Comradeship // Freechat

Related to a post from few days ago. Basically, it's first time I'm hearing about it, I thought that general consensus is that humans shouldn't really be having body hair(since we evolved past that) and nothing about voice in general.

I have basically the same voice since I was 12 and have no hair except on top of the head, eyebrows and eyelashes and never heard of it being considered feminine, I thought that it's completely normal thing for both genders alike, but I of course never cared about gender norms so this stuff never came to my mind.

Can someone explain this stuff and what other things are unnecessarily separated between genders for some reason?

I used to be a football hooligan in what now seems like a previous life and I hope it comes as no surprise that the vast majority of the ultras sections are hunting grounds for right wing movements seeking out young (mostly) men who are willing to form what are essentially militias.

Apart from this several right wing groups throughout Europe and the US have their own militias who do martial arts and combat training.

This, of course, seems all very LARP-y until it doesn't and they come to protests better equipped to fight.

For the time I have been active in political organizing not once have I seen the same effort coming from a left wing party and honestly it seems rather naive. I don't think you should advertise stuff like that out in the open because that would make you an easy target for bad press and it will probably scare people away anyway.

But still. Should left wing organisations offer martial arts or other self defense courses? Should we be 'above that'? And what if shit does hit the fan?

Like fuck me do you really want to go to war with Russia? While the US is probably not going to be your ally? Really?

The fucking arrogance. And all the libs and the socdems are acting like brave little warriors who will die for... For what? What is the goal? By all means go fight in Ukraine but leave me out of it.

I learnt it from a comment under an Extra History's YouTube video.

I also found the picture above from the Internet.

Thanks so much for the help I've received on here previously, but I need some more help. I am making a post on mutual aid but sometimes I have to make two or three posts there before getting a response, and sometimes don't get a response at all.

For the infection in my surgical wounds I need 10% povidone iodine solution, like this:

https://www.storkz.com/amazonbasics-195515026321.html?currency=GBP&country=GB&gad_source=1

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/296729003742?_skw=betadine+10%25&itmmeta=01JMHH7M8A61K6K6D2WPNVXPQS&itmprp=enc%3AAQAKAAAA0FkggFvd1GGDu0w3yXCmi1cTXE%2BmRk4GVgSEculzC58x9cZSuZXq7XI9kq57z5TSmu7WAr2%2F8XQwzy0HRKsG%2BVqsOPCe9nFf%2BtbFDpN7Z8hFArjpQDLvw%2Fpsb6NC9eunqXczS2v03VbExbf2ImMX80tc%2B8l7UXmEwDf33g4nEkoRE4tdwkIiz5K%2Fx3nCpQ0O7H%2FylzExCiUAe2m%2FLyVvJcBCk%2BGUucvrZ1f9jzw8iXz8ISFbhDPnitUvm4o2elEwXbTlnFlu264pcE07k1%2FHbhE%3D|tkp%3ABk9SR6rEnrGkZQ

https://betadine.com/betadine-products/betadine-antiseptic-solution/#%3A%7E%3Atext=%28povidone-iodine%2C+10%25%29&text=Our+trusted+antiseptic+solution+helps%2Ccuts%2C+scrapes%2C+and+burns.

10% ointment like this:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/286121265009?_skw=10%25+povidone+iodine&itmmeta=01JMHQBRZAS54Z1023EWWKXR6B&itmprp=enc%3AAQAKAAAA8FkggFvd1GGDu0w3yXCmi1etS20HUYiC6M823Ih5MmRdEE%2FssHoz5KdbX3zue0z72d4pDCv%2B%2BfO2K5f08iCDrN6QbY5HIYjWbhZl0UnIRvf5DYii0xs6eYCg1jSJDm%2BUXn52DW3McU6kaRz8GZIve9gRxJogDgb2gsBDqpBExI%2Fs37ucmN8N9sCHEZDofhUHnWI1U7jjlPehrIR5yBCdbtl3aGX0ndEgxpCLPM%2BIGQZGWyUFUY0sduAclOW07JkNqauCkIpowhhJZD%2BepIzKggx0cKlwNHInbyHHf1WsknpX5rUpB4xu9vP%2BnCHuz1eCjw%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR-yPr7ekZQ

https://www.salesatdrmyhill.co.uk/betadine---povidone-iodine-ointment-20g-758-p.asp

