this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2025
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I don't think I've ever met someone organically and then dated them
They say workplace relationships don't work and they're probably right, but the problem is that's the only place you ever meet anyone these days.
When you befriend the people at your workplace, you will also meet their friends.
That's wishful thinking. I might be befriendable, but I'm not fit to introduce to people.
Have you tried shitpost dating?
https://lemmy.world/post/27886845
When everyone in your workplace is a transplant, their friends are just other coworkers
Which is not a bad start to make more friends.
Before you started working you meet people at school, well, take classes and meet people you don't work with!
meeting women is really easy if you're friends with women. they always have single friends who they'd be happy to introduce you to. obviously don't be friends with women just for this purpose though
That requires having time to be friends with and meet people
If you don't have time for friends you definitely don't have time for dating.
It feels Machiavellian to do something like befriending people or playing sports that I would not otherwise do
Agreed, but seems like then you should do it for yourself (physical and mental health, stimulation from learning skills, broadening horizons) and if you make friends in the process that's cool.
That only works out if you are attractive to begin with.
Most people have good qualities that make them attractive (if you have none then that might be something to work on). Just treat women like they are ordinary human beings (which they are) - ask questions, listen to the answers, check back with them at a later date to see if that thing they mentioned worked out, offer to help if they have a problem, etc.
I lack good qualities, true. I don't know if that could be worked on, as large part of it is me being ASD.
I treat women as you said, it's simply that they generally avoid me.
Most men can drastically improve their appearance with some effort. Best plan for this is to ask your closest female friends what you can do. Also, having an attractive personality counts for a lot (potentially more than looks depending on the woman) assuming you aren't fuck ugly.
Welp, I am simply at another level of ugliness. Also friends? What is this thing called "a friend"?
If you want, send me a pic (privately) and I'll tell you if it's really over or what you can do to look better. As for friends, that's more complicated, but I got all my friends by talking to strangers in public.
I asked out my coworker about a week ago.
I can't recommend against it enough.
Yeah I think that's common, but it's literally how we've been doing it since, well, forever.
Big Tech wants you to think it's scAAaRRrry BooOoOOo!
(I mean, tbf, sometimes it is. Also humiliating lol).
I have! Once, in highschool, it went poorly
Opposite for me. I've gone on plenty of first dates via apps, and a few second dates, but have only ever "dated" people that I happened to meet organically.