this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

Bottle of water. Wash with hand.

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 14 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I got onboard the bidet train during the Covid lockdown. Simple to add on at my apartment. It was my #1 request when I moved to my GF's house. We replaced the whole toilet with the upgrades.

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Yup. Same. Feels way better. It's just like taking a shower after every dump.

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Yay, bidet!

[–] Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 16 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

"Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You'd wash it. So why is your butthole any different?" - Detective Allen Gamble, 'The Other Guys'

[–] uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 1 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

My butthole is very different from my face and I hope that is true for everyone else as well

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

Lip skin is the same as butthole skin

Be kind

Bidet and wipe

[–] StJohnMcCrae@slrpnk.net 10 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Different enough that you don't mind having shit smeared all around it?

[–] uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 2 points 7 hours ago

Different enough that I'm fine with thoroughly wiping my ass. That's hardly "having shit smeared all around". I'm regularly under the shower and that's good enough for me.

[–] 7toed@midwest.social 11 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Reading this on a toilet without a bidet :(

Please send your prayers

[–] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 9 points 13 hours ago

Thought and prayers 🙏

[–] frezik@midwest.social 7 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (10 children)

I like the bidet's we have at home, but I don't get the ones that are separate from the toilet. Saw this type when visiting San Juan, PR once. Their plumbing system can't handle toilet paper very well, so it's all bidets with a stack of washed towels.

Not only do they take up extra space in the bathroom, but are you supposed to waddle over to this thing with a dingleberry hanging out? I don't get why you'd want that.

The one argument I've heard in their favor is from people with vaginas who don't like the idea of the built-in sprayer catching bits of poop that'll get in their cootch.

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[–] B4kst33n@lemmy.world 9 points 15 hours ago (6 children)

So, maybe I'm missing something here, but bidets don't seem all that great? Everyone on the internet is always proclaiming life changing experiences with these things. However, when I recently used them they don't seem to do very much. My butthole is still poopy and when I wipe to dry my ass the toilet paper tears.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 1 points 3 hours ago

I was like you a few years ago.

The crappy ones feel like that.

Then I sat on a fancy one that sang me a lullaby and gave me positive encouragement as I pooped. My god, my entire butthole is so fresh.

I now understand.

[–] StJohnMcCrae@slrpnk.net 10 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Clearly needs more hydro pressure

[–] swampdownloader@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Some are better than others in both power and nozzle angle/placement. Sometimes you have to shimmy to get the angle just right if the power is low. It should result in a wipe in which no fecal matter remains, only wetness, if executed properly.

[–] fishy@lemmy.today 7 points 11 hours ago

Exactly. There's a learning curve but once you've got it, you dread wipe only bathrooms. Installed a bidet on one of my toilets six months ago and now that's the only toilet anybody in the house poops in unless it's already occupied.

[–] bluewing@lemm.ee 6 points 14 hours ago

You need to use the power washer setting. Takes the paint right off the wall.....

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