I need strong, waterproof shoe covers as I can't wear shoes right now but still need to go to medical appointments:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pack-pcs-PREMIUM-overshoes-ASPRO/dp/B078YQTM3X?sbo=RZvfv%2F%2FHxDF%2BO5021pAnSA%3D%3D&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9zZWFyY2hfdGhlbWF0aWM

I also need quite a lot of powder-free nitrile gloves, like this:

https://www.mccormicktools.co.uk/products/ph-bodyguards-gl895-blue-nitrile-powder-free-disposable-gloves?variant=41740133138513

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/144733163093?_skw=bodyguards+nitrile+1000&itmmeta=01JMHHT6Q4ZNHNBGPTF56MDF5F&itmprp=enc%3AAQAKAAAA8FkggFvd1GGDu0w3yXCmi1cHxNMsQ0GDCRBaAScC%2B9RwFKkiuhIR5nEP8OsNVz%2B%2B7eW94mwsaYpeRQZtLtKgHg7VZA0MLI8iXT0xr7RKWCzhPlar%2F5IzZ4%2BtFShMMdKd1QWIvApjsGUQjDFX9o78JZFVVId9SByqdktT7rYensjNCg8TrqLOIDlVujvus5xAAqql%2BzBktjC1zJSIfKADlLw3hUov0uW5XXOoqq7xnor2NWcIbghck%2Bsr9cQ%2B3yC2lT2jF%2BCUf7SmqRSm0%2BfVPU%2FJB%2F3oQ2NZ9%2FjRyvbJ0%2FJvE%2FjVHvwSiJ%2FkqLo%2BIVefkA%3D%3D|tkp%3ABFBM6OvosaRl&var=443958739103

Would anyone be willing to order these items and send them to me? As mentioned in previous posts, I would prefer not to accept money if at all possible because of the DWP checking claimant's bank accounts, and I can't afford to buy things myself until I get my benefit claim sorted out. I need these items quite urgently. I need as large a quantity as possible, as my surgical wounds keep getting infected and I have another surgery scheduled for 24th April, so I'll be going through all this again, for months.

Having the US as an ally can be as risky as having an enemy. After heavily investing in supporting Ukraine during the conflict with Russia, American authorities publicly admitted that they knew from the beginning that the country would not have the conditions to win the war. Now, Donald Trump's government takes a central role in the negotiations to end the conflict, acting almost as a "guardian" of Ukraine — and demands its price: it requires concessions, such as access to rare earth deposits in Ukrainian territory.

Meanwhile, President Zelensky, once hailed as a hero in the West, is facing harsh criticism. Trump has called him a "dictator" and a "comedian" and even stated: "He should never have provoked Russia."

With Ukraine weakened and without solid support, speculation is growing that the country could end up divided: Russia would maintain control of occupied areas, and the US would secure economic interests in exchange for ending hostilities.

And let's not forget: Zelensky is a product of the interventionist policies of the US in the person of American diplomat Victoria Nuland, who orchestrated the events of Euromaidan in 2014.

Nuland revived an expansionist project that had been developed during the Cold War, which consisted of expanding NATO to Eastern Europe with the aim of ending Russian influence; this was also one of the main objectives defended by Zelensky.

Zelensky is the outsider who led his country into the perfect trap... perhaps that is the role of every outsider.

Individualism, especially as the "rugged individualist" point of view, tends to get presented as some sort of triumph over limitations. As the story often goes, a person is dealing with circumstances beyond their control that range from difficult to traumatizing. Rather than back down, the person goes through some kind of experience of toughening up, if they are not already built of grit and steel, and they power through the trying circumstances, coming out stronger and more capable.

This romanticizing of struggle glosses over those who suffer and come out weaker. It glosses over those who suffer and are annihilated by it. And importantly, it ignores the push and pull of being a part of an ecosystem and a society of some kind; an experience that every human being shares.

