this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2025
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top 37 comments
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[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 87 points 6 days ago (3 children)

This outcome is good either way tho.
If she was actually into you and didnt do anything about it at all for years, then she is an idiot and you dodged a bullet.
If she is lying then she just wants to make you sad and you dodged a bullet.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 48 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Option 3 - she just wanted some dick & was trying to get you to volunteer as tribute.

[–] Slovene 27 points 6 days ago

Option 4 - she was doing a lot about it but you thought she was Canadian and was just being polite.

[–] medem@lemmy.wtf 2 points 5 days ago

In that case, maybe he should cumtribute indeed.

[–] zeropointone@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

This is not how real people act.

[–] zeropointone@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago
[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 6 days ago

If she was actually into you and didnt do anything about it at all for years, then she is an idiot and you dodged a bullet.

So, there might be 2 idiots then.

[–] octopus_ink@slrpnk.net 56 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

This is the sort of comment that no one believes but I'm OK with that.

The night before I left for boot camp, I had not one but two longtime female friends throw themselves at me, within less than an hour of each other. I slept with neither of them, didn't do more than kiss either of them, but we're talking sudden, "OK, what is she-oh wow ok-5 minutes go by" kind of kisses. I'd known one of them since the first grade.

Now, here's the part where you stop formulating your accusations of implausible humblebrag and it becomes relatable to OP. 😁

YEARS, and by years I mean DECADES of my life passed before I considered the possibility that it was anything other than "we're probably not going to see each other again after this, let me give him a treat to remember me by."

And let me tell you, when that sort of realization hits you decades later, it's on a whole 'nother level.

[–] Soapbox@lemmy.zip 8 points 6 days ago

See, my cynical self assumed they both were hoping to lock you down as a BF or husband to mooch off of you, and cheat like crazy while you are deployed.

Maybe I have just heard those stories too many times, from people I know who were in the military.

[–] zeropointone@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Honest question: What makes you think those kisses meant more?

[–] Slotos 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] octopus_ink@slrpnk.net 3 points 5 days ago

There was quite a surprising amount of that, I have to admit.

[–] octopus_ink@slrpnk.net 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Sad Answer: I'm 30 years too late to find out!

[–] zeropointone@lemmy.world -1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Nothing beyond two kisses happened. That's reality. Possibilities are not reality, what-ifs are not reality.

[–] octopus_ink@slrpnk.net 1 points 5 days ago

Yes yes, thank you Mx. wet blanket. I think by now I have that part of living down.

[–] omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 6 days ago (1 children)

How my gun looks at me after 3 whiskeys on an empty stomach

[–] MajesticTechie@feddit.uk 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Honytawk 0 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Obviously not.

Go get some help OP, that isn't a normal reaction in any stretch of the imagination. And it isn't a funny joke either.

[–] omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It's the original quote from the first time I saw this meme, chill lol

[–] big_slap@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago
[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 16 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Just because she's being flirty doesn't mean she's into you
And it's not fun to turn down someone like that
If they're interested they're going to have to ask
in writing and notarized to make sure there' s no miscommunication

[–] medem@lemmy.wtf 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I still can't forgive myself for not having asked a chick for her number after I had a good dance with her at a party....25 years ago. She was very pretty, exactly my kind of woman, at least physically, which is presumably why I was afraid to ask. It made me realise that I absolutely prefer to deal with the pain of rejection than to deal with the resentment and self-loathing of not having asked a woman out, asked for her number or even just talked to her.

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

males always forget that women are also insecure. When you think she will say No, she is really thinking I wish he would ask me

[–] medem@lemmy.wtf 3 points 5 days ago
[–] slowmorella@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I used to have a major crush on the brother of my best friend but never said anything. Mainly because i was a teenager and he was in his mid twenties and it would have made everything awkward between me and my best friend (it kind of feels forbidden where i come from). I think someone who seriously says something like this has nothing to lose or they know that nothing will ever happen anyway and they want to play mind games out of boredom or due to low self esteem.

[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago

Not today, CIA.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 10 points 6 days ago

I'm really glad I watched little miss sunshine while in highschool. I took this to heart and am so glad I did.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

So I kinda had the reverse happen. I graduated high school and this girl I kinda liked told me on the last day of school that she had a crush on me. So we dated for a few months but it never went anywhere.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

OP, I don't think you ever saw my sister's best friend in highschool.

[–] dataprolet@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 20 points 6 days ago (4 children)

It's an older picture. Her name is Elizabeth Riley. She doesn't post much anymore, but she's still got some good stuff on her Onlyfans page (https://onlyfans.com/lizrileyxo)

[–] Bababasti@feddit.org 15 points 5 days ago

Nice try! But I am prepared for your shenanigans

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, I think she's about 20

[–] polydactyl@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Wow that’s hot 🥵

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

friend of my sister. In all the times we had conversations I had to struggle to look at her face. For some reason my focus was always lower