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felipeforte@lemmygrad.ml

Older comrades in here. I have a question. Need some advice. (lemmygrad.ml)

submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by GloriousDoubleK@lemmygrad.ml to c/comradeship@lemmygrad.ml

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I have a partner in my polycule relationship that is going to date someone from Ukraine. 😒

I have a problem. I can respect that ANY Ukrainian is likely pissed about the Donbas war and the Russian SMO.

I dont know this man. And Im already disgusted with myself for being prejudiced.

My partner is a socially progressive liberal. And they once tried taking me to task about China once before.

I told them it was best we never talked global politics.

But I will absolutely 100% lose my entire shit if my partner starts going openly rah rah for Ukraine.

My partner says they love and adore me. But they dont have a deep appreciation of me being a Tankie and they deserve to know. They deserve to understand or at least know who I am.

I cant abide a lover living in a lie and giving their love on a misunderstanding.

How do I approach this diplomatically and in good faith? Because Im probably gonna have to meet this guy and frankly... He is a Ukrainian in the US. Im being prejudiced; but I am automatically expecting this guy to obviously be against Russia and at best; reactionarily supporting Azov and Banderites simply because they're the ones fighting.

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[–] freagle@lemmygrad.ml -2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sounds like your liberal partner is about to find exactly the one thing that could be done to turn politics from not relevant to deal breaking.

Honestly, if I didn't know better, I'd think it's deliberate. Knowing better, I think it's a probably a move based on some very weird dynamics that play directly into the Ukrainian victim/martyrdom complex and that in and of itself would be a deal breaker for me. But it can only end in conflict with you looking the bad person. Which means that I would advise you the relationship is now materially on its last legs. You could bring your partner closer to your politics, potentially, but more likely it will not work and arguing won't change anything except the opinion others have of you.

My advice, begin the process of leaving the relationship.

[–] GloriousDoubleK@lemmygrad.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

To be fair, Im admitting to being prejudiced. But the chance of this guy being a stoic, principled, based anti-NATO dude... In the USA is just.... 🙁

At any rate... I owe it to my partner to understand who I am and my world view. It would be wrong for me to allow them to misunderstand me.

[–] freagle@lemmygrad.ml -2 points 2 years ago

You're not in control of whether others understand you. You can make an attempt, but if you have a liberal partner falling for a Ukrainian in the US after they already gave you shit over China, I wouldn't hold my breath for them to understand you