Individualism, then, is not describing reality, but is denying it. Worse still, it is in some societies not a fringe view hardly known by anyone. Ironically, individualim is in some societies a view collectively shared by millions of people. So then you get the archetypes like the "independent thinker" in western society, who acts extremely similar to the next "independent thinker", with both of them thinking they are uniquely different from one another.

This is why I call individualism a shared hallucination. Certain basic principles of reality and humanity are not being fundamentally changed by people believing in individualism. No matter how hard you believe in individual will, you still have a physical body that is limited by its existence in a particular ecosystem, which has basic needs like food, water, and oxygen. No matter how hard you believe in individual will, you still are influenced by other human beings from birth and influence the world around you, in a back and forth that both shapes you and shapes the world in small or big ways. And no matter how hard you believe in individual will, the whole of the rest of the environment and every other being and society in it, is having more or less the same basic relationship of push and pull. Individualism gets caught up in focusing on the push and neglects the pull. More specifically, it gets caught up in your push in isolation and ignores the push that everyone else and every system else is doing, whether consciously carried out or through sheer inertia.

Opposing individualism is not a denial of will, which would be in its own way a delusion, but is opposing the delusion of supremacy of individual will and opposing the denial of collective influences. The example of the "independent thinker" is important because it shows how fundamentally people are pulled toward similarities, no matter how much they cling to a belief of being unique or "elite". Whether you have some things that are technically unique about you because of no one experiencing 100% the same things in all ways is sort of beside the point. The point is that you aren't escaping the shared experience of the push and pull with the ecosystem, with other beings, with society. If you believe in life after this one, that's another matter, but no amount of believing will escape the fundamental push and pull in this world.

The good news of this is that you are far more alike than you are different and that no matter who you are interacting with, if not a single other similarity, you will still share the same experience of existing as a being in that push and pull. Not as supremacy of individual, but as an inescapable part of some kind of collective sphere of similarities, whether it is concretely defined in language or more vague and transitory.

Author's Note: Wanted to write up something on individualism. Not married to the exact specifics and presentation, but want to encourage more thought about how individualism impacts people.

Red and yellow metal tin that says "made in the peoples republic of china" im definitely gonna keep this container once the tea is gone lol only thing that could make it better is a hammer and sickle.

Looking to find if anyone here wants to become friends. I'm gonna leave my Discord and Steam name down bellow in the spoiler. If you don't want to use/can't use those, you can just message me here on Lemmygrad, or just under this post. If you just want to message/talk to eachother, that's okay. I'm just looking to make a friend or two, if possible. Gonna add some information about myself so you know what you're dealing with (e.g, my timezone..): Pretty lonely, kind of sad. Been in and out of the psych ward/psychiatric clinic (I don't know what the proper term is) for related reasons. I'm a youngen (i.e, underage). My timezone is UTC +2, so if you live in NY, it'd be 12:00 when it's 19:00 for me. Thought it was important to leave that here.

I promised:

Discord: frederickangelxcarlmarcyaoi; Steam: khamasparaglider. I'll add that, I have 43€ in my steam wallet, so if you have a game that I don't, I can just buy it. This applies vice versa too.

Know this post is kinda weird, but I really don't have any better way to communicate this. And as I already said, bored and lonely. This is one of the only "webforums" that I trust, so that's why I'm posting this on here and not Reddit or something. That and I really don't want to befriend a nazi or a zionist, or both

If you follow the adventures of the Curse Avoider (the name is ironic), you know that I had a GP appointment today. I got the recommendation to the other hospital and they'll probably call me later this week or the next to make an appointment.

She took it seriously at least. I think I really need to easily convey just how disabling these symptoms are for me because they see me in front of them and think it's not that bad. When I mentioned that I try not to take long drives (e.g. to the other hospital) because I could have an episode behind the wheel and what do I do if I'm on the highway, she seemed to understand that something needs to be done.

