this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2025
317 points (97.0% liked)
Gay: News, Memes and Discussion
2085 readers
516 users here now
Welcome to /c/Gay - Your LGBTQ+ Haven
We're more than just a community; we're your haven for celebrating LGBTQ+ culture and connecting with like-minded individuals.
Community Rules:
~ 1. No bigotry. Hating someone off of their race, culture, creed, sexuality, or identity is not remotely acceptable. Mistakes can happen but do your best to respect others.
~ 2. Keep it civil. Disagreements will happen. That's okay! Just don't let it make you forget that the person you are talking to is also a person. This includes speculating about someones sexuality, no matter how "obvious" it may be.
~ 4. Keep it LGBTQ+ related. This one is kind of a gimme but keep as on topic as possible.
~ 5. Keep posts to a limit. We all love posts but 3-4 in an hour is plenty enough.
~ 6. Try to not repost. Mistakes happen, we get it! But try to not repost anything from within the past 1-2 months.
~ 7. No General AI Art. Posts of simple AI art do not 'inspire jamaharon' and fuck over our artist friends.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Why is partner more common than spouse? Is it because gay marriage was only recently legalized? I just find the word reminds me too much of business jargon and buddy cop movies.
I personally like my chosen one, cause then it's like we are in an epic quest together.
It also covers fiancees and pre-engagement relationships.
Or any relationship with an SO for that matter. I feel like the term, "Pre-engagement relationship" suggests that the procession into marriage is somehow requisite to the development of a relationship.
And start-ups and law firms.
And lots of work relationships where you're paired with someone. I used to love freaking out my conservative acquaintances when I'd start talking about my partner, and would always be very careful to only mention aspects that made them think the partner was the same gender as me. Eventually they catch on, but for a while they get oh so worried (tm) that I'm homosexual and am talking about a relationship rather than work.
Also, to me it feels like it's more like 'equal partners in a relationship'. 'My wife' or 'my girlfriend' often sounds a little possessive.
I assume it has a lot to do with ideas around autonomy, ownership, monogamy/polyamory, etc. where conventional language is either uncomfortable or misleading.
I like partner personally because it eschews ownership, and instead promotes autonomy.
probably because partner is pareja and that's gender neutral, while spouse is esposo/a and that's gendered. Spanish being one of the world's most spoken languages does have an effect too.
Yeah. It's sterile and contrived, IMHO. We have 'spouse'; it's on forms already. In the days before everyone was misspelling names for attention (Hi D'wayne; this is Duane) its less sterile sterility would be the perfect sterility for sterile people.
My wife and I were together decades before marriage. I can tell you no one cares about what your home life is like. You're just not that important. And that's the takeaway: use what you want, no one cares, and I'll clarify every damned time.
word connotations have power in public discourse. its part of why languages shift we're constantly attempting to avoid meanings that cause stress.
Partner's prevalence imo (without any study to back this up) is less about gay marriage and more about equality between heterosexual couples. There is a lot of gendered baggage in hetero terminology. Gay marriage and the transition of hetero couples from gendered terms to neutral terms are a correlated phenomenon. Basically they likely have the same underlying cause but one did not cause the other.
My guess is its the acknowledgement of equality between people in relationships and the rejection of government defined roles at the root cause of both changes.
Oh, so that's what bigots mean when they talk about the gays destroying traditional family values.
(feigned surprise)
"My chosen one" yeah, I like that.