profgrumpypants

I wish I knew it ever stopped. You can put some space between you and your pain, but I think once in love always in love. Best I can say is that love isn't finite, and you can always go and find some more to share.

Oh, that's really cute! I never thought about it, but it'd be a really fun game to play in Japanese. I have met my fair share of games East/West that load up on Proton and then close. I tend to return them, unless I know someone in my family wants to play them as well. I am the only one on Linux, tbh.

*No worries! I play pretty much exclusively pixel/text based games. I am not hurting. I can also emulate consoles, so I figure I am winning. I love desktops though. They're just hard to move, and I like to travel light nowadays.

Idk, because there are games that were Western ports without any Japanese in them. But also I don't really care, because what I want to play are now probably all considered "retro" games and I just emulate them instead. That works fine.

Oh I get that. I haven't done AAA gaming in a hundred years, but I think perhaps if everything is drab it might be to counter the hyper-saturation that has taken over gaming for quite some time. I am not sure though. I know that one of the Monster Hunters was created with the intention of appealing to a Western audience. Making things look rather "grown" and I think that this game for the tiny bit I saw is a further extension of this. I can't say a thing about gameplay, but I think perhaps things are so disjointed because of this. Ultimately though, I am not an "active" gamer or in the community. I often wonder "what do people want nowadays!?" if everything is getting review bombed out the gate. I mean clearly people are mad, but I am not sure what could counter that.

I am not a major gamer anymore. I play whatever I want to, when it catches my interest. But I pretty much play simple stuff. When I want to play games with "fancy graphics" it tends to be Japanese based. I like the stylized higher-end graphics of Japanese games over other countries. Even Chinese based ones. There is just a nice beauty to them. I don't know studios like that anymore, which is why I didn't go through the list. But equally, it really isn't important to me personally - so I don't have recall on them. I just know I tried a series of different Japanese games that I had both in my library already, as well as have purchased over the past couple of years. I have had consistent crash issues. I don't think Japanese studios care that much about computer ports. I can't even run Elin on my damn computer. I don't care, because there are many games out there. I can also emulate many of the games I am interested in. The money doesn't go to the developer, but I can't help that if it is impossible for me to play it.

The biggest intention I had in saying what I said - is that I wanted people to know it's not all roses. Even using Wine to emulate wonderful programs that I loved on Windows, Black Ink for example (my most used Steam product) is absolutely abysmal on Linux. I gave up, and switched to Krita. 10/10 would rather use Black Ink. I can dual boot, but Windows is a CREEP. I would rather lose accessibility to items, than continue to work in the Microsoft environment. I just hate when people show only the good sides of things, especially social media content/influencers, when in actuality there are issues which must be addressed and in turn stop the casual user from utilizing something they want to. I am sure there are hoops someone can jump to gain whatever they want. I will jump those hoops for exceptional things. Most things, I will lay to rest. This, I laid to rest. I have had issues with Square Enix games. I do not play their new stuff, so that could be it. Also, just because something is Deck Verified doesn't mean it'll work outside of there. Even when checking Proton.db.

This isn't some "Wuhan flu" stuff. This is me bringing my valid experience while using one of the most commonly sold graphics cards. Just to let others know that while things are great, they're not perfect.

I remember I bought some tapes a hundred years ago from some sweet asshole (they exist) at some so and such. I used the codes for Bandcamp, and never touched those damn tapes. I swore I would try to curb any of that mindless "quaint" spending. I have, but in general I just wish we had less stuff on this planet as a whole. I love paper. So damn much. It's my favorite thing to draw on. I make sure what I am using is explicitly used, instead of gathered. If you're using your tape-y, tapes - then it's working out. People used tape-y, tapes all the time back in the day. You're not weird, you're just a person who enjoys what they like and like I said at one point what you liked was the norm. Or actually, if you have ADHD - you are weird, cause we all are. So I take that back!

I don't do studios like that anymore but I will say that I have had trouble. Also, as someone who is Japanese, I am not out here trying to bash Japanese games specifically. I just know that I have explicitly had issues repeatedly with Japanese games. Which is why I want to warn people. Because I am not going to go out of my way to play them. I know there are other people who are migrating who are in the same boat. I hate when people say "Oh, everything is peachy" because it's not. There are issues, and people should be aware of them.

