Ask Lemmy

Absolutely ignore them. I will forever vote and say we need to house them and feed them, idgaf. But give them handouts from my poor ass, directly? Hellll no. Negative reinforcement through omission. Begging is not the way. I would rather them rob places and start murdering politicians. This is an entire society problem, not a me problem.

And before anybody calls me selfish, no - it's an issue of ability over scale. I can kill myself to absolutely help and try to fix one person, but it would cost me so, so much. And just like in a zombie game, if there's only one zombie, you can melee or whatever. But if there's a horde, you fix that shit with bigger guns or bring the crew.

What that means is, I'm not rich enough to fight zombies, so I'm walking away. And homeless people can ask me all they want, and I absolutely hold the social right to ignore them like any other person out there begging me to donate to their patreon or watch their ads or whatever they need in society to survive.

Fix the fucking system. Sorry, not sorry, but, capitalism, as it is right now, is not the way.

I live in a big city of an decently big country. Here we got many of them particularly around large train stations. I never give to them any money. Reason is - this country has a safety system in order to help people in need like this. If homeless people go against the rules (crime, drugs, abuse of the system) they get kicked out of the shelters. They get help with all sorts of things there and if they really are in dire situation and want to get back to normal life, they would get all necessary help they ever need and more. If they got kicked out, I believe they didn't really wanted to get back their normal life. And in some cases, I see just youth smoking weed on the side of the street and begging for money. They are not in need, they have families and homes. They just collect money for weed. Fuck those guys, really.

I give money to street performers all the time. This brings life and color to the city.

i gave them once, only realized they were lying about thier injury, never again. i just dont have money, but some homeless people can be aggressive/passive aggressive if you dont give them money.

I hate when they come by the car and look in your car.. if you move a little they think your gonna give them money..

Sucks I know but come on what’s up with the pressure ?

It's not tough.

Look them in the eyes like a human being and say "sorry dude, not today".

Alternatively just carry small amounts of cash to give to them.

Another alternative is asking them if they would like some food instead.

No matter what you do, keep in mind you are very likely a small step away from homelessness yourself.

I just say "sorry, I haven't". I think as long as you just try to acknowledge them in a good way, i.e. smiling, maintaining eye contact, being polite, so you still acknowledge them as the human being that they are.

Sure it's bad to lie, but so is being insensitive with the truth, whether it's "I wanna spend the money on myself" or "there are more effective ways to make a difference than giving money to you"

Depends. I probably give more frequently than the average person. I live in an area with a lot of unhoused people and every encounter is different. I have seen the same people panhandling certain areas and I typically skip those, sometimes it's someone selling a newspaper specifically made for unhoused people to sell and I'll tend to buy one from them, sometimes it's someone asking by a store and I'll tell them I'll get them on the way out, if they're obviously not crazy or aggressive in response then yea I do give them something on the way out if I can. One guy walks straight up into traffic with his dog and it's never for him. Sometimes I'll have a bottle of water in the car and I will tend to give that rather than money for the intersection people.

I guess it's vibes whether I give or not. If the vibe is obviously off or dangerous, nah. I will admit to stereotyping this scenario but if it's a lady with a headscarf with kids...no that is a f'ed up scam.

But often it's just someone asking and they're not being aggressive and I'll hand them a buck and nine times out of ten they say thank you or God bless you. 1 time out 10 it isn't as nice or they might ask for more. I don't belong to a church but in some ways I like the idea of tithing so I have reframed a lot of giving out some money directly as part of that. I donate to orgs too. At the end of the day, they're people. I have no clue if or how we can solve the homelessness crisis but I have to keep reminding myself that they're people. So I try to just think of it as if I have it today this could really benefit them and it won't cost me too much to throw a buck their way.

We are also living in an era of increased fear and I am actively just trying to see people for whoever they are and having more small interactions with whoever. Striking up a little small talk with the cashier or people in line. Cracking a joke to a stranger if we both saw something kinda funny. Trying not to be naive about it and using my best judgement but I think we are losing our ability to just be with each other more and more. We all want to live in a community and have a nice neighborhood. The reality is I chose to live where I do and my community has a lot of unhoused people so I have to accept they are a part of my community. I don't believe in gated HOA type living for myself, so why should I expect that level of conformity and comfort? I'll face more discomfort but try to still live within my values in the face of it.

Aaaaand the edible has kicked in.

I don't usually give money but I do acknowledge them. Usually try to look them in the face and say "sorry I don't have any cash" or something like that. From having spent time with a few of them (I used to work the night shift at a restaurant and often let people hang out or have a coffee), something that hurts many of them is the dehumanization.

Of course if its not just someone asking for money but someone clearly having a mental breakdown, I do my best not to engage because you never know how that could be taken.