I asked about a certificate also, mentioning that the hema didn't want to make me one and couldn't explain, and she said (they're both women fyi if the pronouns are messing up with your sequence of events, all my doctors are women actually) that they need to exhaust all medical possibilities first before doing that and then determining just how out of work this puts me. I said yeah that's fine, if it's the process it's the process. I just need them to take this seriously and understand that this is where I'm at, and I need their help on this. I'm the patient and every doctor tells me a PE is serious but I feel like nobody takes it seriously and I have to come up with my own treatment plan.

Anyway, I got the recommendation for the other hospital and hopefully move my case there because I can't with this shitty useless local hospital lol. I'm not expecting a miracle solution even though my family is because I think we've done all the tests and even if we knew the cause what would it change? I'm still at risk for clotting. Unless we can tell for sure this was caused by my 2021 covid vaccine or something (they pulled the moderna one because of this btw, but it happens in the first few weeks).

So that's the next step, is seeing a doctor at that hospital and seeing what they say. I basically have three options:

1. Keep taking the NOAC (that's your word of the day again from last thread, these are the new blood thinners that don't require any monitoring) but become disabled. This is what I'm doing rn.
2. Stop taking the blood thinners entirely, but no doctor recommends that -- not the hema and not my GP today. It goes contrary to my diagnosis which is unprovoked pulmonary embolism.
3. Go on the older thinners but they also come with their own issues (frequent monitoring, being careful about what you eat, and it's an all or nothing thinner so higher propensity for hemorrhages and difficulty to stop bleeding). This may be what the hospital recommends, I'll only know when I see them.

She also gave me some medication to help manage the symptoms, but it's not stuff you can take long-term, more like until I visit the hospital. I also have to try it and see if it helps, so I said okay sure.

If I'm disabled I'm disabled, I accept it. And if they figure they can safely do the older thinners then that's what it is, I accept it as well. I think. But I need solutions, I need them to follow through and not stick me in limbo where I have to call back in "a month" when they haven't changed anything and I've been having these issues for over 9 months lmao.

Solidarity to all my comrades. It's tough out there.

I'm seeing my GP (not actually in the UK, GP is just the word I learned) tomorrow and I hope she has better news. I'm not holding my breath because she doesn't know anything about pulmonary embolisms and always defers to the hematologist's advice. If she doesn't have anything to offer me at the very least I hope I can get a referral for the new hospital.

If you followed my last posts, last Thursday I went to see my hematologist and basically came out of it being ran in circles and with no clearer plan in mind. She said at the end "let me know in a month or so how it goes" how what goes?? She didn't say. I've had these episodes for 9 months now it's not gonna suddenly change lmao that's the definition of insanity, doing the same thing and expecting a different result. She basically politely threw me out of her office when I asked for a certificate. So I decided after that to get my case transferred to another hospital where they can hopefully be more available (she only works two days a week come on) and offer actual treatment options. And if my GP is just as useless I'll have to find another one that has experience with PEs. Which is absolutely not something I want to do because at this time anything is difficult to do and I really could do with less effort on my end. But that's how it is when you get sick in capitalism, you not only have to deal with the illness but you get punished for it. Complete strangers on the streets have been more helpful and understanding of my struggles than actual doctors.

I'm not one to usually get mad at other people but maybe I should. Maybe I should admit that she's utterly useless and can't do her job properly when you have a 30yo otherwise healthy patient who suddenly develops several embolisms. Maybe that's what it takes to show how debilitating my symptoms are right now because of the treatment.

I mean they ran a battery of tests when I got the PE including full blood work (the hospital originally ordered the wrong genetics test to give you an idea how stupid healthcare is around here), and including a full ultrasound of my leg arteries. Both came back squeaky clean, I should be in perfect health. When I started having the side effects (the nausea) we did even more tests, including another full blood test, and everything came back perfect again. So at this time the medical opinion is 99% sure this is caused by the medication.

Anyway my day started fine though I underslept a little, but at around noon time I got a nausea episode (I call them episodes now to underscore the seriousness). The only reason they're nausea episodes and not vomiting episodes is because I do everything in my physical power not to puke because even though nothing comes out it's like my body is trying to eject my lungs each time. And it's not just a one off, I can do the motions so to speak 3, 4, or even 5 times in a row. Like I've been sick before with stomach bugs and other stuff like that that makes you puke, and it was never as strong as it is with this shit. Sorry for talking about this so grossly lol but tbh after 9 months of feeling like this on the daily I just talk about it openly now.