You can get money under the table in the US pretty easily. You can also work a certain number of hours and still be okay for benefits. I don't have jack to say. I've known tons of people who've gotten on. Nobody lives well as a low-income individual but making the best out of something over diving into the misery of a tough situation is absolute nonsense.

This might sound awful, but if you have contact with any family or former close friends it might be time to contact them. Likewise check in with shelters in the area. I am not sure of your gender identity, but they're usually separated by such. Not all things that are hobbies cost money, believe it or not. In America, you can be on disability and work. So that's why I am not entirely clear of the ins and outs of your system. It was just a suggestion. Likewise, there are ways to work without claiming the cash. Is all I am saying. I am not saying that disabled people should get out there, I am saying this world is cruel and finding ways to negate this help in times of crisis in my opinion. I can't force you to do anything. I know nothing of the systems you are navigating. Society doesn't hate people who don't work. Society hates people, period. I mean most people. To be honest. I think it's due to a lot of cruelty that we have developed in waves en masse against people who are different in any way shape or form. It seems like the people who get to the top are the ones who can play this system. Everyone else is a disaster away from a fall.

I am not sure how you're accessing this, and I don't know what programs you have - but if you can get a free phone - I'd get one now. I am not sure why your benefits were stopped, but I'd try and be in someone's asshole about that. Outside of that, you might want to start writing, is what I was going to suggest. Not to the world (unless you want to) but instead organizing your thoughts and creating a series of plans from worst-case to best-case and try and execute best-case first and if that's off the table keep going until worst case. Because you don't want to be another person with a disability on the street. Exposed living is rough.

Fuck the hobbies though, if you're about to lose your housing. Just focus on getting safe from there. But do try at some point if and when you are safe to integrate a hobby. It really can be zero-cost if you choose something light. I express this as a means to find joy, and reprieve from daily pains. Finding a support group really might help as well. Because when you're in pain, you feel like the only human alive going through your experience. We've all got our something though. GL! You're gunna be okay, just don't quit even if it's the hard stuff. Tell people what you need. Make your needs reasonable. Communication (firm communication) is key, especially if it's between you and the streets. Your landlady is not sympathetic. TBH, I think she should be the last to know about anything. Stay in people's minds when fixing things. You can be one of two things from my time in shitty situations: A pleasure, or an awful pain. Pick one. People will help sweet people, because it'll be a story of triumph amongst the misery. People will also help shitheads, because they want to get them as far away as possible from their existence. That means processing them fast, and getting them to be someone else's problem. I've got nothing else but to say good luck (again, cause it takes it). Just get out there (metaphorically or literally) and do what you need to do in order to keep yourself safe.

I think people would have complained about the graphics had it been Switch-esq. Although I too like them more too.

Hey, you need a hug. I am sorry you're being pinched for cash. Can you afford the upcoming hike? Can you re-budget to make it work?

A lot of people feel like disabled individuals are a burden. Disabled people feel like a burden. People get stacked with situations they have to handle. Clearly your landlady is stacked with one. Also the more people get squeezed, the less compassion they have as a whole. If you can, I would suggest you either save your money or figure out a way to increase your income. I know nothing of your country though. I am just suggesting as a safety net you can utilize pending you find yourself in a horrible situation. This might sound rough, and it sounds like it's hard to find another place to rent, but perhaps look into that if you cannot agree to her standards. Maybe even a room? I am not sure what kind of access you need though. Otherwise, just be cordial enough to get through. Many do not do emotional please, they don't really care about emotions as a whole. So it's useless to utilize.

Outside of that, if you can plausibly remove yourself from some of the negative media you're taking in. Try to find some peace for your own soul. Even if you're in incredible amounts of pain, try to find a way to give yourself kindness. It doesn't have to come in the form of food. Or buying things, really at all. Just perhaps picking up a small hobby you can enjoy. I am not sure where the resources are online, but there might be a support group you can join. Likewise, not sure what is available in your area but you might be able to find someone who can help emotionally support you and meet you at a sustainable level to your income.

I am not sure if any of this helps, but just try your best to give yourself a little fresh air from time to time (even if it's from a window), eat as best as you can (even if it's all crap - eat the best crap you can), and try to de-escalate your pain through self-kindness.

Drink water!

Hugs!

You bother, because you are. When you're not, you won't bother. Just keep bothering, because you're worth bothering over.

What a little cutie! Who's the off-screen buddy?