle is a concept where people get promoted up to their highest level of incompetence.

If you're good at your job, you get promoted. If you keep being good, you keep getting promoted. But eventually you land in a position that you're not good at.

[–] MeaanBeaan@lemmy.world 8 points 17 hours ago

The Peter principal is the idea that anyone good at their job will keep getting promoted until they are no longer any good at the job they were promoted to. The idea is that anyone who has been in any position for any significant amount of time must be terrible at it otherwise they would have gotten promoted to a different position already.

Personally I think it definitely applies to some people but I don't believe it's the universal rule people make it out to be.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 26 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

While technically true, you're neglecting that a lot of these agencies employ quotas and performance awards and other metrics to track and promote the more hustler-mindset goons while dumping the less enthusiastic. That's been at the heart of the DOGE campaign - finding and removing anyone who might potentially obstruct the administration's agenda in any agency suspected of hosting opposition bureaucrats.

The purges guarantee the admin can bring in loyalists, more dedicated to the optics of the administration than the role of the office. The performance metrics produce a high rate of false positives in investigations, arrests, and prosecutions. But that's not a bug in this system, its a feature. The "oops I'm bad at my job" strategy of internal disruption isn't a bad one on its face, but it is also not one higher ups aren't fully aware of (and often unjustifiably paranoid about). When the fascist regime begins to fail and starts searching for scapegoats, some of the first they pounce on are the incompetent or unenthusiastic agents on the inside.

That's a big reason why mid-level bureaucrats best serve the system by exiting it entirely. Simply leaving an empty desk does more to clog the gears than doing a mediocre job in the role. And you're not around to take the heat when a Trump AG feels the need to arrest a judge or prosecute a prosecutor for failing to torment local residents fast enough.

[–] quetzaldilla@lemmy.world 33 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

There's been quotas and monitoring at every single one of my jobs, and all they do is alienate the talented staff and leaves the loyal morons & the money-driven behind.

The last two firms I worked at are still desperately begging me to come back, three years after I resigned, because the ship is rapidly sinking since their AI replacement strategy did not plan out.

I just resigned my latest position, and I'm gonna take a week or two to get back into making art and music, and then I'm going to take my talent and energy to the organizations fighting back against fascism.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 7 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Man if they offered me like 4x my current pay, I'd go back, but if it's been 3 years I would probably be 3 years less efficient than they expected.

[–] quetzaldilla@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

There was a time when I would have accepted to go back for 3x the pay, or just go back and slack my ass off until I got fired, laughing my way to the bank.

But what changed for me is that I realized they are a bunch of self-serving liars-- and if they screwed me over once, they will totally do it again.

I would be stupid to put myself into that position and be stressed out the whole time trying to anticipate when they are going to pull the rug from underneath me again.

Instead, I rather move on to a new job, meet some new people, get paid to watch training videos which are often interesting and valuable (and if they are not, I just play Balatro on my phone while I half listen to them).

I also almost always get a pay raise when I move on to a new job, but not always. Moving from public accounting to state government accounting was a significant pay cut for me, but now I am going to get much better benefits, work less hours, my coworkers I've met so far are awesome, and the work I am going to do actually helps protect my state and my community. I know I'm going to be much happier in this new role and I value that more than I value money. And if I'm not, I'll just bounce and find something else.

And I know we often think that's easy to say when you don't have kids to feed, and while it is true that I do not, I would much rather explain to my kids that we will all have to learn how to plant a veggie garden together and make do with less before I teach them to accept being abused and exploited for the extra money.

[–] ieatpwns@lemmy.world 14 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

In the face of fascism we’re all underpaid idiots

[–] DasFaultier@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 hours ago
[–] Hupf@feddit.org 1 points 15 hours ago
[–] stinky@redlemmy.com -4 points 14 hours ago (3 children)

context: today is may 1st and we were all supposed to strike today.

that's why context is important, OP. please don't assume everyone knows what you know. the information in our heads is different from the information in your head. it's called theory of mind and most people develop it in early childhood. idiot.

[–] smoker@lemm.ee 6 points 11 hours ago

I didn’t know this. I didn’t see any indication that OP knew this (or to the contrary). Maybe you should practice what you preach.

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 1 points 8 hours ago

I'm so confused what you are responding to

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Every day is a good day to strike against oppressive establishment.

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 hours ago

If I somehow live to reach retirement, I'm not going to retire. I'm just going to go on permanent strike.