When I was younger a person who I admired said:

"I always carry some extra money in my wallet for when someone needy asks. It's not my place to decide if this person needs help or not. Maybe they will use the money for drugs, maybe they need the money for clothes for their children. When I die and get to the pearly gates, I don't want to find out that I had the opportunity to help someone who needed help and I didn't help them because I assumed they would spend the money on drugs. Maybe they will spend the money on drugs, but that's not for me to know right now."

I thought that was some of the most noble shit my early 20's ass had ever heard.

Fast-forward a few years to me and my new wife honeymooning in...San Francisco. My noble naive ass brought a wallet full of cash with me so I could help people in need. Nothing terrible happened, but I soon ran out of cash and we decided to start handing out food. NOBODY WANTED THE FOOD. They just wanted the money. I would offer food, and they would just say "do you have any money?"

Anyway, nowadays I just say "sorry bro, I don't carry cash".

Unless they take Apple Pay I can't give them any money even if I wanted to.

NYC, we just ghost everyone that’s not directly involved in our life. My day consists of ghosting the entire city until I get to work

I lived in a rough neighborhood for a good while. It hardens you to it a bit. I just say I don’t have anything for them.

Sometimes I give, sometimes I don't, kinda depends if I have cash.

As a reasonably sized man, I also try to make eye contact and give a polite "Sorry I don't have anything today." For those who really need the help and are trying like hell to get it, I can't imagine the insult to injury you must feel to not only not get help but also to be treated as though you are invisible. I like to at least let people who ask know that I can see them.

If you're in a legitimately dangerous place or you feel you may be at risk in some way maybe don't do this though.

If I have change or a spare buck, I give it to them. I don't care what they spend it on.

Call in the national guard apparently.

Say "no sorry" and move along, its not a problem for individuals to solve.

I tell them the truth: I don't carry cash.

Its not like you can say “oh no, I donate to services that help the needy” because that person isn’t necessarily being helped by that.

I had a friend say exactly that to someone. When I asked them further about it, they said, "he knows where to find a cot." That was more convincing to me before I listened to the "According to Need," Podcast. It looked at homelessness in the Bay Area (where we live) and getting a bed is nearly impossible.

I don't usually give money cause I rarely carry small bills. But sometimes. And I will without fail buy food for anyone who asks.

Ignore them.

I'll give sometimes if they're not pushy. If i don't want to, sometimes I'll tell them "I just gave all my change to that guy back there"

I feel really guilty and to avoid feeling worse by making eye contact, I just ignore them. The first time I encountered somebody homeless after being on my own, I felt like a huge asshole because all I could say was sorry while walking by them with grocery's. I didn't have cash on me at the time. Ever since then, I've just always ignored them. I'm what they call a hypocrite. Sucks

I have given sporadically in the past, depending on how poor I was at the time, etc.

I don't carry cash at all anymore, though.

i give them money, just $10. I feel bad and I'll be thinking about it all day. Even if they do something wrong with it at least they know someone cared

If you don't have the means to help with what they're asking for, a quick "Sorry, can't help today" and going about your business is they way to go. It's not a full on engagement, but it is an acknowledgement.

Back when I was a smoker, if I didn't have means to help with cash but had some smokes to spare and a little time I'd say "No, but if you smoke I can share one with you" and, if they were into it, stop and chat for a cigarette break's length of time. Lots of factors to consider here before doing that, but for the most part people enjoyed the acknowledgement for a few minutes. YMMV.

Peacefully coexisting is the hope imo. Just leave people alone, offer help if you can, otherwise wish them well.

Anyone harassing either has drug or mental issues, not much you can do but limit interactions.

Sound like asylums may be returning, so that will probably be horrible.

I almost never have cash or even change now, so that's what I tell them. I used to give them some money if I had it and wasn't immediately going to use it. One of my old friends used to give them a beer out of a pack he bought if there was a person outside the store or on the corner begging on the drive to wherever he was going.

I just tell them I've only got my card on me and keep walking.

As physical money is becoming more and more obsolete this is becoming less of a lie. And I certainly don't carry change on me anymore.

I used to give them whatever small change/bills I had on me, but then I realized that effectively added up to another monthly bill and I'm trying to save up for a home and need to have rainy day money in case my car eats shit. I vote to help them every chance I get and that is enough. If that isn't enough, then that's our system's fault, not my personal fault.

If I am not in a position to give i look the person in the eye, smile apologetically and say, “no, sorry.” I try not to ignore them and i am never rude. No one has ever reacted badly.

Been there done that. You never, ever know what’s the story behind a beggar. If I have and feel like it and I’m not in a rush I give. This is a fucked up world.

I walk faster because I don't know if they are asking for themselves, checking to steal from you (checking who has money, how much and if it's kept somewhere they can easily take it) or working for someone worse to kidnap you.

Living in México City does wonders to paranoia.