I turned this into a wall of text again and removed a bunch of stuff lol. One way I thought of explaining it just now is like a stomach flu that will never go away. The triggers are a little bit different but it's otherwise very similar, random vomit attacks throughout the day and very sensitive triggers. And you get a certificate for the stomach flu lol. But the hematologist thinks apparently I can work with this and an employer will happily say "yes we will hire and pay you for 40 hours a week even though you only work 8 because you're always calling in sick" lmao. Like even just the daily commute would be torture for me with this -- I had one half day of work in December and it was impossible. I got an episode soon after arriving and even just typing a checklist on Word was impossible. I had to give the keyboard to my group and let them finish it without me while I was taking everything I had in my power not to start puking everywhere. Oh but the hematologist thinks it's not a "strong enough" reason for a certificate but she also won't give me another solution lmaoooo she can go fuck herself I'm so over this useless dipshit doctor. I'm giving one chance tomorrow to my GP but if I sense she doesn't get it or she's reluctant and I can't convince her, I'm switching. I'm done wasting my time and being nice, I need a fucking treatment plan that works OR they need to accept that I'm disabled and help me get the care I need. If they can't they don't deserve to keep taking my money.

This is mental, and infuriating.

I had a stroke during covid, which has caused problems with walking, balance and co ordination. Even basic things like dressing myself are more difficult now. The rehabilitation and physiotherapy parts of my local hospital were shut down because of covid, so my treatment was delayed.

Eventually, I started physiotherapy but by then the damage had been done. It hasn't helped at all. After a while, the physios realised it wasn't going to help, and said I should have been referred to the neuro physiotherapists all along. So I spent several years getting inadequate treatment (and this inadequate treatment also started late because of covid).

They finally referred me to the neurophysios, and I've been on that waiting list for about a year. Yesterday I got a letter from them. Paraphrasing, but it basically said:

You've been referred to us. If you still want treatment, call this number within 2 weeks or you'll be removed from our list.

The letter was dated 30th December. Now I don't know if they'll make an exception or if it's too late and I have to be put to the back of the waiting list again. This is what it's like for a stroke patient trying to get basic treatment. And the government wonders why so many people are too disabled to work.

😡

One of the metro lines I frequently take has had a defect escalator for over a year now because there seems to be no money whatsoever to fix it. Buses and metros are absolutely packed 90% of the time because of delays or canceled vehicles.

But now there seems to be money for external security firms to tackle people not paying for a ticket. Also, the politicians want to block access to the platform without a ticket with gates.

When is it enough? When do we as working people stop the insults?

My mental health is getting progressively worse and worse, and my medication can only do so much. It doesn't help that I only see other people in person every 4 or so days because I live out in the middle of nowhere USA and only go into town when I am driven to the store by my cousin to buy myself food. If I was able to drive this probably wouldn't be so bad, but due to a few disabilities I have I likely will never be able to drive. What keeps me going is refusing to give up until I see the fall of the US empire.

So I should be asking this question to a psychologist experienced with dealing with gender issues, but the waiting time for that is measured in months, so here I am. I know that the amount of help an internet forum can provide me is limited, so I'm kind of just dumping my thoughts to see if I can make sense of any of this.

Anyway, getting into it, I've recently been doubting my gender identity. Like, I honestly cannot conclusively tell you which gender I really feel like I am. I want to so badly be able to say "I am a woman" or "I am a man". I suspect that I am a woman, but I want to be able to know it, not piece together circumstantial evidence from what feels like a third person view.

For those of you who might have followed my (numerous) posts, before taking hormones, I couldn't wait to start transitioning. After taking my first shot of hormones, I don't feel enthusiastic to transition at all. Maybe that's just the reality of the situation and all the future troubles setting in. Maybe my expectations are just warped. Maybe it's just the hormones messing with my emotions. Maybe I'm actually non-binary.

