myster0n

How do you become an umpire? Do you become one when you're bitten by another umpire?

"Look, democrats, I'm on your side again! Please buy my cars"

Good thing it wasn't a 4x100m relay.

We're all gonna die unless I grow as a person

Belgians: "... what?"

What if my next six months are my last six months?

The real advice is always in the comments

It's more like : oopsie woopsie! The train has broken down. We're trying very hard to fix it. Maybe you'd better take a bike (or "bwike")

^w^^h^^a^^t^ ^a^^b^^o^^u^^t^ ^m^^e^^?^

He looks here as if it's taken moments after he asks "is this the queue for people with diarrhea?"

Yes, but what creature would openly admit to being related to us?