this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
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Facepalm

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[–] Fermion 72 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hegseth has got to stop leaking his chats.

[–] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Congratulations!!!!

You win the internet today

[–] Asafum 64 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can't help but imagine a table full of people holding their glasses up to cheer and one person upside down with their bare ass in the air lol

[–] Gott@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 1 week ago

Not just a bare ass, but a bare ass with either a beer bong or a turkey baster inserted into it.

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 47 points 1 week ago (2 children)

There's something extra fun about this post in that alcohol taken anally is far more effective since it bypasses the digestive tract and gets absorbed directly into the blood stream from the colon. Like 2 oz vodka mixed with 4 oz lubricant shot up in an enema will have you SMASHED. So having a few glasses of wine put up there will make that a very memorable Thanksgiving.

[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Memorable for everyone else, yeah.

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ohhhhh yeah.

Had a fling with someone who was into butt chugging for a bit. To not get inappropriately wasted, they'd have 2 oz of wine for an entire evening. This would put them at just past tipsy and they were like 6 ft tall, for reference.

[–] Bobby_shmurda@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I need to hear more about this person.

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They were a phenomenal fencer in their heyday and continue to make just the most amazing cookies.

[–] Bobby_shmurda@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Sounds like a person of renaissance, a true warrior poet.

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

I remember a case a few years ago where a woman was charged with manslaughter or something similar in the death of her husband. He wasn’t supposed to have alcohol at all for medical reasons but really wanted it. At his request she gave him an alcohol enema which killed him. IIRC they had been warned specifically against doing that, which was part of why she was charged.

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 25 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Since no one's answered the question, yes it would show up on a test.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

As long as it doesn't kill you because you are bypassing your liver and stomach that way and it'd be super easy to overdo it.

[–] Mustakrakish@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Just a few glasses" with no hint of irony

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

That was a segment on "1,000 Ways to Die"

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

But not the breath analyser right? Do they use analanalyser, or just bloodtest?

[–] rektdeckard@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

The breathalyzer tests the alcohol in the breath. An analyzer tests it...well I'll let you figure that out.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It would show up on a breathalyzer. It doesn't measure what you drank, but rather what's in your blood.

[–] KelvarIW@lemmy.blahaj.zone -2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

no a breathalyzer is the machine they make drivers blow into to check the alcohol in their breath. That machine then estimates your Blood Alcohol Content. This is why it's generally advised to refuse a breathalyzer in lieu of a blood test, which draws blood and analyzes that sample directly.

~~That said, any probation-ordered test is certainly a blood test, because only a blood test could check for other drugs besides alcohol.~~

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The breathalyzer works because you're body tries to remove some of the alcohol through your lungs, not because of leftover traces from the physical act of drinking. That's why none of the various things people stuff in their mouth to try to fool the breathalyzer work.

[–] KelvarIW@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 6 days ago

oh wow you're right. that's pretty cool to know.

[–] FugginJerk@lemmy.today 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's... I don't know where you got that from... Probation doesn't take blood samples. You pee in a cup. Trust me. I got 4 months left... And refusing a breathalyzer is so that you avoid blowing way to high on a DUI charge. If your twice the limit there's a stiffer penalty. By not blowing, you lose your license for a year automatically, at least in the state of Florida, but you can avoid fucking yourself by not submitting to a breathalyzer.

[–] KelvarIW@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

ooooh right it is peeing in a cup for probation drug tests. The blood sample is when you get pulled over. mb mb - got a little off-track. Either way it's not a breath test. And I'm pretty sure a breath test would return clean if you drank vodka one night and got tested the next morning

I'm not sure about Florida but I'm pretty sure you have the ability to opt into a blood test for DUIs, like you can choose to not to a Field Test (and you always should, those are completely arbitrary) - in lieu of other options. Maybe it's a state thing. I don't live in Florida. Fuck the USA.

[–] FugginJerk@lemmy.today 2 points 1 week ago

Well, no... They don't do blood samples when you get pulled over here for DUI either. If your in an accident and can't submit a breathalyzer they will draw blood at a hospital. You either take the breathalyzer or you don't. If you fail the field sobriety test and refuse the breathalyzer, it's a DUI, automatic one year driving suspension. Mandatory minimum. And, not to be an ass, but if you could refrain from he whole "Fuck the USA" thing, it would be appreciated. It didn't add to the context of an intelligent conversation and It's not our fault the POTUS is an aggravating, shit-pot stirring old fuck... I mean, it kind of is... I voted, but not for that prick. Thanks.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Found Kavanaugh's alt account!

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

One day you're just a normal guy, then - BOOF - you're on the supreme court.

And if you don't remember why, you should unplug your butt

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
[–] entwine413@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But they really only test for it if they think you're drinking at work

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

It's r/probation. If he got a DUI or something, he wouldn't be allowed to drink, and they do random testing.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

To answer this guy's question, yes, it would show up, because the alcohol is present in your blood, and thus, your pee.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Actually it's not normal to have blood in your pee

[–] Breezy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Naw, i think thats just you.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ah, you're right, must have been a blockage in the pee tube. I picked around with a needle in there, and now I also get blood. Thanks!

[–] Breezy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Always glad to help someone increase their blood flow!

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

The poop hole loophole only goes so far.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 week ago

I wonder which option their family would prefer...

[–] nesc@lemmy.cafe 5 points 1 week ago
[–] MrSulu@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 week ago

The science says that for it to work, you need two Turkey drumsticks in first to soak up the alcohol quickly afterwards. Even better with mash, carrots and stuffing

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 week ago

This is a complete new level of stupid.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 week ago

Im suprosed wine enemas aren't a recommended cure for Measles by the new and improved health department.