this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] Egon@hexbear.net 59 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm not really sorry, it sounds horrific but she was who she was...

Honestly it sounds like a scene out of a 00's Ben Stiller comedy. It sounds like a deleted scene from Zoolander. All his friends died except for one, who then put his car in reverse and slowly drowned in a pond.
The fact that they call it a pond even! Not a lake, that would be too big. She drowned in a fucking pond! There's about three carps that will feast on her for years to come.

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 42 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry to report that all three carps have perished after a brief moment of being the least depressed beings in existance, due to lithium poisoning

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 40 points 11 months ago

THAT explains how her death was tragic! RIP to three real ones