[Possible CW: transphobia]

Even more worryingly, I have the fear that I am just misinterpreting a "kink". Or is that fear just internalized transphobia?

The only thing I know for certain is that "normal" men don't have such prolonged and intense identity crises. All I wish for is to just find out the right answer before I make a complete fool of myself. Although, I guess this is all my fault for rushing in out of desperation to finally "fix" myself.

I'd like to buy one, but I'm kinda confused about which models can be jailbroken and their pros and cons. Ideally it would have a >6" screen and cost between 60-160 euros, 200 max

I was thinking about human development and how as we get further into a socialist society we may find it hard to get children to fully grasp what past systems were like.

There are people who theorize we are a simulation and they give various ideas for why this might be. One most of them wouldnt consider as they are libs is we could just be in a full immersion learning environment. Imagine we are all students in some future school who have been sent into a simulated past to live the lives our ancestored lived and see first hand the horrors of capitalism. Start taking notes youre probably gonna have to write a paper on all this shit once you wake up.

Hi comrades, this is the most realistic story about aliens invading our planet:

Governments of North America reported sighting 20 UFOs over the sky in the morning. This day, a big spaceship entered the orbit and 10 disk shaped UFOs started descending from it. All Western countries panicked and the entire NATO invoked article 5 and mobilized its military. The US government put nuclear ICBMs on high alert. Everyone kept wondering what will happen to humans. Will they enslave us? Or will they destroy our species and use our planet for resources?

After 2 hours, the UFOs finally landed. A group of 4 green-skinned black-eyed unarmed aliens walked up to the nearest TV reporter. The entire world fell silent. All people were shocked to see a far more advanced civilization. After looking at this reporter, one alien said:

"Hi! We came here to establish diplomatic relations. We became socialist a millenium ago and forgot how capitalism works. Do you want win-win cooperation? We would like to invest in your infrastructure. You can do basically anything you want with what we build, we just want a new planet to do business with. If you want to, here is our SpaceMail address and the device to access cosmic Wi-Fi. Also, we opensourced our most advanced AI system ever. This is a 100000 page DIY manual how to set it up. Sorry that it's so long, it just also happens to contain all the scientific knowledge that we gained to make this thing, including our opensource advanced CPU. Why do we care about you? It's because we value diversity that empowers us with multiple viewpoints, and we support alien rights. There is enough space for us all. Thank you for listening, good bye"

The aliens went back to their UFOs. After two hours, they reached the spaceship and it teleported back home.

Greetings,

I have a peer-to-peer teach speech on March 5th. The teacher grades the hardest for those going last (and that is yours truly.) Who I'm supposed to be doing a presentation on is Margaret (puke) Thatcher. If I were to use the usual sources on her, the presentation would be pro-neoliberalism propaganda. If I were to use socialist sources that displayed how life really was during her term, my audience might believe I'm doing negative propaganda against her.

How would communists re-educate? I don't aim to sway the audience towards socialism since I only have short time with them. I imagine that in history class within a communist society, figures of the west are not glorified and sugarcoated. There's truth. I just want to do research on Thatcher and show how life truly was for immigrants, people of color, working class, etc. I wish to challenge that western perspective of praising her, but my issue is, I don't want to give a propaganda vibe.

TL;DR: Tell me how re-education goes in communist societies. What are the qualities of their history classes? How did they approach people "transitioning into communist ideals" coming out from capitalist ideals? Could I also add some components that makes the "lesson" enjoyable to listen to so that information is digested into their mind?

Here are sources shown about Margaret Thatcher, and here is her opinion on Socialism.

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.”

https://cupola.gettysburg.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1865&context=student_scholarship

In this source, they called it "The Great Wave: Margaret Thatcher, The Neo-liberal Age, and the Transformation of Modern Britain."

https://www.socialistalternative.org/2021/03/29/the-bitter-legacy-of-margaret-thatcher/

And here's a socialist source I found. There are words that the average liberal cannot look at (capitalism, capitalist, working class, etc.) They immediately stop listening when they hear those words uttered.

