this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] lka1988@sh.itjust.works 98 points 2 months ago
[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 95 points 2 months ago (2 children)

When corporations put fecal matter in the water supply, that’s just the will of the free market and the natural order of things. When you do it, however, all of a sudden it’s “endangerment of life”. Double standard much?

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The first two rules of breaking the law without consequences:

  1. Be rich
  2. Don’t be poor
[–] napkin2020@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 months ago

Try taking legal actions with them and millions of people would argue how you're killing corporates and let commies take over.

[–] PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat 89 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Potentially taking legal action?

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 67 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I’d definitely be pressing for criminal charges in that situation!

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Abnorc@lemm.ee 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Putting something full of dangerous bacteria in the water supply isn’t just a prank. If someone put some food safe additive in there to make the water taste or smell bad it’d be less of an issue. (Still a jerk move, debatably.)

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee -4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Lemmy and recognizing when some is joking, a great "what if"

[–] JonnyRobbie@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

Someone is joking in greentext of all places and they took it seriously lol.

[–] OlPatchy2Eyes@slrpnk.net 0 points 2 months ago

The threadiverse's median reading level is about 5th grade

[–] StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 68 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Remember kids, when doing a crime, check your surroundings first

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 51 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or don't. These kinds of people should be caught. Ideally, they should be made an example of. Not just punitive justice, but frightening, deterring justice.

Exactly. People need to learn to check their surroundings first, and those that don't should be made an example of.

[–] laranis@lemmy.zip 55 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sus. If there was a security camera they would have checked that first.

Keep your head down anon, it is a bluff.

Also, stop putting shit in drinking water you sick fuck.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Poop has DNA from the depositor.

[–] laranis@lemmy.zip 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can your employer compel you to provide a DNA sample?

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Don’t know but this is probably a crime. So a cop can.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"What is this, wolf hair?"

1000025099

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Inconclusive inconclusive

I highly doubt they're going to pay for a DNA test...

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago

May i give you a shit pebble in these trying times?

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 7 points 2 months ago

Remember kids: you're supposed to shit on the toilet, not on the water cooler.