this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2025
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Thank you for your response. As you can probably tell, I wasn't aware of the details of the procedure, and how much the timelines matter. I never felt the need to find out before because in general I trust healthcare professionals (and do support this type of care), but understanding more about it is certainly helpful and educational. Of course I can Google things, but then we miss the opportunity to learn from one another, right?
About your advice of talking to our doctor about when my son says he's a girl. This is really interesting to me. I had not considered it before at all, didn't even cross my mind, and I can immediately say I won't take him now. There's multiple reasons for that that are of a personal nature that I won't share here, but I can tell why I'm immediately dismissive of the idea. These are personal beliefs.
He's still very young and he's just figuring out that there's the concept of gender, and that we in general use these labels for one type and other. It's not something that is currently of any concern to me, not at home, nor the community we live in. All we care about is that he's happy, healthy, and that he becomes a good person at this stage. I believe that giving this any weight now, will make it into a thing. I don't want to influence this, he's just a tiny kid. Of course that would all change if it persists. If the school starts giving signals that something is afoot for example. But I imagine that that will still take quite some time. Again a personal belief here (and perhaps more controversial here): to me it feels like doing this now, in the situation we're in, feels like a gross overreaction (albeit orders of magnitude less extreme than immediately think about something like conversion therapy!). I think it's just completely normal behaviour, why consult a doctor? He's in a safe environment and can figure thing out for himself for now.
If my kid finds himself in this position, I will do everything in my power to make this as smooth as possible. He will not be traumatised by this if he wants this.
I do thank you for the suggestion, I hadn't thought about it myself and understand it comes from a good place.
Honestly agreed at that age.
Just remember there's outside influences. If you aren't clearly demonstrating you are supportive now, regardless of whether she changes her mind later or not, she's likely to learn is something to be ashamed of and to keep a secret. After internalizing that, it can be hard to trust people even if they're trying to be supportive. Personally, I can remember hiding things by around the age of 7 or 8. My mom was supportive of gender non-conforming behavior, but only at home and that (combined with broader interactions with people) just taught me it was something to hide, including from my mom.
Just make sure he feels like he can tell you anything.
If he’s scared to talk to you, he’s going to end up resenting you.