I did not expect this this post of mine to attract as many people minimising SA as it did. Bit of a downer, yeah.
this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
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chapotraphouse
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The lingering parts of patriarchy are the hardest to dismantle. Like I try real hard to not use sexist words but then I see a guy whine on the jobsite "oh what a b-" and I gotta catch myself. I'd never call a woman that word but that instinct is still there when I see a man who can't hack it. It's dumb but it's a real struggle to unlearn it.
Wondering if its the same one Im on. Had a long drawn out discussion with some guy who claimed to be "very left" and hates sexual violence against women, then defended men who committed sexual violence against women. How can we get anywhere when people are telling you you're in the wrong, and rather than self reflect, argue back.
What I’ve learned is that all you can do is say your piece and hope for the best because many of these guys aren’t going to make it.
I think men that see bad behaviour by other men, or hear stories of bad behaviour should call that out, but to be fair, you’re potentially going to end up on the recieving end of violence…
That hasn’t been my experience so far thankfully.
I don't get guys like that. I've seen horrible things and all it does is make me want to see less of that. Sorry I don't want to get into details but I've seen some really awful things. I've mentioned it before but there's a reason I don't like the whole "true crime" fad
The only healthy way I’ve been able to get over calling other men a bitch for whining at work is to just realize they aren’t whining because the work is hard, they’re whining because no matter how much you work, or how much effort you put in, you won’t truly get ahead. Most men don’t actually realize that though so this is how it’s expressed unfortunately.
We've not even begun to dismantle patriarchy we've just made it so men aren't patriarchs by default.