chapotraphouse

Body-based, but you don't necessarily recognize it as such. It's more a sense that something is off or wrong and you may not even be able to articulate it if you have any mental barriers preventing you from questioning things that you feel are tied up heavily within your own sense of self. Most people do.

For me at least, it was like a low-level depression that tinged everything, and I kept it drowned out by constantly keeping myself preoccupied with other things. I eventually hit a point where it was like an intrusive, self-destructive impulse. Any time that I was alone with my thoughts, I'd have no way of shutting it out, and controlling that impulse got very difficult.