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What is your current general sense of actually existing socialist countries (current or historical)? This might be a good place to get a better understanding of some concepts.
Also take a look over here for some of the basics topics if you need to gauge your political development: https://hexbear.net/c/librehab
Generally speaking I think I view china negatively but that's probably because I live in America and honestly don't know much about it. Sinophobia etc etc. But honestly until recently the only other socialist country I even knew existed was Vietnam.
I think more authoritarian governments just make me a bit nervous.
Comrade, you need to get on board with the Cuba pill. Listen to Blowback Season 2 and embrace the 
I'll just say that Blowback, in general, is great for the Imperialist brainworms. While season 1 is Iraq, which most people "know", the following seasons are really incredible in developing some of the insanity that 
has engaged in over the 20th c.
Seconding Blowback, I'm six episodes in and went from "Hmm I feel icky about Cuba" to "Holy fucking shit I can't believe we would do that to them, I unequivocally support Cuba"
The news from Cuba is even better since the season aired. Their constitution is now more progressive to LGBTQ people than
Thank you :D
You're welcome. 
I want you to know this video utterly shattered my world view when I watched it.
Lol, awesome. That's what Blackshirts and Reds did for me. Very much recommend reading/listening to those books on the list I linked. Actually, can you see the comment I linked? Lemmy can be funny about comment accessibility on deleted posts.
If you're not much of a reader, check out parenti's other vids and make sure to listen to the Blowback podcast. season 2 is Cuba and 3 is Korea, they're also very eye opening. If you want, I can drop you some more vids.
Lol, blackshirts and reds was the first leftist book I read and I have listened to all 4 seasons of blowback. I'm currently reading capital
Oh lol you're on your way then. 
Season 5 of Blowback is on Cambodia. I just listened to episode seven this morning, fascinating stuff.