drbollocks

i have a lot going on besides that. just broke up with a guy, realized i wasn’t even into guys (but it stung more that he didn’t pay attention to me/care regardless), then having some rocky relationships with my gf (open relationship) and long-time friend, the latter i’m cutting contact with. (meaning i will only talk to her if i have to or if she talks to me first)

with all of this, my anxiety’s acting up and i’m a bit (still although it got better) on edge.

(im going to say that im a lesbian, first off, and maybe i just feel this way about relationships with men because i’m in a bad spot, or in other words, pissed.)

part of the reason i broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years was because i figured out im a lesbian and couldn’t see myself dating nor attracted to a man.

the other part? he wasn’t there for me as of recent.

he was pansexual and i was a gay/bi trans guy. i met him through a friend, and he lost contact with the friend sometime after he met me and only we talked (our only mutual friend after that was some VERY controversial guy from tiktok but due to said controversy, we stopped being in contact with him and he blocked us).

a lot of the new friends we made on his discord server started to make silly jokes about us, like “get a room you two!” or “are you sure you guys aren’t dating?” it was very casual, i had feelings for him so i was just like “ if he wants to 🤷‍♀️” and he replied with “yeah ok why not :)”

so after that, we were a couple. we talked a lot as friends, we talked a lot as boyfriends. then i got a girlfriend (the deal was that we could date if we knew about the people, and he knew about my gf). we broke up the first time and she acted really cruel (saying i abused/assaulted her, either acted this way because i was a guy or because i was trans. maybe both). this made me feel terrible for MONTHS due to having bad-ish attachment issues.

i detransitioned after that, since the very thought of being a man reminded me of our relationship/breakup.

he, however, was there for me during it. at least, when he could be.

there would be periods that would last several weeks where i would hear nothing from him. even when i would see he read my messages and posted on social media, he would not respond to my messages. ever.

then he would be like, “sorry, i was at work” or “sorry, i was staying at someone’s house for a while”. i was quite forgiving and was honestly just worried about him.

then, it happened more frequently, again and again. he would hardly say he loved me or show any affection. my “friend” told me this was normal in relationships and thought i was crazy for thinking otherwise.

sometimes, he would say he loved me and actually be there for me, but he recently started leaving me on read again. i broke up with him and decided i was a lesbian since i kind of lost feelings and couldn’t see myself with a man or even attracted to one.

[so, im still kind of pissed at him, confused about my attraction a little, and at a rocky relationship with my “friend” and girlfriend.]

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/22098369

(found this community more fitting because im a lesbian, also because I see people get downvoted a lot in advice communities despite being made for advice)

she’s just not a very active person online. when she is, shes only active in group chats with her friends.

usually, she talks about video games, and is actually offline because she plays video games almost all the time.

is there any way to salvage the relationship? she’s too focused on her interests to be interested in mine, and like I said, is almost always playing games so we barely talk aside from: “hi ❤️” “Hi sweetie ❤️” “hru??” “Good, just playing games, you?” “good :)) im listening to music” and then the conversation ends because she doesn’t message first and is busy with the other stuff.

(i have tried talking to her and she says she’s usually busy. shes either genuinely busy, busy with games, or in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like talking [sad/tired])

she either types “oh!” “…/.” or “erm what 😨” when i say smth

also, shes quite dry around me, often giving like one word responses and only being super energetic around her friends and when posting about video games.

idk if she’s actually just busy or making excuses, since shes usually talking to her friends or other partner (open relationships)

she’s just not a very active person online. when she is, shes only active in group chats with her friends.

usually, she talks about video games, and is actually offline because she plays video games almost all the time.

is there any way to salvage the relationship? she’s too focused on her interests to be interested in mine, and like I said, is almost always playing games so we barely talk aside from: “hi ❤️” “Hi sweetie ❤️” “hru??” “Good, just playing games, you?” “good :)) im listening to music” and then the conversation ends because she doesn’t message first and is busy with the other stuff.

(i have tried talking to her and she says she’s usually busy. shes either genuinely busy, busy with games, or in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like talking [sad/tired])

I created !Crushes@lemmy.blahaj.zone for the people who have crushes

!crushes@lemmy.blahaj.zone

anyone who’s attracted to someone can post here :)

I’ve seen adults with crushes so…