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Evangelicals are now rejecting 'liberal' teachings of Jesus (www.newsweek.com)

submitted 2 years ago by keenkoon@lemm.ee to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 164 points 2 years ago (5 children)

Also, he wasn't white. Which I know really offends their sensibilities.

Jewish too.

[–] utopianfiat@lemmy.world 91 points 2 years ago

The Nazis came up with this concept of "German Christianity" or "Positive Christianity" that essentially took Christianity and emphasized its differences from Judaism, while downplaying Jesus as the messiah and elevating the Führer as the herald of a new covenant. I know we're all joking here but this kind of thing has been done before, over, and over, and over.

[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 78 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Next you'll tell me he didn't speak American.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 56 points 2 years ago (2 children)

He's also never even watched the Superbowl.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 2 years ago

And he didn't like that kid's Facebook post and now they're dead!

[–] athos77@kbin.social 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Or waved the American flag!! He's never even carried a gun!

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Or misquoted the bible to prove a point, can you believe it!??

[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Biblical Jesus misquoted the OT multiple times, the kinds of misquotes an Aramaic speaking Jewish rabbi would not have made. And only referenced parts of the OT that were translated into a popular Greek translation of a subset of the what is now the Hebrew Bible.

Almost as if he didn't exist at all.

[–] TopShelfVanilla@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

I'll bet he didn't even speak in red letters.

[–] athos77@kbin.social 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And he spent his personal time hanging with twelve of his favorite homies.

[–] Qualanqui@lemmy.nz 11 points 2 years ago

See and this is how I know it's all bullshit, what man in his mid to late thirties still has twelve friends? I've never even had twelve friends at the same time before.

[–] WashedOver@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But American Jeebus is so Kick Ass. He carries a machine gun and shoots immigrants like Rambo without the Vietnamese love interest, but let's be honest that's OK too? /s

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You mean Supply Side Jesus?

[–] CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

SS Jesus 👌

[–] barsoap@lemm.ee -3 points 2 years ago

Oh what a fucking Seppo-brained take. Best idea of what he looked like we have is that he looked like your average Palestinian (no shit Sherlock), that is, pretty much the same as half a gazillion people from the Mediterranean over Iran to fucking India.