Hello and welcome to another instalment of CurseAvoider diaries. Yes, the name is ironic. I actually got it from an online username generator and thought it was funny all things considered.

I have a dr friend, well, I've had them for a while actually, but I still have them, and I originally wanted to ask him about my hematologist's refusal to establish a certificate. If you missed that, check my posts on my profile.

Instead we mostly talked about treatment options and he cleared it up much better for me than the hematologist has done in months. And that's not even his specialty.

Basically, the options that I have would be as such:

1. Take anti-nausea medication to reduce or eliminate them (and stay on xarelto blood thinners).
2. go on the older blood thinners (vitamin K suppressants)
3. stop blood thinners entirely and monitor my D-dimer (clotting protein in the blood), then go back on blood thinners when needed.

Each one has their ups and downs though. For example he recommended a nausea medication but I looked into it and you shouldn't take it for more than 5 days because it can cause irreversible motor damage lmao. I have problems every day all day long so I can't be taking this long-term.

He said that if I was his patient this is something he would start looking into. And I think that's the keyword -- I need someone to actually consider these options seriously and offer it as a treatment, which means they have to follow up on it as well. Can't just send me home with blood thinners I have to monitor every week and say case closed. My hematologist kind of threw around these options as well, but as like something I could elect to do. But when I asked "but what is your professional medical advice?" she said "don't stop the medication, absolutely not".

I need to know that they're following my case and taking it seriously. All doctors (them included) tell me a PE is serious and needs to be taken seriously but I feel like they're just running me around in circles and don't want to take responsibility for treating me. I'm fine with continuing the disabling xarelto and other NOACs (that's your word of the day, by the end of this you will be an expert in pulmonary embolisms -- they're the "new" blood thinners on the market) BUT they have to recognize I'm disabled. It makes no sense to say "yes, you have nausea, yes it's caused by the treatment, yes you have to continue this treatment, but no we won't do anything about it"

I'm seeing my GP on Tuesday and will be getting her opinion as well. The problem with this GP is she doesn't know anything about PE and always asks the hetamologist before giving me advice. So basically useless, I can call the hematologist myself.

I'm going to look into getting my case transferred to another hospital that's apparently better at this type of stuff for a second opinion and to take up the treatment care. Also my hematologist only works on tue. and thurs. which is not helpful when I have an important question about my serious case on Friday morning. I can't do anything with this uselessness.

Then eventually also consider changing GPs and finding that has experience with PE because she can't help either. Basically until proven otherwise I need long-term care for this (even if it's just medication), I have a heightened risk of embolisms and that's what it is.

Fabulous beasts, You shou yan (有兽焉).

A very cute and silly animated series from China, 48 episodes.

Normally I would post this on hexbear, but it's still down (I think). The hormone was estradiol enanthate mixed in MCT.

Anyway, after all my struggles with even getting hormones, I finally managed to inject. Kind of messed up the injection. I wasted a shot and had to throw it away, and underdosed the second one, but I didn't mess up in a dangerous way, so good enough for my first time.

Afterwards, I didn't feel any changes to my mood, but I did get serious cramps in the leg whose butt I injected into. Then I was shivering a lot, despite normally being able to withstand the cold pretty easily. The shivering was really bad in the morning after I woke up, but things have calmed down now.

I don't think the cramps are anything serious, since I've also gotten them when taking vaccines. But the shivering confuses me. Well, whatever it was, I'll still take a shot next week.

So after yesterday's strike I made the mistake to engage with liberals about said strike and I have come to the conclusion that I might even hate them more than far right people.

With far right people at least you know what they stand for. They hate minorities, they hate socialism and they are outright saying it. It goes against everything I stand for but at least they are honest about it and in a weird way I respect their honesty.

Liberals, though, are just snakes. They act all concerned about everyone's welfare but at the same time budget cut the ever living shit out of healthcare, education, welfare, public transport, etc. And they now have found a new standard response: 'but what about defense????' It's like they are drones without independent thought and their new update made them all defense experts. And the smugness they portray when making these points is just insufferable to the point I want to punch their teeth out.

End of rant.